“. . .It is my conviction that longer hair and other flamboyant affectations of appearance are nothing more than the male’s emergence from his drab camouflage into the gaudy plumage that is the birthright of his sex. There is a prevailing notion that elegant plumage and fine feathers are not proper for the male. But actually…that is the way things are in most species.” — From the musical Hair
You probably know the routine. You have 8pm reservations at the hottest new restaurant in town. You’ve looked forward to the meal all week, and to seeing the expression in your loved one’s eyes once the realization sets in that you are one thoughtful mate. However, it’s getting near the magical hour, and your better half is still nowhere near being ready. You check your watch. How many outfits can one person try on? How much hairspray can one person use? Who cares which style of sandals you wear? Can we go, already?
And they say women are just as bad.
Way back when, when science fiction writers tried to predict what the 21st Century would be like, flying cars were de rigueur, as were jet-packs and meals you ate by taking a pill. What Asimov and his ilk probably never envisioned, however, was a world in which men and women would fight not about whether or not dinner was ready after the man arrived home from work, but over whose turn it was to go to the Aveda store.
Who is this new breed of man? His natural habitat is usually an urban area, almost out of force of nature. He needs nightclubs to show off his fabulous self, after all — and places to shop, and a good gym, and his local man-spa. His sexuality may vary, but not the true object of his desire: himself. To boot, he’s long since been given a name, thanks to writer Mark Simpson: the “metrosexual.” The cheeky label has received a lot of press this year, thanks to a fashion feature in the New York Times, television shows like Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, and mentions in magazines as disparate as The Economist and People.
Mr. Metrosexual isn’t the only one palling around with Paul Mitchell, however. As with any new trend that crashes into our public consciousness, there is inevitably another wave to follow: that of The Followers.
You know The Followers. You have seen The Followers.
The Follower is usually somewhat handsome, and, as he spends so much time grooming, possibly vapid. He generally attracts the kind of gals (and/or guys) who want to accentuate their own good grooming and genetic stock by having him as arm candy. After the initial hookup, they don’t have to worry so much about having things in common, as new partners are always just a nightclub away. And with all the time spent working out and getting coiffed and watching reality TV and visiting a tanning bed, who has time to talk to their mate anyway? Besides, it’s time to go to a club, in hopes of one last — hopefully naked — workout (no doubt checking out their own bodies while they do it).
There are exceptions to our shameless stereotyping, of course. Some men, neither metrosexual nor Follower, come about their attractiveness naturally, and don’t need a whole lot of polish (see: The Sean Connery). Others have gobs of money, which, especially in the Charlotte dating game, is the ultimate airbrush (see: The Donald Trump). And, as always, there are those whose allure is indefinable (see: The Clay Aiken).
Three guys sit in a Tryon Street bar. All are putting back the brew at a breathless rate. Members of the opposite sex mill about. The men smile and punch arms, conspiring. They look at the guy beside them, and laugh. One imagines their conversation including the word “pantywaist.” “Excuse me, buddy,” one says, turning to the guy sitting at the bar by himself. Oh no… Here it comes! Duck!
“Hey…are those the new Diesel jeans?”
What has led all these narcissists to water? Some argue it’s the result of women shunning popular paradigms, simply preferring to live alone rather than settle for Joe Sixpack. As women in this Oprah-fied nation wrest control of their personal and professional affairs (and, finally, close the earning gap between themselves and their male counterparts), they’re also standing up for themselves when it comes to the kind of man they want to date. As women have gained more “independence,” the man who loves women must learn to adapt to her wants and needs — or else. That can mean understanding the way women behave, even if this so-called “understanding” of the female is as antiquated and stereotypical as the idea of the beer-swilling, Man Show-watching, football-betting American Male. Yes, instead of hopping into the local bar to swill massive amounts of beer and watch the Raiders take on the Chiefs, Today’s Charlotte Man now heads with his lady down to the local wine bar to hoist a glass of Riesling.
Granted, there are some that haven’t received the news. However, one look at our revivified downtown nightlife scene on a Friday or Saturday night sees more than a few revivified (and exfoliated, and moisturized) faces along with the new concrete and steel. Downtown Charlotte used to be “what are you looking at?” Now, it’s “why aren’t you looking at me?”
Local nightlife tastemakers say they’ve noticed a discernible visual change in male club attendees over the last year or so. Many of them, like Matt Bolick of Charlotte’s Liquid Lounge, point to the one-way mirror of the television as a key reason.
“I think that, on average, our male clientele are usually on top of what’s trendy fashion-wise,” Bolick says. “We have so many regulars who work in the fashion industry that it just seems natural that the guys know what’s going on dress- and grooming-wise. The opposite sex is and has always been a driving force behind good grooming, but it doesn’t hurt to currently have some great looking guys in Hollywood who have some style.”
