Dear Karma Cleanser:
I consider myself to be a very safe driver. I always try to obey the rules of the road, and it really ticks me off when I see someone driving like a maniac, which is easy to spot in a city like ours.
Anyway, I have this habit of wishing ill will on people I consider to be bad drivers, something along the lines of, "I wish he'd get a flat," or "I wish he'd have an accident!" Anyway, I was on my way home last night, and it was pouring rain. One car in back of me did not have his lights on, which pisses me off, and then he began to drive in and out of different lanes to get one step ahead of everyone.
Well, I said it and the next moment he rear ended the car in front of him! I was pumping my fist and laughing that, finally, someone got my "wish." No real harm was done, but I was happy that that driver wasn't about to be going anywhere anytime soon.
Now at work today, everyone is saying that I shouldn't wish bad things on bad people as that will attract bad karma onto me. I've had my share of bad karma of late, I don't need any more. Am I a target now for the bad karma?
-- Wheel of Misfortune
We agree with your co-workers that the universe uses the old "I'm-rubber-and-you're-glue" principle -- the crap you wish on another most often splatters right back onto you. Thing is, if a driver is being a jerk on the road, they don't need your condemnation at all. As your story perfectly illustrates, recklessness always has its own rewards.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
Is there a polite but also karma-free way to tell someone they have chronic bad breath? I am a 30-year-old woman who lives with two younger male roommates, ages 21 and 20. (The rent is cheap, and I've known these guys for years.)
I sometimes feel like the "mother hen" in our house, but after a couple of years my roommates have learned to pick up their messes without me complaining and to keep quiet when I'm in bed. The problem is Dan, the younger guy, whose personal grooming habits remain questionable. He doesn't shave for days, showers only when he's trying to impress a girl and, most recently, has developed some killer Halitosis. I feel like if I tell him, he'll be crushed and act out (something we've seen happen in our house). Should I just slip him an anonymous note?
-- Gasping Girl
All actions have karma, and almost all 20-year-old straight guys need a woman's wisdom to save them from regressing to cavemen. Since his showering habits are tied to the mating ritual, you should frame your conversation in a similar context: "Sorry to break this to you, Danny, but your death breath is ruining your sex life. And your roommates' lives as well!"
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
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