Last weekend’s release of Ridley Scott’s big-budget epic Kingdom of Heaven unofficially marked the beginning of the summer movie season. But it won’t be until the May 19 release of a certain sci-fi spectacle that we can declare the season officially under way.
Although the first two installments in George Lucas’ newest trilogy failed to meet most expectations, it’s clear that Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith is still the Big Ticket offering for the summer of 2005. But it’s hardly the only movie arriving with sky-high expectations: for starters, there’s a bold attempt to reenergize the dormant Batman franchise, an effort to kick off another Fantastic superhero series, and a stab by Spielberg and Cruise to surpass the success of their previous collaboration. The Bad News Bears, Herbie the Love Bug and Jane Fonda all return to the screen after years in storage, and the usual gang of smart alecks (Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Martin Lawrence) are back with their latest comedic efforts.
Forty-two films are scheduled to open nationally between now and the end of August. But rather than rely on studio press releases to provide you with the scoop on each one, CL is turning to a different source: the theatrical trailers. At present, trailers for 36 of the 42 flicks are available online, and what better way to get a feel for the films than through the mishmash of scene snippets whose function is to lure moviegoers into the theaters? (A designation of “TNA” — Trailer Not Available — is included for those six titles not yet blessed with their own Coming Attractions promo.)
Aficionados of alternative fare need not worry: Several independent and foreign releases have been earmarked for this summer, and while many of these limited releases may not reach Charlotte before September (if at all), we’ve included a checklist of 12 of the titles to whet those appetites.
And now, on with the sneaks…
MAY 13
KICKING AND SCREAMING
The kids do the kicking while Will Ferrell handles the screaming in this comedy about a dork of a dad who decides to coach a misfit boys’ soccer team. This places him in direct conflict with his own father (Robert Duvall), who happens to coach the best team in the league. There’s an undeniable pleasure in seeing Ferrell smacked with soccer ball after soccer ball — and Duvall is one of those I-could-watch-him-reading-the-phonebook actors — but the preview hints at a sizable supporting role for the odious Mike Ditka, the former Chicago Bears coach who’s taking a break from playing himself in obnoxious TV commercials to, well, playing himself in a movie.
MINDHUNTERS
Mindhunters has been playing across Europe since spring 2004, and after several abortive release dates for the US, Miramax has decided to finally toss it out there. Clearly a high-tech variation on Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians, this dumps a group of FBI recruits on an isolated island, where it’s soon revealed that one of them is a killer. (See review in this issue’s Film section.)
MONSTER IN LAW
So Jennifer Lopez wants to marry Michael Vartan, but his mom Jane Fonda will do anything to disrupt the planned nuptials. The preview is surprisingly laugh-free, but maybe I was just distracted by the fact that PETA is (rightfully) waging an all-out war against Lopez for her love of animal furs. At any rate, the movie’s now in the bag — see the Film section for a review, as well as an interview with Fonda.
UNLEASHED
Though it’s no match for Shirley MacLaine following her Oscar turn in Terms of Endearment with Cannonball Run II, it’s odd to see Million Dollar Baby winner Morgan Freeman turning up in a Jet Li action flick. Yet the trailer suggests that Jet is attempting to work up an acting lather himself, playing an orphan who’s been raised like a dog by gangster Bob Hoskins — docile when collared, deadly when unleashed. Freeman co-stars as a blind pianist (no, not Ray Charles).
MAY 19
STAR WARS: EPISODE III — REVENGE OF THE SITH
George Lucas has spent the last three years yammering about how this final chapter in the second trilogy will be the darkest entry yet — and the trailer leads one to believe he’s on the level. Those of us who are fans of the original trilogy are holding out hope that this one won’t disappoint, and it’s quite possible we’ll get our wish. It’ll all depend on which is the dominant, uh, force: The lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (Hayden Christensen) or Christensen’s attempts to convincingly mouth Lucas’ often clumsy prose.
MAY 27
MADAGASCAR
Never mind the trailer: DreamWorks screened the first 40 minutes of the film to the media (including local scribes), and it’s safe to say this will be another huge hit for the studio behind Shrek. The plot centers around four pampered zoo animals — lion (Ben Stiller), zebra (Chris Rock), hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) and giraffe (David Schwimmer) — who suddenly find themselves stranded in the wilds. The opening act’s scene stealers are a team of humorless penguins; I’ll be disappointed if they don’t return in the second half.
THE LONGEST YARD
When I first heard about this one late last year — “Adam Sandler and Chris Rock in a remake of the popular Burt Reynolds football-in-prison comedy” — it sounded like a no-brainer for a guaranteed $100 million hit. I’ll stand by that diagnosis, though the preview isn’t nearly as funny as I had imagined it would be. Maybe instead of cramming all the good parts into the trailer, they’re saving them for the movie? Incidentally, Reynolds has a supporting role in this new version.
JUNE 1
THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS
A prime example of summer counter-programming, this adaptation of a best-selling book centers on four teenage girls (Alexis Bledel, Amber Tamblyn, America Ferrera and Blake Lively) who stay in touch one summer by passing around the same pair of jeans among themselves. Cute premise, appealing kids, easy-to-swallow life lessons — the Unleashed crowd won’t be caught dead at this one, but it should satisfy its target audience.
