Monday, September 13, 2010

Football can put a damper on your sex life ... Don't let it happen

Posted By on Mon, Sep 13, 2010 at 1:39 PM

click to enlarge lingerie-football-league-try-outs

If your mate is a Carolina Panthers' fan, you are in for a long season of whining and crying. Did you happen to see that New York beatdown the Panthers got on Sunday?

And then there's fantasy football.

For years, sex has been believed to be the number one thought on people's minds daily; however, this survey offers a new look at what's currently on the mind of many of today's men. The online survey of men age 22 and over showed that more than 40 percent of respondents rate Fantasy Football as their number one thought during the day, as compared to only 30% who say that thinking about sex still remains as their top daily thought.

What?  Shocking. But have no fear, you can be supportive of your mate without turning into a Football Widow or having to fake loving the game as much as he does. (Trust me, if your mate is cheering for the Panthers, there won't be too many good Sundays this year.)

Start with halftime: If your mate's team is losing, give them a quickie to bring up his or her spirits. Halftime is about 15 to 30 minutes. Make sure you two are alone or if you're up for some adventure, take him/her in the bathroom while your friends moan and groan at the highlights of other games. They won't hear what you two are doing.

Keep in mind, most sports fans believe what they do when their team wins a game, they have to do it every week. That's why he or she wears that same jersey every Sunday and doesn't wash it for 16 weeks. So, if your mate's team comes back after halftime and wins, get ready to bend over in the bathroom or on the sofa for the next 16 to 18 weeks.

Next: Watch the score. If your mate's team is down by 30 in the third quarter, chances are, they're not coming back and your mate is on the verge of a hissy fit. But just because his or her team isn't scoring, it doesn't mean he or she has to be a loser. Give him or her some head. If you're doing it right, the game will become an after thought. If your mate gets tickets to a game, don't be like these two.

Finally: If your mate's team wins, you're going to be treated to the shortest session of sex in your life. Just be prepared for it. Three hours of screaming and cheering can wear anyone out.

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