NEW RELEASES
AROUND THE BEND Product placement in a summer or holiday blockbuster is nothing new, but what on earth compelled Kentucky Fried Chicken to partner with writer-director Jordan Roberts for his low-budget debut feature? It certainly wasn’t to attach itself to a quality flick — on the contrary, this family drama is sooo dull and dreary that KFC might want to brace itself for plummeting stocks. Michael Caine, going through the motions, plays an old codger who divides his 20 minutes of screen time between regaling his grandson (Josh Charles) and great-grandson (Jonah Bobo) with homespun homilies and hiding the boners he gets whenever his Danish nurse (Glenne Headly) enters the room. He then drops dead at the local KFC around the time that his long lost son, who’s been cooling his heels behind bars, makes a sudden reappearance; this black sheep is played by Christopher Walken, sporting the same shock-hair that seemed more appropriate for his role in Sleepy Hollow. At any rate, in a posthumous attempt to bring the family back together, the old man has left a will that instructs the three surviving generations to stop at various KFCs on their way to spreading his ashes all over the landscape. Well-intentioned but not even remotely involving, Around the Bend leaves plenty of time for either dozing or daydreaming. My moment of inspiration during my frequent mental drifts: Given the plotline, how about a KFC promotion in which their chicken is sold in a bucket that’s shaped like an urn? *1/2
SAW In this age of cookie cutter thrillers, here’s one that, for better or worse (or a bit of both), stands apart from the pack. Most moviegoers didn’t want to spend even two minutes discussing the imbecilic likes of Taking Lives or Twisted, yet they’ll be endlessly jawboning after seeing this grisly serial killer opus that clearly aspires to be the next Seven. Two men, a doctor (Cary Elwes) and a photographer (Leigh Whannell, who co-wrote the script with director James Wan), wake up to find themselves shackled to the plumbing in an abandoned building’s bathroom. Realizing that they’re the prisoners of a notorious serial killer who’s fond of playing mind games with his victims, they decide to work together in an attempt to outsmart their captor. But their suspicions of each other’s motives — as well as the specific guidelines laid out by their torturer — work against their success, and the involvement of an emotionally scarred detective (Danny Glover) doesn’t seem likely to help them in any manner. As director, Wan needs to trust his instincts more — the rapid-speed camerawork and choppy editing occasionally on display prove to be pointless and distracting — and as writer, he and Whannell could have taken more care to plug up some gaping plot holes. Yet the unique setting adds some intrigue, and the twist ending should jolt the majority of moviegoers right out of their seats. **1/2
CURRENT RELEASES
THE FINAL CUT Robin Williams continues his exploration of the dark side of human nature in this sci-fi saga that’s set at a point when microchips installed in individuals serve to record their entire lives. Williams plays Alan Hakman, whose job as a “cutter” requires him to go through the memories of recently deceased people, edit out the sins, and present loving montages that can be screened at funerals. But the stakes are raised when it turns out that his latest job involves a slimeball whose chip is sought by those who will stop at nothing to obtain it. For a movie that often feels like it’s cobbled together from pieces of Minority Report, Blade Runner and other futuristic odysseys, this one’s weirdly engrossing, and so in thrall with its own big ideas that the occasional plotholes can easily be overlooked. ***
THE FORGOTTEN Slumming Julianne Moore stars as a woman who, after mourning the death of her son for 14 months, is suddenly told that she never had a child and that he existed only within her own delusional mind. What begins as an unsettling psychological thriller eventually morphs into a sci-fi curio that becomes less intriguing as it plays out. Certainly, this was one way to go, but scripter Gerald DiPego (whose past exercises in gloppy metaphysics include Phenomenon and Angel Eyes) never plays fair, changing the rules based squarely on the demands of his storyline. Director Joseph Ruben manages to stage some genuinely creepy moments here and there, but they’re squandered in a movie that ultimately drowns itself in an ocean of inconsistency. **
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS A true-life yarn that was dubbed by Sports Illustrated as “one of the greatest sports stories of all time” has now been turned into one of the dullest sports films of recent years. Peter Berg has adapted his cousin H.G. Bissinger’s acclaimed novel but in the process stripped it of any complexity, leaving only a generic pigskin tale. Set in 1988, the story unfolds in the small Texas town of Odessa, where practically every resident is glued to the fortunes of the local high school team. An underlying theme is that this cracker town’s obsession with football is an unhealthy one, yet Berg skirts around this important issue simply so he can spend more time on motivational speeches and gridiron heroics — in other words, the same-old same-old. **
I HEART HUCKABEES Or, Being Charlie Kaufman, as writer-director David O. Russell tries to expand the parameters of mainstream cinema as much as the scripter of Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yet while Russell’s movie doesn’t quite capture the freewheeling dementia of Kaufman’s output, it’s still a noteworthy effort, with enough engaging hi-jinks — not to mention a high-wattage cast — to distract us from the frequent fuzziness of its psychobabble involving a young man’s (Jason Schwartzman) search for the meaning of life. The passion with which the characters rail against their unbearable lightness of being is inspiring, and the uniformly fine cast (Dustin Hoffman, Naomi Watts, Jude Law, among others) provides shadings that otherwise might not have been there. ***
