* A man called police after he discovered someone had swiped his new mountain bike from his front yard. By the time police arrived, the man had located his missing bike, which had been lying in the street a few houses down from his own. Apparently the guy didn’t learn a lesson the first time, for several hours later he put in another call to police to report that someone had stolen his bike once again from his front yard. The bike is still MIA.
* After spending a night out on the town, two highly intoxicated friends made it back to their apartment and continued the party out on their second-floor balcony. Following much hooting and hollering — which alerted and annoyed neighbors — one friend decided it would be fun to stand up on the balcony’s guardrail. It didn’t take long for gravity and alcohol to conspire, and the inebriated partygoer ending up doing a face plant in the bushes below. Although momentarily knocked unconscious, the man refused medical assistance.
* Suspecting a fellow mechanic of stealing his tools, a man threatened his co-worker by promising to “put his ass in the hospital.” Apparently the other mechanic didn’t take the threat very well, and a fight ensued. The combatants were separated by the time police arrived, and no charges were filed.
* A woman called police after she said her estranged boyfriend showed up at her house and started banging on the doors and windows demanding to see her. The boyfriend made a quick getaway when the woman told him she had called police. Although the rest of the evening went by without incident, when the woman went out to her car the next morning, she discovered two flat tires and several scratches on the hood.
* A distraught mom and dad called police after their son arrived home late, acting combative and drunk. When the young rebel’s parents began questioning him, he apparently became even more irate, and proceeded to punch a hole in the wall and smash a mirror. Police presence quickly made the young man rethink his actions, and the situation was diffused.
* A longstanding feud between neighbors reached the boiling point after one accused the other of throwing garbage in his yard. After trading insults and threats for several hours, one neighbor decided he had had enough, and tossed a rock through the other’s car windshield. Police arrived before any more foolishness could occur.
* A woman called police from her cell phone while driving down Interstate 77 after she said a man she had never seen before pulled alongside her and started giving her the old one-finger salute. The man continued to make obscene gestures for several miles when, just as suddenly he had appeared, he exited the interstate. The woman said she had no idea why the man was mad at her.
This article appears in Jan 12-18, 2002.
