Give them credit for truth in advertising. The Taste of Charlotte Festival was held in downtown Charlotte last Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and, true to its moniker, gave folks just a taste of food in exchange for tokens, which one could purchase in $5, $10, and $20 “packages.” Five dollars got you six tokens, which this scribe used to purchase one pretty damn good roasted ear of corn and one rather mediocre arugula salad with bacon dressing (Ah…nothing says downtown Charlotte like mediocre food at high prices!). Much more entertaining was a climbing wall constructed near the corner of Trade and Tryon Streets, where parents happily persuaded their younguns to have a go at the mini Mt. Fuji. If the kids I saw were any indication, they might want to rename it the Wailing Wall, as more than a couple of kids suddenly remembered a fear of heights in mid-climb. However, an informal survey of the folks near me concluded that none of us adults had a big enough set of brass (insert genitalia of your choice) to even consider scaling the big wall. One imagines the beast seemed like a real Everest on Friday night, when high winds ripped through the glass and concrete expanse of uptown Charlotte, toppling tables and sending food and flyers everywhere. I ended up taking everything in on Saturday night, as Fest patrons were bleeding on my front stoop when I got home Friday evening. Usually when that happens, folks are selling something that’ll cost you a hell of a lot more than six tokens.
Earlier on Saturday, the comic book shop Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find held something called Free Comic Book Day, a nationwide event offered by comic dealers in conjunction with major comic book studios. As part of the event, Heroes hosted comics legend Paul Smith and some folks from upstart comics company Gaijin, and (you guessed it) handed out some free comic books. The store was packed with comics fans both young and old, and even a modest assortment of what some of the nerdier comics fans I hung with in my younger days might consider real mutants: girls. The day just happens to coincide with the release of the new X-men movie, as it did last year with a little flick about a guy that gets bit by a radioactive spider. Bitten by the bug myself, I picked up a copy of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, as well as a handful of free comics to peruse later. One of them, a sampler issue featuring the hilarious exploits of two characters called Milk and Cheese, featured the word “goddamn” on the first page. Immediately, a flood of thoughts entered my head. Should I call dork weatherman Mark Mathis over at Fox News Edge? They need to know about this. I mean, a kid could pick this up, right? It’s a comic book store! Everyone knows you can’t have a free paper and use profanity! Why, next the kids might start, oh, listening to rap music or something! They say that two things are certain — death and taxes. To that I’d like to add “it will rain at some point if you go to an outdoor music concert at the Penguin Drive-In.” A little unwieldy, perhaps, but no less true a maxim. This year, the Bird’s Cinco De Mayo celebration featured the bands Star Motor Company, Drat, The Dynamite Brothers, and Bruce Hazel and the Noise (a late add for Memphis Quick 50, who, some say, couldn’t make it due to, er, splitting up). Noticing a storm coming, I walked up Thomas Avenue to another establishment, thinking I would grab some grub in the meantime. Some 15 minutes later, I left, without so much as a chirp from the wait staff. This was repeated at two other establishments on the same street, so I decided to say the hell with it, and went to Wendy’s. Central Avenue is one of my absolute favorite sections of Charlotte, but, like NoDa, isn’t always prepared for the crowds of people who swarm it on weekends, and leave it near-barren during the week. Then again, how many times do you get to see something as happening as a free concert — with good bands — outside, in a cool neighborhood? Answer: nowhere near often enough. I’m willing to be patient. Growing pains are inevitable for this old dame, this section of town attempting to once again make her mark on cultural life in Charlotte. Considering her age, it’s a miracle she still grows at all.
This article appears in May 7-13, 2003.
