Last Wednesday night and through Thursday, I kept getting prompts on Facebook from folks to see if I was OK because apparently I was in a designated problem area. For a couple days following the shooting of Keith Lamont Scott, my city joined a list of others that had been deemed worthy of a Facebook check-in due to horrible earthquakes and terror attacks.
Folks wanted to know if I was OK, but truthfully I was not — and I was not alone. I saw many folks hurting and grieving over the most recent set of black men to be killed, and the resulting unrest sparked a new hash-tag: “Pray for Charlotte.”
Pray for Charlotte, indeed.
I got a message from a former student, a conscious young brother named Develon who wanted to check up on me after all that he had seen on the news. It was a simple but powerful gesture of support, much needed between two black men weary from negotiating a culture where it seemed to be open season on black lives.
I reached out for support online and asked for discernment in preparation for this column. Many folks responded but there was one voice, Ms. Martha, a seasoned, sassy white ex co-worker that captured a sincere spirit of healing with the simple statement, “I’m praying for you Charles.” She was not “Praying for Charlotte,” but praying specifically for someone she knew, like most of us do, who is in immediate need of prayer and is especially struggling with the challenges in seeking social justice.
For some, these recent events came as a shock to residents who claim that such chaos could only happen in other places — certainly not here in the shadow of banking towers, under Carolina blue skies.
Many are sharing #PrayForCharlotte because they wonder, how could such hate and violence come to their fair city? Therein lies the rub, because depending on who you talk to, the anger, hate and discontent have always been here in Charlotte. I grew up southern, so I am aware of our mutant ability to smile, swap sugar and “bless your heart” into a false sense of normalcy and content. Each syrupy exchange, however, can be laced with a cold, biting dose of unspoken truths.
Pray for Charlotte.
Although I have reservations when it comes to the sincerity of some religious institutions, I did grow up in a Baptist church so I do have some context when one asks for prayer. This is why I felt the call to action from some to #PrayForCharlotte to be disingenuous, or at least broad in scope.
You see, these are the same folks who drug Kaepernick through the mud for exercising his constitutional right to a peaceful protest when he began taking a knee during the national anthem. Yet they are absolutely mute when black men are killed, their deaths streamed on loop in the media. The problem lies in that folks are more upset about how folks are protesting than why they are protesting.
Growing up in a black Baptist church, when sister Jones was struggling with the cancer (in black churches it is “the cancer”), she asked for prayer, which set off a chain reaction. An old deacon would get off the pew, get down on bended knee, start with a “Father God we come,” take out his handkerchief and began to pray in earnest to and for the person that needed healing. He didn’t ask to pray for Mercy Hospital or the folks at the American Cancer Society. No, he started with the one that was in immediate need of prayer: sister Jones.
Some folks won’t or can’t see the people who are hurting. I’m not saying there are not folks in Ballantyne, Dilworth or Myers Park that need prayer, but right now we have some brown folks on the corridors of Beatties Ford Road, Central Avenue and Freedom Drive that need help now.
Why? Because we have not historically addressed racial profiling and the brutalization of black bodies and spirits by authority figures in this city. These actions now yield the united voices of disenfranchised folks and their allies who represent the sister Joneses of our community, standing in the immediate need of prayer.
If you really want to #PrayforCharlotte, you have to get uncomfortable, and I don’t mean getting down on one knee. Get out of your circle, check in with a brown neighbor or colleague, reach out to those hurting the most — the victims of historical and systemic violence — and pray sincerely.
Sweat stained handkerchief and gospel choir optional.
This article appears in Sep 28 – Oct 5, 2016.
High praise for this article from a former student of yours Charles. In any circumstance such as this I, like many others, can become distant due to the actions not happening directly to me or people like me, a white male in America. But what you said about how Martha was praying specifically for someone she knew(You) that could be affected or even is affected by the current circumstances of the country, I am brought to a familiar place. Now I don’t love all black people, nor do I love all white people or any other people because I simply don’t know them all. But knowing I have several brown and black friends whom I love like brothers, I am hit with a realization that I need to pray and put out a helping hand for not only them, but people alike.
Racism, institutionalized or personal, tends to become a reflection of how we see a certain group people. And that often times becomes null when we grow close to individuals. That’s been the case with me. I know some great black and brown individuals and that to me is enough to know that no group is all this or that: black or white. Cheers!
-Will Brooks
Perfect in many ways, Charles. I, too, become silent, not knowing whether my words are even wanted or accepted. I have been remiss with my friends but I am still here, listening, watching, and learning. I strive to have an open mind and heart, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are all God’s creation. Ms. Miller is, as always, timely and wise.
Your words are always so poignant…Through your transparency and honesty, I feel you and I’ve made a commitment to myself to not become desensitized, but continue to feel every emotions that is evoked. I appreciate and honor your words.
@Will Brooks You have always been kind of an old soul man…smile. Those are some very valid observations you share and folks should take note. It starts with how we participate in the system and reaching out and checking on those that you care about is important. Thank you for sharing.
@Marty I know we try to support in our spirits but in a time where so much is coming at us it is in those very times some basic old fashioned rich communication is needed so that we do not misinterpret silence as being dismissive rather than I belive some are just being pensive. Even if it is to say I do not know what to say but I see you and I care. Your heart always comes from an honest place my friend. Thank you for sharing.
@SincerelySchan Thank you so much and I am very honored to have you as a fellow words smith now in my creative circle. Thank you for sharing.
Uh huh.
