Dear Karma Cleanser:
So I was trying to arrange a trip for my mother to fly to talk to her estranged sister. They haven’t talked for 20 years, and now my aunt wants to extend the olive branch. But the people in airline reservations were being difficult about me paying for a third-party passenger. (I guess they think that a 60-year-old woman flying from Tampa to LAX obviously reeks of “Sleeper Cell Terrorist,” but I digress.)
So the jerk on the phone said I couldn’t change the reservation and I’d have to have the passenger herself call and make and adjustments. I finally lost my temper and screamed, “The passenger can’t make the changes herself — she’s deaf!” This is, of course, not true. My mother has the full faculty of her hearing and then some. The jerk then agreed to change the reservation and all was good. Or so I thought.
When my mother heard about my fight with the airline, she was not happy. Now she says she doesn’t want to go on the trip, because she thinks this was a bad omen. I don’t want to just eat the $450 ticket. Is this bad karma for my little white lie or maybe God telling me to stop trying to be nice to my family members?
Fight or Flight
It’s neither. Sounds to us like your mom wants a way out of an awkward reunion. Since you paid for the ticket out of your own pocket, give her two choices: Go on the trip as planned, or reimburse you for the fare. We’re guessing she’ll hear you loud and clear.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
I’m in deep doo-doo. My boyfriend was helping me move into a new apartment, and we were cleaning out one of my closests. He found a box full of letters I’d exchanged with my ex-boyfriend over the years, which he thought was funny I’d kept. I snatched the box out of his hands and said that some things had to remain private. His feelings were hurt, but he let it pass.
Or so I thought. The next day, he asked how often I still communicate with my ex. I said once or twice a year. He said that was a probably a lie, because one of the letters was a birthday card for this year. And my birthday was last month.
I feel bad about lying and even worse about keeping secrets from someone I love. I actually talk to my ex often — like every day on the phone — and we exchange letters about twice a month. The thing is, he’s married now, and I’m in a relationship I don’t want to lose. How screwed up is this situation?
Post Office Mortem
Several questions. 1. Who uses the phrase “doo-doo” in adult life? How old are we, 10? 2. Does anyone really sends real letters anymore instead of e-mail? If so, kudos to you and your equally antiquated ex: It’s obvious you two are soul mates and should still be together, perhaps penning Didactic Verse love poems to each other by gaslight. Seriously, though. Stop lying and tell your current the whole messy truth. And please, no more “doo-doo.”
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Dec 14-20, 2005.
