Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (May 16)

Feel the burn: Police responded to a vandalism call last week in west Charlotte after a man got too heated during an argument. The 22-year-old victim told police that the suspect came into her home through a rear window and tried to take a television that he said belonged to him. The woman and three men forced the suspect outside, but he wasn’t finished. He picked up a barbecue grill that was being used at the time and threw it through the window he had already broken, burning much of the couch and carpet. The man was arrested while trying to escape.

Special Delivery: A man was arrested last week after he allegedly brought too much extra luggage back from vacation. Police found $8,000 worth of cocaine and $2,000 worth of weed in a package they say he sent from California to North Carolina. The man had been traveling in California and apparently tried to ship the package to his home in east Charlotte before returning.

Piss off: Two men were arrested for trespassing on Independence Boulevard last week when their version of passing the time didn’t mesh with the law. The men allegedly decided it would be a good idea to climb a billboard. Once there, they urinated onto the parking lot below and threw rocks and other items, smashing a car’s windshield.

Killculus: Long gone are the days when spelling “boobies” on a calculator was enough to make kids giggle. At Olympic High School last week, a student handed a teacher a calculator with a message stating that he had a gun.

Dickheads: A woman working at an apartment complex in south Charlotte was surprised when a man tried to give her the wrong type of deposit. She said the man came into the front office of the complex and showed her his genitalia before running out. Elsewhere, a neighborhood management company was embarrassed to see that some vandals had spray painted penises all over the brick wall surrounding their courtyard.

The Ol’ Switcheroo: Police responded to a crash in the University area last week and found a woman driver shaken up after trying to avoid a deer, she said. As the police were wrapping up their work, a witness walked up and told them that the woman did not crash the car. The witness said someone else crashed the car and shortly after, the woman that police found on the scene showed up and let the suspect leave in the car she had arrived in.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.