Sister Jones and that old deacon have me wanting to know if we should be expecting any others for comfort outside of those who look like the primary suffers.
I cannot help wondering how similar what we see today is to what took place centuries ago when people of color were being killed and there would be the same abiding silence. I think silence meant more than the absence of basic human cordialities then and I surmise it means more amid the noisy stillness today.
Perhaps we have been too difficult to reach, get in touch with, to contact. Perhaps we have not offered that we would like others folk to look in, see how we are doing. Perhaps we have not done a good job conveying that just because there have been nearly 200 African Americans killed this year –a great many unarmed –that it is okay if others who do not look like the victims and are openly aghast and outraged to come by and let us know. Sister Jones and old deacon usually donโt take too long with their petitions. Other looking folk are welcomed to follow them at our house or worship. Oh, if welcomed, we would gladly go to their churches as well.
Perhaps, just perhaps, we need to be, like these mounting killings, in plain view.
Something like:
โAmerica, you are most welcome and encouraged to join African American and others in prayer and expressions of loving care during this time of deep abiding anguish, sorrow, and distress that has witnessed scores of unprovoked African American deaths and killings. We would be most thankful for your prayers of healing and recovery for us and for our whole nation. We know as one indivisible nation under God this would be exemplary of our collective citizenship.
โAnd as we make this formal, we accept that you may not be free to join us until after you have comforted the offending police departments and law enforcement agencies or completed honoring our nationโs promise with a stoic hand over heart, stand-at-attention national anthem recognition. That is fine. What matters most is that you know you are welcome to still come by and see how we are doing. Forgive any previous oversight.โ
There.
Itโs done.
Maybe that is all we need to make Sister Jones and Old deacons exemplary offerings more multicultural….
My favorite column of yours ever! This is real truth. For so much of Charlotte, the vitriol is against protesters, not police brutality; the care if for property, not lives. Call it out and keep going. The time has passed for trying to educate or convince others of our humanity. There much more urgent need to protect ourselves and our rights deserves our energy.
Brilliant article as usual Charles!
Yes, the #PrayForCharlotte is generic & impersonal, and (in my opinion) only floated by local news outlets AFTER the first night of protest (on the first night it was #CharlotteProtest). On the second (and following) days, local news media started floating #PrayForCharlotte and #OneCharlotte when they were reprimanded by Pat McCory (who I am hoping will soon be the Former Governor of North Carolina) for continuing to elevate the situation with their local & social media coverage. And Yes, the Facebook prompt was completely annoying, as if we were under some โterrorist attackโ rather than citizens utilizing their rights. (I shared a few written words to Facebook about that as well).
Hereโs the thing though: Social Media is a generic, impersonal, and a non-compassionate form of communication, and it is incumbent upon those that truly care about us (friends, familyโฆetc) to reach out personally to see: โhow we are truly doing.โ This exact same thing happened in Milwaukee, WI in August (where my sister lives) and I called her, just as she called me last week because I live in Charlotte. BUTโฆguess who Did Not reach out to me personally (nor did I them): The โso-calledโ professionally assimilated and โacceptedโ Black men and women (that I know) that work at great jobs with Bank of America, Wells Fargo, Duke Energy, TIAA-CREF, Carolina Health, etc. You know why we did not personally contact each other (and still havenโt) โฆitโs because we know that NONE of us were down there protesting.
You see, we (the โprofessional blacksโ) have deemed Ourselves as the โspecial black peopleโ because we are college educated with good jobs, and we are not about to join a protest with โthoseโ black people. Because weโve worked too hard to not be perceived as โthose black people,โ โฆwe are different. You see, we โdifferent/special Blacksโ have the distinct, โmutant ability to smile, swap sugar and “bless your heart” into a false sense of normalcy and content. Each syrupy exchange, however, can be laced with a cold, biting dose of unspoken truths.โ -Charles Easley.
We disassociate Ourselves from โthe blacksโ (and โtheirโ issues) that live in disenfranchised communities like Beatties Ford Road, Central Avenue and Freedom Drive: Because we (โdifferent/special Blacksโ) now live in Ballantyne, Dilworth and/or Myers Park, and we โwear a special cape over our bodies that disguise all the prejudice that comes with our skin color.โ You see, we (โdifferent/special Blacksโ) just wait for liberal-hearted White People to stand up for those โother blacksโ that we disassociate from. The only role we (โdifferent/special Blacksโ) have to play now is to Tweet and/or Facebook the arbitrary sentiment of, โPraying for Yaโll.โ (#PrayForCharlotte). (I hope you get my satirical point ๏ and the capitalizations are on purpose).
As for Kaepernick, I would like to know what well-thought out RESULTS he initially wanted from his National protest (besides all the attention he is receiving)?? I would also like to know what civil rights activism that he has been ACTIVELY a part of before he decided to โtake a knee??โ Was his entire point that; โAmerica disrespects Blacks, so I am going to disrespect America?…
A great Biblical Proverb as quoted by Philosopher-Friedrich Nietzsche: โBeware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster…โ
Again, brilliant article as usual Charles! And I am going to stop writing now before I write an entire book on your blog! Lol!
@Tony Tony Stark OMG please can the sister with the big hat and formal voice read your note during the church announcements right after letting people know that the young adult singles ministry will now meet in the other building since the couple that facilitates it is going through a messy divorce….lol Thank you as always for your insight and cultural tone.
@Emine Wright Yes diva it is sad that folks care more about broken windows more than broken bodies and spirits. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.