Hey, what if Harold Camping is right? The 89-year-old radio evangelist says the world will end tomorrow, starting with a stupendous earthquake at 6 p.m. New Zealand time. The destruction, says Camping, will then extend around the planet, zapping each time zone at exactly 6 p.m. That’s when “all true believers are to be raptured to be forever with Christ” and nonbelievers will be left behind to suffer the agonies of the end of the world, which probably includes having rectal boils and locusts in your ears and so forth. Granted, Camping is probably wrong. He was wrong about the same thing in 1994, after all, and even Tim LaHaye, the co-author of those godawful Left Behind rapture novels, reacted to Camping’s prediction, by telling Time magazine, “It’s amazing to me that people would follow this guy.”
But again, assume for a minute that Camping is the all-time champion example of a blind pig finding his acorn, and he’s actually right. What do you do until the mayhem starts? Obviously it’s too late for much of a bucket list, but here are a few suggestions to choose from for your final Friday and Saturday activities (Saturday options may not be available after 6 p.m.)
• Are you young and in love with someone who’s in love with you? Hey, you don’t need me to tell you what you should be doing.
• Find a restaurant that still serves old-school, sauce-and-butter-heavy French cuisine, and dive in. Heck, if you have time, go to Paris and do it.
• Find the worst boss you ever had and knock his/her teeth out.
• Go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and touch the Van Gogh works’ thick, bumpy gobs of paint.
• Quit worrying about matching your socks.
• Take a helicopter ride through the Grand Canyon. Pee out of the helicopter.
• Waterboard an investment banker.
• Fly to Boston and watch the Red Sox play the Chicago Cubs.
• Dance wherever you go and whenever you feel like it.
• Personally, I’ve already asked the fundamentalist nutjob on the street behind us (If you think I’m being unkind, consider what you would think if a neighbor created a sign showing Jesus holding a “Don’t tread on me” flag?) . . . Where was I? Oh yeah, I’ve already asked the guy if I can have all his stuff when the rapture comes, and even though he says he doesn’t believe Camping, you never really know, do you?
• Whatever you do, make it a good one since it may be your last chance. Maybe, just maybe, though, we’ll see you again on Monday.
This article appears in May 17-23, 2011.
Interesting to know he had made similar attempt in 1994. The question is can’t he learn from his prophetic or mathematical falsehood. What Biblical backing does his whatever have. He might have even gone to the moon to collect or collate data for his prediction for all i care. While Jesus was on Earth, he stressed neither he nor the angels in heaven know when the son of man shall come. . . Except the Father. Then who is this mortal to put the whole world under undue panic. If he confident in his prediction, he should tell the world before hand that if the whatever fails to come trough he would commit suicide or spend the rest of his in jail in apology to the whole world. Frankly, speaking if this man has nothing reasonable to talk about, he should take time to take care of flowers or count the strings of hair on his own chest. Mcheeeew.
its finaly happend……..peoples lost there mind
I like the idea of peeing in the Grand Canyon! Especially from a helicopter!
Hell, let’s all go rob a bank, if you beleive that nut!
Look at the bright side, tomorrow the Christian Right will vanish… poof… gone!
No it will Not, if you will read matthew 24:36 it say’s that no one knows the time or hour that god will come. not even the angels in heaven or his son jesus christ knows when. only god the creater of this universe. the bible also tells us that there will be rumors like this, but there are signs and warnings that the end is near but we should all live everyday like its the last by making sure our hearts are ready cause god knows and looks at our hearts so i’am going to prepare myself for the comming of the lord with the help of the holy spirit that i welcome in my life amen. heaven there will be no more tears or sorrows we will walk the streets of gold god is so great and has been wonderful to me jeramiah 29:11 i know the plans i have for you declares the lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you planes to give you hope and a future. john 3:16 for god so loved the world that he gave is only begotten son so that whoever believes in him will not parish but have ever lasting life. well thanks for reading hope this helped you god bless you.:-) plz copy and post to others. ps god will come like a theft in the night meaning unexpected. also god didnt create us to have fear or to be confused but to have peace and a sound mind..plz no rude comments thank you so much…gby and your family..
i think this guy is wrong saying when the world will end only god knows its just a rumor maybe even the work of the devil iam a christian gotta believe the bible not him.
This man is what keeps Christians like me a bad name and make it harder for us to stand up for our own rights. When he started all of this other Christians have had to endure a lot of criticism. Don’t let this one quack dictate to everyone that all of us are like him.
All I can say is this. I cant wait till every last ignorant religious group off themselves for their delusional insecurities because they can not ever think for themselves causing trouble for the rest of the people on this planet that KNOW’s that fanatics will just die in the end realizing that all human life is subjected to the abysmal forces of afterlife. There is no higher spirit and it states that in their own bible. The religious point of view is, if it cant be explained then something has to be out there and its invisible to the human heart. Well I believe thats delusional. For people to say that an end is coming is proposturous in many fathomless thoughtless outcomes. Bring nothing but chaos since the very beginning of their religion.The only way to stop such ignorance is to either do two things for the people of earth to outgrow such disturbances. That is to either ban all religions and by doing that will make this earth a safer place to live or by just euthanize the religious fanatics so disturbances of human life like this will ever happen again and therefore never again reverting to the dark ages where the religious fanatics were in control and made the world a far evil place of human nature. Lets move past this. Become an atheist and live life to the fullest having every desire to become better then what you were. Which is thinking only of yourself and your ways making life miserable. Dam i hate you religious drama queens. STOP THE DRAMA FREAKS. Yes the true freaaks of nature are YOU and YOU ~points to the christains for their imprudent and upthemselves way of life~ That means YOUUUU!!! The real freaks.
If i was rich as that fart knocker I would use my money for better use. Like I would use it to make the world a better place. Try hard core parties every night. Then when im wanting to be serious, I will pay people to go and off those retards. You know the whole story of survival of the fittest. Its a certain believe that religion is dying. Why not help it die quicker by just getting rid of these people that just cause trouble to the way of life. Just like Obama did to Osama Bin Ladin. The president himself stated as this of fact. “Go and find Bin landin and kill him. NO remorse, NO trial. Just off him for disrupting the flow of life for people who cares about living. The same sould go for this religious nut quacks. Because Bin Ladin…. Was a serious religious nut quack. We should euthanize all religious nut quacks and make it a priority. Because this American “”Is”” <-- (double quoted) an american Bin Ladin
I want to offer my personal congratulations to poster Brandon Westbrook, above, who managed to write a 7-word post, and misspelled 5 of them. Way to go, Brandon!