“Unless You’re A Hemorrhoid,” said the bumper sticker on the car in front of me, “Get Off My Ass.” Seeing as it was close to 10:30pm Friday night, I was running late, and said car was driving about 25 mph, I got to thinking. Does this mean that the driver likes hemorrhoids on his ass? I mean, nothing else is allowed, right — it’s hemorrhoids or nothing? Seeing as I was indeed on this person’s ass, did that make me a hemorrhoid? More likely, I thought, it just makes the other person an ass. I really didn’t have time for these philosophical musings. Grrr.
Luckily, I lost the witty motorist when I turned to pull into The Steeple Lounge, which was hosting something called The Doll Squad Burlesque Review, along with Atlanta rock band Gargantua. The Doll Squad, a traveling troupe of scantily clad, tattooed rock & roll gals carrying on (and taking off) to the latest rock hits, was a must-see, I was told. Trouble is, when I arrived, it was a no see. There were about 10 people there, and at least four of them were in the band. I had a vodka tonic and a Hostess Twinkie (bar foods like pretzels and nuts are so 90s), and then decided to head over to the Visulite Theatre to check out Snagglepuss, who were holding a CD release party for their latest effort, Parading About in the Altogether. At least somebody was.
Happily avoiding any slow-ass drivers with obnoxious bumper stickers, I headed to the Visulite, ready for a night of rock. The guy at the door checked my I.D., and motioned me through. “Only about 30,” I heard from behind me. “You think? 30?” Shit. Do I look that old? I’m even wearing Diesel jeans and a thrift store T-shirt. I’m dressed like the kids! I could be on Saddle Creek records! Yep, no doubt about it, though. Dude caught me, and even missed it by a year.
Once inside, however, I figured out what he was talking about. He and his buddy were estimating the attendance that night.
In the lobby of the Visulite sat an approximately 4X4-foot “Snagglecubit,” which, for all intents and purposes, was a sort of 3D version of the band’s logo, all lit up by spotlights. Evidently, the band was inspired by Led Zeppelin’s underrated Presence album, and wanted a large vague band statue of their own. I was pumped. Any band that makes their own album-cover art is cool by me.
After an excellent 80s-influenced art-punk set by The Scrubbies — and a bagpipe player! — Snagglepuss took the stage, clad in their usual Technicolor dreamcoats and Star Trek eye makeup. Strobe lights flickered! Smoke machines…smoked! Unfortunately, so did the guitar player’s amplifier, which had to be replaced. Singer Hope Nicholls and keyboardist John Morris kept the ever-growing crowd involved with jingles and jokes until a scab amp was borrowed from the openers. Thankfully, the little delay was quickly forgotten as soon as the band kicked into their patented drums-keys-sax-sax-trumpet-guitar-bass attack (Earth, Wind & Fire, eat your hearts out!). Unfortunately, I had to leave midway through the set to head back to The Steeple, in hopes of catching some burlesque action. Or at least last call.
People were standing on the pews when I got back to The Steeple, probably in hopes of catching a glimpse at the not-so-virgin Marys gyrating up there on the stage. Yes, this was not your grandfather’s burlesque. One gal came out with balloons on her breasts and hips, holding a picture of Joey Ramone and a big “I Love Joey” placard. As the Ramones plowed through one of their three-chords-and-a-cloud-of-dust classics, said gal proceeded to rip up the Joey placard, which got a few boos from the Ramones-friendly cloud. All was forgiven when she produced a pin and proceeded to deflate herself and (and probably inflate the boys in the front row).
Another girl came out dressed as a maid, sweeping and singing along with Radiohead’s early classic “Creep.” At the point in the song where Thom Yorke yelps “I wish I was special,” the forlorn broom- pusher ripped off her maid uniform, and was presented with a crown and a “Special” sash by her friends.
In classic Radiohead tradition, however, she was again sad by the end of the song.
This article appears in Aug 20-26, 2003.
