HEH HEH HE SAID “DEFECATE”: A man reported someone defecated on his welcoming mat around midnight. The case is still, um, open, but the victim was able to provide a suspect’s name.
AN E-POOP-DEMIC: A man told police an unknown person bent the lid on his mailbox and spread animal feces on his foot door. The door’s paint was damaged.
GONE POSTAL: A woman told police someone bent her mailbox door at night and tore some mail items to pieces. She didn’t know if any mail had been removed. Several other mailboxes were damaged. The incident occurred in a posh neighborhood — hope the suspects weren’t looking for beginning-of-the-month checks.
GRILLED OUT: A man told police that someone struck him in the face while he was going “to and from” his apartment and took $500, a 14-carat gold chain with a gold ring, and his gold front teeth. He was taken to Carolinas Medical Center for what appeared to be injuries on his face and ankle.
KILL YOUR TELEVISION: A woman told police a family member became upset when she removed his TV and Playstation as punishment. Sounds pretty tame, as punishments go, doesn’t it? But the woman’s family member apparently thought otherwise. He went to the woman’s bedroom and knocked her TV to the floor, breaking it. Then he proceeded to the family room and the kitchen, where he knocked two other TVs onto the floor, breaking them, too.
THREATS OF THE WEAK: “I’m going to beat your f***ing face till it bursts!” “I’m gonna whoop your ass.” “I’m gonna blow the building up.” “I’m gonna beat your ass. I’m gonna kill you. I’m gonna make your life a living hell!”
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.
This article appears in Apr 11-17, 2007.