LADDER 49 It was probably inevitable — perhaps even desirable — for a post-9/11 movie to be made that celebrated firemen, but did it have to be as dull as this one? If there’s an original moment in this tedious (if earnest) drama, I must have been rubbing my eyes for a nanosecond and missed it; instead, director Jay Russell and writer Lewis Colick have managed to cram just about every overused melodramatic device into this one picture. In an effort to elevate these men (played by, among others, Joaquin Phoenix and John Travolta) to the level of heroes, Colick has stripped them of most traits, in effect leaving us with a roomful of cardboard characters in a threadbare film so desperate for material that it actually includes a karaoke scene and at least two musical montages. *1/2
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES The seeds of social change are planted early on within Ernesto “Che” Guevara in this uncomplicated biopic that examines an early incident in the life of the iconic revolutionary. Because it focuses exclusively on a particular journey that the young Ernesto (Gael Garcia Bernal) takes across South America — whereupon he witnesses the suffering of others firsthand — the movie plays more like a humanist fable about one individual’s consciousness-raising than it does as a portrait of the controversial warrior-martyr. While this may smack some as a play-it-safe ploy by Salles, it also frees the picture from the shackles of expectation and allows it to blossom as a heartfe lt paean to a formidable continent and its proud people. ***
SHALL WE DANCE Dogged by a malaise that won’t go away, a lawyer (Richard Gere) is lured by the mere presence of a dance instructor (Jennifer Lopez) to sign up for ballroom dance lessons. She quickly makes it clear that she’s not romantically interested, yet it doesn’t matter because he soon realizes that it’s the hoofing — and not the fantasy of a younger woman — that has revitalized his lust for life. This is the Hollywood remake of a wonderful art-house hit from Japan, yet it turns out that the 1997 original isn’t its worst enemy. Instead, the sabotage comes from within, with Lopez so monotonous that they could have cast a blow-up doll in her role and few would have noticed. What elevates this slight film is the exemplary work by Susan Sarandon, who provides the emotional connection as Gere’s in-the-dark wife. **1/2
SHARK TALE Forget the Finding Nemo comparisons: On its own, this animated dud still only qualifies as so much cinematic chum. Will Smith provides the voice for Oscar, a hip-hopping fish whose dreams of success are realized once he’s mistaken for a courageous shark-slayer; he’s aided in his efforts at duplicity by Lenny (Jack Black), an out-of-the-closet shark running away from a mob family that doesn’t accept his alternative lifestyle. Shark Tale is all about getting jiggy with pop culture references, with much of the weak humor coming from riffs on famous products, famous songs and famous people (amazingly, today’s two biggest media whores aren’t on hand under the monikers Larry King Mackerel and Stingray Leno). A few clever sight gags pop up now and then, but for the most part, this one smells fishy from the start. **
SHAUN OF THE DEAD No mere splatterfest, this cheeky UK import turns out to be a horror film, a romantic comedy, and a social satire all rolled into one. Shaun (played by co-scripter Simon Pegg), normally found getting drunk at the pub, snaps into action when a zombie epidemic suddenly hits town. If George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead was able to draw a correlation between modern suburbanites and the post-apocalyptic zombies — both of whom spend their time mindlessly wandering through malls — then Shaun equals that feat by presenting its humans as zombies-in-training, aimless people who shuffle through life with no ambitions, no skills and no awareness of the world around them. The film includes the expected in-jokes, yet the comedy quotient makes this more accessible to general audiences than most zombie flicks. ***
SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW A large-scale achievement that’s both retro and futuristic, Sky Captain features cutting-edge technology in the service of a storyline that harkens back to the days of Flash Gordon. While the actors are flesh-and-blood — or, in the case of Angelina Jolie, fleshy-and-bloody-hot — practically everything around them was created on computers by debuting writer-director Kerry Conran. I wish that Conran’s script (and his attendant direction) exhibited a bit more pizzazz, but it’s serviceable enough, with heroic Sky Captain (Jude Law) and spunky reporter Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow) trying to uncover a labyrinthine plot. From German Expressionism to screwball comedy, from The Wizard of Oz to Raiders of the Lost Ark, Conran’s influences often make this seem like the fever dream of a hopeless film buff — it may be derivative, but it’s never dull. ***
TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone attempt to offend everyone with this film that’s cast entirely with marionettes. The title outfit — super-macho warriors willing to destroy the world in order to stop the terrorist threat (there goes the Eiffel Tower; there go the pyramids) — is a Republican president’s wet dream, as is the notion of depicting liberal Hollywood actors like Tim Robbins and Alec Baldwin as anti-American stooges who suffer gruesome deaths for opposing our valiant heroes. Juvenile? Sure. Funny? Certainly — though not nearly as often as one might reasonably expect from these guys. The comic highlights are punched across at regular intervals, but once the novelty of the puppets wears off, the movie has trouble sustaining its length — or its level of outrageousness. **1/2
This article appears in Oct 27 – Nov 1, 2004.
