Too Much Information: A 21-year-old female reported that her 1993 black Lincoln town car had been stolen by a friend of a friend. She told police that the incident happened when she was at a party getting high.
The Scent of Crime: At a local discount store, a cashier called police to report the theft of two cans of Axe Body Spray. All the investigating officers need to do is sit back and watch for the band of women who will uncontrollably chase the irresistible criminals like hounds. Oh wait, this isn’t that lame commercial.
Get To Work: Two employees of a local store were hailed by a man in the parking lot who tried to engage them in conversation. They told him they didn’t have time to chat; they were late to work. The talkative suspect produced a firearm and chased them into the building. Hopefully, the two employees realized in hindsight that the man was helping them get to work faster.
Don’t Go To This Pool: The following is taken verbatim from a police report: “unknown suspect(s) pulled the fence area open at a gate and gained entry to the pool area. Once inside the pool area, the suspect(s) pried open the door to the snake room.” It is CL’s estimation that the author of the report intended to write “snack room.” Instead of pythons and cobras, the stolen items reported were “food and drinks.” But just in case, if you frequent public pools this summer, beware of an Indiana Jones-esque snake pit.
Which One Doesn’t Belong?: The following items were stolen from a house: a belt, two necklaces, two pairs of earrings, a wedding band and a bag of Werther’s Butterscotch candy.
Weapons of Mass Inebriation: A West Charlotte man reported another fellow had committed assault with a deadly weapon by hitting him in the mouth with a liquor bottle. He was wrong. A bottle of liquor is a yummy weapon.
Threat Of The Week: A 21-year-old female reported she was with a man who made the following cryptic threat: “I’m going to kill me somebody tonight.” The woman believes that this someone very well could be her.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.
This article appears in Jul 5-11, 2006.
