* Ambiguous: A suspect wandered onto a neighbor’s lawn to start something, but ended up only threatening to threaten her. “If you ever come to my house, I will threaten you,” the suspect said, shuffling onward.* Unambiguous: A man was threatened by another man, who stated, “I will get my gun and shoot you. If I see you on the street, I will run you over with my vehicle.” Just to make sure the victim understood, the man repeated himself. You can tell he meant it because he said “vehicle.” * A rough gang of juveniles, too many to count, entered a gas station at 11pm (way past their bedtimes) and made off with $15 worth of candy. * This ain’t no letter opener: A man asked another man to allow him the use of his cell phone. After he made the call, the man began to walk away with the other man’s cell phone in tow. When the owner asked for his phone, the thief let him know that he would be keeping the cell phone and that any attempts to retrieve it would result in stab wounds. Regardless of that threat, the man walked along with the thief, asking to get his phone back. The thief then pulled a knife from his pants and, pointing it at the man, began to chase him. The chase went on for about 1/10th of a mile before the thief gave it up. It took the rightful cell phone owner a further two days to run to the police station.* Unknown suspect(s) damaged a man’s car by throwing a large rock through the rear window, but, finding nothing of value inside, then decided to steal the man’s mail. The mail was valued at $1.* What security? At an airport security checkpoint, a man placed his cell phone onto the conveyor belt for screening purposes. While the man himself was being poked and prodded by security officials, his phone was either stolen or assimilated into the machine.* An abandoned double-wide mobile home was found burning at a country road intersection.* Two separate robberies occurred at the same bank branch. First, a CD burner was stolen. Two days later, the thief had figured out that a computer was a necessity when one wants to steal music, so he stole one.* This Bat’s For You: The police were called to a house near uptown in response to a dispute between two ladies over a man with whom both were having a relationship. The woman who called the police said the other woman was still at the scene, and was carrying a gun. The pistol-packin’ woman had called the first woman, telling her that she was outside the house, threatened to cut the woman’s face, and stated that she “had a bat for” the victim. The police arrived and arrested her.
This article appears in Oct 13-19, 2001.
