YO MAMA: After saying something rude about his friend’s mother, one young man called police to report that he’d been stabbed in the arm with a butcher knife by the friend. Reportedly, the mayhem was caused by comments about a UPS truck and the mother in a brown dress.
GOOD GUYS FINISH LAST: When a stranger knocked on a man’s door, asking to use the bathroom, the kind man gladly obliged. When the stranger then asked for a glass of water, the kind fellow was just as helpful. Upon his return with the water, however, Mr. Congeniality discovered that the stranger had left the apartment after having stolen $40 that had been stuffed in shoes sitting next to the front door.
FINDING NEMO: Police responded to the scene of a burglary at a local school to discover that the only thing missing was a classroom aquarium.
CLEAN GETAWAY: Laundry day at one thief’s house took a turn for the worse when he had nothing to clean his clothes with. In an obviously desperate quest for cleanliness, the man decided to write a bad check for some bleach, liquid detergent, and fabric softener.
CHOCOHOLIC LOSES CONTROL: One woman’s desire for chocolate led to an arrest recently as she stole a box of the treats off a department store shelf and ate them before she left the store. Store officials are not expecting to recover the stolen merchandise.
THAT’LL TEACH HER: Depressed that the love of his life was leaving for the armed services, one man entered his girlfriend’s home, argued with her, then stole her phone and ran away. The loss of her phone prompted the woman to obtain a warrant for the man’s arrest.
IMPATIENT DRUNKS: The Sunday alcohol law was tested recently when a man and his wife went into a convenience store to buy beer. After being informed that they were too early, the man took the beer and smashed it on the ground. While they exited the store toward their car, they noticed the store clerk writing down their license plate number. They promptly re-entered the store and pummeled him.
STAND DOWNWIND: After testing a few colognes, a man decided that paying for a new smell was out of the question, so he put a few bottles in his pocket and walked out of the store. He was detained in the parking lot, presumably after authorities followed his scent.
POTHOLE FROM HELL: Charlotte has its fair share of potholes. One motorist met the biggest one of all recently when he and his luxury sedan dipped into a pothole the size of a manhole cover. It was, in fact, an uncovered manhole on a street that was under construction.
CAT SCRATCH FEVER: During an argument between two roommates, one of the roomies grabbed the other’s porcelain cat figurine and smashed it against the wall. With that, the owner of the figurine pushed her roommate. Not to be outdone by her previous feat, the second roommate grabbed the first roommate’s pet cat and began choking it. This prompted the cat lover to attack her roommate by punching, kicking, and yes, scratching her.
POOR FIDO: In another pet-related incident, a heated argument between a woman and a man prompted the man to later leave a threatening message on the woman’s answering machine, saying, “If you’re not careful I’m going to kick the crap out of you and your dog.”
SPEED DATING: An apparently lonely and none too suave man called a woman to tell her, “If you don’t go out with me, I will damage your windows and slash your tires.”
Blotter items are taken from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.
This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2003.