“Two observations,” says Frank of The Steeple Lounge. “Guys that have more hair product going on than their female dates, and “straight’ guys that wax their eyebrows. Both of these are recent trends in the last couple of years, and I think the blame can be placed on the attempt to move male models into the same spotlight as the female supermodels. The irony is, I don’t think many women find either attractive.”
“It’s a combination of media and the opposite sex,” says Lesa Kastanas of Mythos. “Men began working out and defining their bodies and, possibly in response to women’s fashion trends, began to want to show off their “assets.’ Club culture is visual. Originality and extreme self-expression are always held in high regard. You can see a band in flip-flops and a T-shirt, but a nightclub suggests more illusion.”
“I think men have started dressing more like women,” says Christopher Healy of Charlotte’s Gin Mill. “Men are following trends now more than ever. The biggest trend is to dress like you’re not trying, but wearing a faded T-shirt with half of a number on it and hair spiked like “bedhead.’ It’s so overdone. We don’t have a dress code, but if we did, it would be for men: no hair gel, “new old T-shirts,’ no cowboy shirts and no spaghetti-strainer/fish net hats. They sucked when we were kids and they suck now.”
To The New York Times and some others, however, men aren’t doing all this primping and polishing to attract a mate, or because they saw a haircut they liked on Paradise Island. They’re doing it because they like to indulge themselves, and are confident enough in their masculinity to get a pedicure or an eyebrow shaping every now and again. They prefer a shaved chest to a hairy one, and don’t care who thinks otherwise.
“We feel this trend is based more on personal decisions rather than vanity issues,” says Shawn Johnson of Carmen! Carmen! Salon & Spa. “Both men and women are feeling more and more comfortable playing “seamless’ roles, and both parties are realizing that having “me’ time and taking care of yourself is beneficial to everyone in their surroundings. And as women have known for years, when you look exceptionally good, you feel exceptionally well.”
The old maxim that “you can’t judge a book by its cover?” Passe. As more and more health-conscious folks read the labels in Charlotte-area grocery stores, another type of label-reading goes on in area clubs. Yes, in order to get the opposite sex to check you out, you must first get Mr. Muscles manning the door to give your denim-clad derriere a nod. Wearing faux-weathered Diesels? You’re in. Wearing a similar pair of lived-in Levis? Forget it. It’s the illusion of authenticity we’re looking for here, not the real thing. Working for those rips and whiskers in your denim is so 1990s.
So where did this new “a-wearness” come from? Consider the “reality show.” The actors (er, “real folks”) on such programs use enough hairspray daily to rip the hole in the ozone layer a new one. And what about magazines like GQ and Details, and so-called “Lad Mags” like FHM and Maxim? Surely these magazines didn’t start multiplying overnight (and causing magazines like Rolling Stone and others to copy them) without some serious interest from advertisers seeking to reach a new demographic. Can a million Abercrombie and Fitch fans be wrong? Not to the cad with the lad mag.
And what about the influence of hugely popular shows like Queer Eye For the Straight Guy? Sure, a segment of that show’s viewership is homosexual, and another large chunk consists of women. However, television’s portrayal of gay men has come a long way since “Matt Fielding” played the resident homo on Melrose Place (This character, played by Doug Savant, was often referred to as DoorMatt by gay viewers). Yes, when money speaks, the suits don’t care so much about whose mouth is doing the talking.
Marian Salzman, global chief-strategy officer at the ad agency Euro RSCG Worldwide, and co-author of Buzz: Harness The Power of Influence and Create Demand and Next: Trends For The Future, says it’s a simple case of supply and demand. Salzman, who predicted the rise of 1970s fashion nostalgia a few years back (and who also coined the word “wigger” on The Oprah Winfrey Show, way back in 1992), says media images probably acted as a trigger to a demographic gun that was already somewhat loaded.
“(You’re seeing the trend of) metrosexuals because of gender convergence, and (the fact that) as women became more and more empowered, men have had to grab back some share of the “space’ women used to own,” Salzman says. “The media images of men these last few years have been terrible, basically forcing a man who cared about something besides tits, arse and sports to have to search deep for any on-camera role model, unless you count the toxic bachelor.” (“Toxic bachelor” is a term coined by Sex and the City creator Candace Bushnell to describe a selfish man who is insensitive and afraid of commitment.)
“Queer Eye probably accelerated because of the national mood, and because of the broad-based coverage of metrosexuality. But it’s chicken and egg — that is, a show on deck, and a viewing public ready to eat it up, no pun intended. Virtually all American products are gender neutral — in this day and age, men and women both drive cars, use high-speed computers, place phone calls, and wash their clothing. There are very few products other than tampons that are that “gender specific’ anymore. Even men’s t-shirts are women’s fashion accessories. And both genders buy condoms.”
