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In the future, Griffin believes, partnered gay people will raise children together from the child's birth, less frequently raising children fractured by a coming-out and eventual divorce. With earlier identification, the days of the oops-honey-I'm-gay marriage and divorce seem to be numbered. Griffin feels gays and lesbians will be more and more likely to choose parenthood, "and be more free to do so, and more inspired to do so. There are role models now. Barriers to parenthood are being removed."
As gay couples together raise children from birth, and as gay-parented families are more mainstreamed, Griffin thinks that both heterosexual relationships and accompanying gender stereotypes could be transformed.
"The heterosexual world can learn a lot from [the example of] a flexible enough partnership that you can make up new rules to suit the two of you, rather than use the predefined roles of marriage. When you enter into a same-sex relationship, there are fewer gender-role expectations. . .It's much more likely to be a consciously chosen set of decisions that the couple makes. When children see that as their role model, they see that. . .growing up to be a woman doesn't necessarily mean that you are the one who cooks and cleans and does laundry and takes care of the kids. Or that growing up to be a man doesn't necessarily mean that you are the one who works and brings home the paycheck and mows the lawn and takes out the garbage."
Recent research and medical opinion seem to indicate that gay-parented children show significant differences from children raised in mother/father households: daughters of lesbians have higher self-esteem than daughters of straight women, and lesbian-raised sons are more caring and less aggressive.
Griffin thinks gay parents are uniquely positioned in society as agents of change in societal attitudes. "There is a handful of gay parents at any given school. And if those parents [are] visible to their children's friends, their children's friends grow up not having been in a gay family, but having seen that gay families can be happy and normal and do the things that every other family does. These kids may raise their own children differently, with a greater acceptance of different types of families.
Research on gay parents and their children is limited and does not yet express a body of decisive evidence, and, due to gay parents' fear of being outed and losing their kids, is still relatively scarce. But the inarguable day-to-day reality of present-day society is that gay and lesbian people are birthing, fostering, adopting, and raising children. Is the long-term well-being of those children best served by the parents' ability to conform to the heterosexual behavior model, or by the parents' ability to create a loving and nurturing home? As more gay parents allow clinicians the data they need to conduct studies, a clearer answer to this question will emerge.
Meanwhile, Beverly Mitzel and Sonja Austin have put in a request for another foster child.
This year's OutCharlotte festival will include a workshop called "The New Family: Parenting 101 for Queers," facilitated by Dr. Lisa Griffin. The workshop will be held on Saturday October 5, from from 2:30 to 4pm at the Carole A. Hoefener Center at 610 E. 7th Street. Children ages 10 and up can attend a simultaneous breakout session, facilitated by Rev. Mick Hinson of the Metropolitan Community Church, in which they can share their strategies for living in alternative families. Admission is free.
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Calendar
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Wine & Paint @ Blackfinn Ameripub- Ballantyne
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Face to Face Foundation Gala @ The Revelry North End
- Fri., April 19, 6-10 p.m.
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An Evening With Phil Rosenthal Of "Somebody Feed Phil" @ Knight Theater
- Fri., April 19, 7 p.m.
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Kountry Wayne: The King Of Hearts Tour @ Ovens Auditorium
- Fri., April 19, 7:30 p.m.
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Queen Charlotte Fair @ Route 29 Pavilion
- Through April 22, 4-11 p.m.
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Esports in Charlotte Takes Off: A Guide to Virtual Competitions and Betting
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Canuck in the Queen City 7
A Canadian transplant looks back at her first year as a Charlotte resident
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Lewis family launches Twelve In Twelve 1
The nonprofit hopes to raise money for 12 organizations around the world and encourage 'voluntourism'
