After I wrote a cover story a couple of weeks back in which I attempted to “predict” the 2004-2005 Carolina Panthers season, I got two reactions from people, examples of which follow.”I didn’t know you like sports. Man, what do you think of the Seahawks’ chance to win it all? They have a good “D,” good running game, and a favorable schedule. I think that with Holmgren…”(Example edited — sports fans can go on forever.)
“I didn’t know you like sports. Man, why do you waste your time with that stuff? Didn’t that sort of thing go out with the Romans? Do we really need to beat each other over the head to show that…”(Example edited — non-sports fans can also go on forever.)
On my way to the Charlotte sports event of the year — the Panthers vs. the Green Bay Packers on ABC’s Monday Night Football — all of the sentiment I received was of the first variety. People were three sheets to the wind well before the game’s 9pm start, gathering in large crowds outside of the stadium to hoot and holler and offer prescient commentary about Mr. Brett Favre’s oral habits.
Once I actually made it to the stadium, security was tighter than I’d ever seen it. I figured this had something to do with the whole MNF thing — after all, if something happened to Madden, 20 million PlayStation II fanatics would really never leave the house.
As it turns out, there was a “celebrity” in the house. Condoleeza Rice, a woman a man beside me would later claim is “pretty damn fine,” was sitting in Jerry Richardson’s luxury suite. Grabbing a pair of binoculars from a friend, I focused on Condi as she was digging through some carrot and celery sticks (and here I was thinking she supped on raw meat). As luck would have it, when Rice was shown on the stadium’s big screen and simultaneously on ABC’s broadcast, the strains on the “Darth Vader Theme” were blasting out of the speakers, a synchronous moment that I have a hard time believing wasn’t scripted.
The game: If you caught this one on TV, you pretty much saw everything. Despite Condi’s appearance, the night was all about the Green Party, as in Packers RB Ahman Green. At halftime, a friend and I went downstairs to grab a beer and bratwurst, but when we went back to our seats, we found out that Panthers star wide receiver Steve Smith had broken his leg. It was suggested that the Wisconsin-geared meal — all we needed was cheese at that point — had something to do with it — as well as the Panthers’ poor performance in general (sports fans are very superstitious).
For the rest of the game, a guy beside me kept yelling, “Packers suck!” A cheese-headed Packer fan would wittily counter with “Panthers swallow!” Repeat ad infinitum. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is sports. Dress it up in suits and ties, and we have another name for it: politics.
On Thursday evening, I went out to see area band Clifton — recently selected to open for Michelle Branch in Virginia and for Los Lobos and Live in California. They were to play a full set at the Visulite, along with The Sammies, who might just be one of my favorite bands period, in town or otherwise.Now, sports and music aren’t something that usually go together well, unless you’re talking about “Hell’s Bells” playing while a baseball closer enters the game in the bottom of the ninth inning. On a local level, I know of maybe five serious musicians who also like sporting events (all of these people confided in me in the strictest confidence). For some reason, there’s a train of thought that says one cannot be a serious “artiste” and also enjoy watching people playing a game.
The Sammies say “tell that to Hemingway.” During the band’s brief but electrifying set, the group took a moment to illustrate the importance of injured Panthers receiver Steve Smith upon their musical psyches — an actual “moment of silence.” Behind the band’s drummer, Joseph Huntley, hung a “Smith #89” replica jersey. The Panthers totem seemed to have magical properties for the sports-friendly band, coaxing and encouraging them to new heights of energetic majesty. Then again, it could have been the free beer.
This article appears in Sep 22-28, 2004.
