Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Puke in My Mouth, a response to Jizz in My Pants

Posted By on Tue, May 12, 2009 at 4:38 PM

Ms. Taken, a company that makes fake diamond rings for ladies to wear to fend of puke-inducing men, has an official You Tube video. Here is their response to Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg's SNL "Jizz in My Pants" song. It reminds me of an expression my friend and I used to use -- "PIMM!" (which stands for Puke In My Mouth).

And here are the lyrics for your enjoyment:

Douchebags all across the club

Ladies' night straight poppin' the bub

Stalker eyes right above his drink

Cheese-dick style, with a shoot and wink

Snatch the ring from its hiding place

Flip the bird right in your face

Leave the bar, to escape your glance

Cross the room, now its time to dance

You sneak behind, don't mind, I guess

Until your dance on my cocktail dress

Cold as ice, yet you advance

And say you might, jizz in your pants

and I PUKE IN MY MOUTH

Swallow it back, I need some room

Plus I said I've got a groom

I turn away, you start to pout

AND I PUKE IN MY MOUTH

You ruined my night, esophagus hurts,

Take a hint, I'm not here to flirt

Round up the girls, its time bounce

Now I'll go brush my teeth

I'm 15 late for my Yoga class

Kick through the door, now I'm up in that ass

Find a spot, last in the room

Focus, breathe, now its time to ohhhhmmmm

Thats when I noticed this guy behind me

Quite a big smell from a guy so tiny

Pit-stained T-shirt drenched in sweat

O-face grin, bad as it gets

He made a grunt, then his body turned

Saw up his shorts to his inner-thigh perm

AND I PUKED IN MY MOUTH

Upside-down, so it's even worse

Son of Shiva, what a curly curse

Help me please, I could use a towel cause I

PUKED IN MY MOUTH

Why are there dudes up in Yoga class?

Nonchalant, looking at my chest

Please stop staring when I'm on my knees

Plus bearded men shouldn't wear capris

Last week, I was on a site

As I recall, it was a Facebook site

In my bed with a piece of toast

Checked my wall and saw your post and I

PUKE IN MY MOUTH

Soaking in the tub like a f***ing queen

Need to relax, need to feel the steam

A bubble comes up that reminds me of you and I

PUKE IN MY MOUTH

The next day, I put on jeans and PUKED IN MY MOUTH

I opened the fridge and a fruit rolled out, I PUKED IN MY MOUTH

When I saw Tom Cruise in Valkyrie I PUKED IN MY MOUTH

I drank a Kombucha and I PUKED IN MY MOUTH

I just felt PUKE IN MY MOUTH

I puke right in my mouth, every time you're next to me

And when you spit your game, it's like a train wreck to me

You're such a royal douche, I don't know why you step to me

Forget a rubber, you should go get a vasectomy

PUKE IN MY MOUTH...

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