That’s the name of the bar I was hanging out at last night, and will continue to hang out all weekend. It’s the bar at the National Tailgating League (NTL) in Bristol, Tenn. … and Virginia. The NTL is presented by Budweiser, but created by Todd Hirschfeld with HMS Worldwide. Now that tailgating has its own league, it is officially a sport — and the NTL is the Olympics of Cornhole.
There is Miss Sprint in NASCAR, and there’s Miss NTL… and I am proud to say that I am currently wearing the Cornhole crown. Hence the reason I am in Bristol. I’ll be introducing Craig Morgan on the Earnhart Campgrounds stage on Saturday before the race. In honor of his most popular song, I am going to introduce myself as an officer in the Redneck Yacht Club on Lake Norman.
Apparently, golf carts are a traffic violation in Bristol because I got pulled over in one. The cop did not pull us over in a car… nor did he track us down on a motorcycle, horse or segway… we got pulled over by a cop on foot. And although there was no alcohol involved, I was able to answer the question I posed in a previous article about golf tournaments… can you get a DUI on a golf cart. Yes, you can. Meanwhile, I got invited to the traditional NASCAR Hauler parade and I told them “I ain’t no holla back girl.”
Bristol was so crowded it was like playing a carnival game trying to get through all those people without running them over. So I invented a horn for a golf cart – and it’s more polite than the standard meep-meep horn. I just screamed “EXCUSE MEEP!” And it was effective, not only did people get the hell out of the way, but they smiled while doing so.
I always said NASCAR races are like Woodstock for rednecks… well apparently the cultures are colliding because there was a guy at the Port-A-Party rocking a mullet and jamming out on a guitar like a homeless hippie in San Francisco. I haven’t yet decided if the main entertainment at a NASCAR race is the actual race, or the fans.
The NTL Port-A-Party will be at the Budweiser tailgating tent at the Panthers game.
This article appears in Aug 18-25, 2009.
