Wanted: Country outlaws

Remember in those old westerns back in the day when there used to be these really kick ass outlaws? The town would have these “WANTED!” posters all over town offering big rewards for those out-of-control rogue’s whereabouts. Remember that?

Well, I think it’s time to bring back the “WANTED!” posters, because there aren’t any outlaws left. They have somehow gone extinct right under our noses… Like the Dodo bird, but way cooler. And more badass. Let me explain.

Back in the not-so-distant past, there was a group of cooler-than-cool real men who sang songs everyone thought about, but were too afraid to admit it. Songs about drinkin’, women, drugs, rednecks and the government (and how crappy “The Man” was). Stories of workin’ hard for a dollar, from sun up to sun down, and still having time to get drunk and raise some hell. Guys like Johnny Cash, Willie, Wayland and Merle. Kris Kristofferson, Charlie Daniels, and Hank (Jr. and Sr.). Back when country music was real. Those days are long gone.

Nowadays, we’ve got pop stars in cowboy boots trying to act like tough guys. We used to have the Man in Black. Now, we just have metrosexuals with flat-ironed hair, designer jeans and perfectly grown scruff – for that “rugged” look. Usually, you have someone from the “new” generation take the torch from the “old” generation and carry the flame into the future. Let’s just say somebody missed the hand off.

Let’s look at the current country music landscape and see who can pick-up where our outlaw legends left off. Kenny’s too busy trying to be Jimmy Buffett. Tim’s too busy trying to be Mr. Faith Hill. Toby’s mailed in the last three or four albums and does Ford commercials. Brooks and Dunn are hanging it up. Montgomery Gentry (who had a legit shot at taking the Outlaw genre to the next level) have seemingly lost interest. Alan, George (Strait that is) and Garth were never really the outlaw type. That leaves all the newbies, who all fall in the category of pretty boy, not outlaw. Nobody ever accused Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson or Wayland Jennings of being pretty.

Nothing used to be more fun (and still is for that matter) than sitting out back, or at a tailgate before the game/race/concert, or driving down the road with the windows down listening to a little outlaw country and knowing that somebody out there just got it and said all the things we wanted to say – more or less at least.

I like country music, not trying to bash it, let’s just say I miss the good ol’ days. I find myself more and more tuning into Outlaw Country on satellite radio reminiscing about the good times.

So, let’s get those “WANTED!” signs posted ASAP. Maybe if we offer a big enough reward, somebody might just ride into town, dressed in all black and save us.

This article appears in Oct 13-20, 2009.