When it is over, it’s over

Here’s a rule to follow, ladies and gentlemen, when the relationship is over, it’s done. It’s a wrap — especially if you’re the one who ended it.

I have two friends who are dealing with their ex wives — women who ended the marriage but now that these men have moved on want them back.

Hello, ladies, you packed his shit and told him to get out. Maybe you should’ve thought about it years ago, you know before the ink dried on the divorce papers. But you didn’t. Now muster up some dignity and leave these men alone.

If you still loved him, you wouldn’t have filed for divorce. You wouldn’t have placed his clothes outside the door and told him that you wanted to be in control of your life, searching for a fairy tale that isn’t going to happen.

Is it that you don’t want to see him happy without you? Would things be better if you’d found that fairy tale? Oh, I get it — he’s supposed to mourn the loss of your marriage forever. Well, darling, that’s not going to happen and you need to learn better coping skills with the decision that you made.

So if you’re a man or a woman having problems dealing with divorce, here’s a web site for you to visit. Please get some help!

This article appears in Jul 28 – Aug 4, 2009.