hot cash: A man called to report a guest in his apartment stole $40 off the top of his microwave. Apparently the man does not live by the finders keepers maxim. The man who reported the robbery watched the suspect take the money and exit his apartment. He tried to call the suspect, but watched as the suspect turned off his phone.
jump around: A phone harasser called a man to tell him, “I want to meet you somewhere where I can jump you.” When the man decided not to set up a specific location where he could be jumped the phone harasser made the decision for him: “I’m coming to your cousin’s house. I’m going to bust out the windows and jump you.” He called three more times to cement the threat.
airplanes or shoes?: Three thugs pushed their way into a residence and expressed their urgent wish to speak with one of the residents. When informed the man was not present, one of the thugs stole a pair of Air Force Ones. The kicks were valued at $100.
I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up: A man of questionable balance was standing on a 6-foot ladder and shaking a pecan tree (never two activities that should be combined). The man was not satisfied with the amount of pecans he had shaken and stepped on a branch to get higher in the tree. The branch snapped and the victim fell. No injuries were reported.
I’ve Also Fallen and I can’t Get Up: An intoxicated man was asked to leave a residence because he was too inebriated. While staggering out of the residence the man fell down one story, landing on a window and causing it to shatter. The man got up but was disoriented (and still drunk), and he fell down a flight of stairs. The man was transferred to a hospital for non-life-threatening injuries.
Pants Stuffer: A man with a weak stomach and a light wallet walked into a Harris Teeter for some antacid relief. He took $175.29 worth of Pepcid, BC and Goodys and attempted to leave the store with the medicine down his pants. He was thwarted.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.
This article appears in Dec 21-27, 2005.