Melinda Minton, Executive Director of The Spa Association (SPAA) and a consultant to hundreds of spas, thinks the trend has to do with a newly rekindled commitment to self-marketing.
“Men started becoming more concerned with their appearance in the late 70s to early 80s,” Minton says. “A big part of this was the push to compete in the business world. A “clean cut appearance’ began to mean a fresh haircut, a close shave and well-groomed nails. In fact, the well-groomed man became the image for the elite among corporate America. Advertising has had a lot to do with creating and then reinforcing that image.
“The latest SPAA study (The Spa Industry 2004 Report) shows that spas now draw a 23 percent male market. In the late 1980s spas saw less than 5 percent of their total business being generated from men. Furthermore, men are doing more at spas. In the early to mid-1990s, men would go to spas for a massage and the occasional manicure. Data from our past studies show that men are now requesting a variety of services including body contouring, manicures, pedicures and anti-aging facials. They are also purchasing a lot more retail product — sales of men’s skin care products alone in spas and department store venues are up by more than 60 percent in the year 2002 alone.”
Larry King, talk show host: One of our crack producers told me to ask you about metrosexuals. Now I’m asking you about something I have no idea what I’m asking.
Ryan Seacrest, well-coiffed host of American Idol: Metrosexual — you don’t read those articles?
King: These are people who dress up like they were gay but they’re not gay?
Way back when, folks used to say with some certainty that the state of California was going to fall into the sea. “Science said so,” they would say. “Serves them right, anyway. Modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah’s what it is.”
What has happened is just the opposite. With apologies to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, America has been on the receiving end of a full-fledged Californication for some time now. Just look around you. Cheerful banality? Check. Sex without substance? Check. Everybody as object, including men both young and old and little girls clad in barely-there “J-Lo for Kids?” Cha-ching, says the cash register.
Tom Ford, the black-clad wunderkind creative director at Gucci, said in a recent issue of Esquire that the 1970s are one of the single biggest influences he has as a designer. He says that the flowing haircuts, moustaches, and form-fitting clothing of that decade were hugely influential on his development as a designer. Such plumage was seen an expression of one’s personal freedom — sexual, political, or otherwise. Vietnam was finally over. Richard Nixon, beset by all sorts of scandals, was finally forced from office. Free of all that cultural detritus on the collective unconscious, folks began to take cues from the hedonism of the 60s — without, unfortunately, the political underpinnings that usually went along with it. People got dressed up because they wanted to get down.
To quote author S.E. Hinton — herself a molder of many young 70s minds — that was then, and this is now. You’d be forgiven for wondering, however, if what was then was also now. Think about it. With the skyrocketing sales of worn bellbottoms and tube tops and sandals and exfoliants, one could be forgiven for wondering if another gender revolution is starting. After all, we have our own questionable war and embattled president, and fuel prices are comparable to those suffered during Jimmy Carter’s presidency.
It’s probably natural, when you get down to it — if the whole world’s going to hell, why not look good while it’s happening? In today’s climate, after all, it all makes for good TV. Rolling blackouts? Weapons of mass destruction? Enron? No matter. Grab a gal, a guy, whatever your preference may be — tonight we gonna party like it’s 1979!
Experts say this is probably only the beginning. “We estimate the market will continue to grow as more spas create unisex themes, “male only areas’ and male-targeted menus and retail areas,” says Melinda Minton. “There are several spas now that only allow men. This trend, like many trends, has taken hold in larger urban areas but will be found more in more in suburbia and even rural America, as men are allowed to go to spa settings without feeling like it is a feminine choice or a taboo activity because of their gender.”
Marian Salzman concurs. “(I’m) not sure that anyone has put a dollar figure on what metrosexuality means, but we do know that the whole media mania over it has probably resulted in men being that much more confident when they dig into their pockets to purchase items that were once upon a time “feminine.'”
Which, when you get down to it, was probably the whole point. Men are being marketed to, and they’re buying into it — to, in turn, better market themselves to an employer, women, or other men. At the same time, however, a reshuffling of gender roles is happening — one the 70s only hinted at — and it’s anyone’s guess who will be left holding the cards.
Regardless, perhaps some of these newly minted peacocks are starting to see what it’s like to be held to the famed “beauty myth” that women have been held to for all these years. It’s not enough to know how to change your oil and your underwear. No, you now need an eyebrow waxing, some chest shaving, and a familiarity with at least 10 top fashion designers (not to mention a PalmPilot to help you keep up with everything). Anything else, as the deodorant commercial reminds us, would be uncivilized.
Yes, America, only one thing is powerful enough to change such long-held social mores in such a fashion, so completely, and so swiftly. It’s something called capitalism, and it’s spelled with a big “ol capital “Me.”
This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2003.
