Wednesday, September 30, 2009

If you're on your honeymoon and your husband is asking about your friends. . .

Posted By on Wed, Sep 30, 2009 at 11:33 AM

click to enlarge honeymoon-guide

Something in the water doesn't compute here -- my apologies to Prince.

A good friend of mine was in a wedding this past weekend. The bride was a frienemy she's known since high school. Since they're not very close, my friend -- we'll call her S-- was asked to be a hostess. She agreed for two reasons, she wanted to see who the bride was marrying and she wanted to see the dress. Here's a little known fact about women, we will pretend to be your friend so that we can talk about you among our "real" friends. Especially on your wedding day.

So, S did her hosting duties and said the wedding wasn't much to see and the groom looked as if he wanted to be some place else. Since no one really knew this guy, S had a lot of unanswered questions. That's why she e-mailed the bride and asked how was she enjoying the married life.

The bride, who is on her honeymoon, responded to the e-mail. Red flag number one.Though I've never been married, I would hope that your honeymoon is a time to unplug and have as much condom free sex as your body will allow. After all, one of the benefits of being married is the raw skin to skin feel of sex--right?

But I digress.

The email thanked S for her gift and all of the help that she provided during the wedding. Then the bride says, 'my husband thinks we should hang out more.'

Huge red flag. Why in the hell are talking about your wife's friends on your honeymoon? Again, non-condom sex should be going on. If your marriage is built to last, you have the rest of your life to get to know your wife's friends -- right? Then again, he could be testing his wife to see if her girlfriends are down for a threesome, which isn't something that should be discussed on the honeymoon either.

Here's hoping this marriage lasts and they were just bored after a lot of sex.

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