By Brooke Edge
Thanks to the wonderment of sharing movie trailers (and other YouTube fun) via Facebook, I was alerted to the presence of a film called The Bike King and the Ten Commandments. This masterpiece is either coming to a theater near you, or is available via mail order DVD – its Web site was a little unclear on this matter. But I think the trailer will be enough for most people to decide Bike King is a strong contender for one of the Top 10 Worst Movies Ever Made.
To sum up: It looks like The Jungle Book meets that video of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown being baptized in the Holy Land meets The Giving Tree meets a Lifetime Movie of the Week meets really creepy, low-budget eyeball animation meets a really bad blond dye job on a dude meets the world’s greatest mix CD from heaven (what? God hasn’t upgraded to flash drives yet?) meets some random BMX movie meets a G-rated From Here to Eternity meets Easy Rider.
Just … wow…
This article appears in May 19-26, 2009.