JUNE 3
CINDERELLA MAN
Ron Howard has lately become the poster boy for everything that’s wrong with mainstream Hollywood, but hey, I happen to like A Beautiful Mind, Apollo 13 and a few other of his films (and how can anybody not dig Night Shift?). Having said that, the trailer for his latest picture, about Depression-era boxer Jim Braddock, is pretty snoozy, wrapped in an air of self-importance and making even vibrant performers like Russell Crowe and Renee Zellweger look somnambular. Plus, the timing couldn’t be worse for a boxing picture: You know Howard must be cursing Clint Eastwood for releasing the critical and commercial hit Million Dollar Baby a mere half-year before his flick. Still, it’s hard to bet against this crew, and after the usual high-volume summer fodder, a quiet period piece might be just what the doctor ordered.
HIGH TENSION
Despite the inclusion of some critical blurbs declaring it “Brilliant!” and “Terrifying!,” it’s hard to get a feel from the trailer as to what makes this slasher flick different from the rest. The footage shows a young woman evading a hook-wielding killer inside a friend’s house before lapsing into the usual rapid-fire edits that render the rest of the preview impenetrable.
LORDS OF DOGTOWN
If you missed the acclaimed documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys, here’s the fictional version of the true-life tale about a group of California kids who became media darlings in the mid-70s thanks to their skateboarding prowess in empty swimming pools. The trailer features Heath Ledger (briefly) on the screen and classic rock tunes on the soundtrack.
JUNE 10
THE ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL
A lonely boy discovers that his imaginary superhero friends are actually real in director Robert Rodriguez’s second film to be presented in 3-D (following Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over). The trailer states “From The Director Of Spy Kids“; it would have been funnier if it read, “From The Director Of Sin City,” as Rodriguez (who moves with ease between kiddie and grownup fare) made both.
THE BAD NEWS BEARS
Instead of Walter Matthau and Tatum O’Neal, we get Billy Bob Thornton and a bunch of nondescript tykes in a remake of the family favorite about a struggling kids’ baseball team and their drunken coach. This version looks more coarse and less funny than the charming original; most of its thunder will probably get stolen anyway by the similar Kicking and Screaming, which opens a month earlier.
MR. AND MRS. SMITH
The gossip rags’ favorite movie of the summer finds Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as hired killers whose identities are secret even to each other. Watching the trailer, I wasn’t thinking about whether Angelina really drove a rift in the marriage of Brad and Jen as much as I was thinking how similar this sounds to Prizzi’s Honor. But I’m actually looking forward to this one — and not just because the stars are easy on the eyes.
JUNE 15
BATMAN BEGINS
I went to town on this one, scoping out the TV spot, the teaser trailer and two different full-length previews. This is full of possibilities, though it’s going to be hard to top Tim Burton’s vision of Gotham City and its most famous crime fighter. The stars have certainly turned out: beyond Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne and his alter ego, Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine all appear to make sizable contributions as our hero’s allies. It’s a shame that director Joel Schumacher and star George Clooney ran the last series into the ground, but based on these moody previews, Memento‘s Chris Nolan just might prove to be skilled at resuscitation.
JUNE 17
THE HONEYMOONERS
As I watched Cedric the Entertainer (as Ralph Kramden) and Mike Epps (as Ed Norton) slog their way through labored slapstick and lame repartee, I realized there’s absolutely no reason this should be called The Honeymooners except as an obvious ploy to wrest dollars away from moviegoers duped into thinking this might actually bear some similarity to the classic TV series. To the moon? More like to the morgue.
HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE
Despite distributor Disney’s lackluster promotional efforts, Hayao Miyazaki’s masterful Spirited Away managed to win the Best Animated Feature Academy Award, so the studio is being more supportive this time around. After a one-week limited engagement, plans are to go wider with the director’s latest effort, a typically magical odyssey about a young girl who needs help from various odd creatures to break a witch’s spell that’s been cast upon her.
THE PERFECT MAN
If you’re willing to overlook the obligatory dance scene, the obligatory gay caricature and the obligatory sappy speech, there might be something left to enjoy in this comedy about a teenager (Hilary Duff) who’s so embarrassed by her single mom’s (Heather Locklear) efforts to land a guy that she ends up inventing Mr. Right.
JUNE 22
HERBIE: FULLY LOADED
Lindsey Lohan plays the new owner of the Little Volkswagen That Could in this Disney release aimed at kids who won’t mind the shoddy special effects.
JUNE 24
BEWITCHED
Someone was thinking outside the box on this one: Instead of a straight adaptation of the vintage TV sitcom, this centers on a popular actor (Will Ferrell) who picks an unknown (Nicole Kidman) to be his co-star on a new TV version of Bewitched. Of course, what he doesn’t know is that the woman he chose to play a witch is actually a witch in real life. Alas, the gags featured in the trailer aren’t as fresh as the premise, though it’s nice to see Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine hovering in the background. As long as it’s better than Kidman’s ill-advised update of The Stepford Wives, I’ll be reasonably satisfied.
GEORGE ROMERO’S LAND OF THE DEAD
Even giving Romero his due as the man who made the seminal Night of the Living Dead, the trailer indicates that there’s nothing new under the sun — excuse me, moon — more so since the last couple of years have seen the releases of no less than three successful zombie flicks (28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead and Shaun of the Dead). On the other hand, none of them had a nattily attired Dennis Hopper muttering, “Zombies, man… they creep me out.”
JUNE 29
WAR OF THE WORLDS
Pretty exciting stuff — H.G. Wells, meet Steven Spielberg. Those who enjoyed the it-blowed-up-real-good thrills of Independence Day should take to this, while those who appreciated the unexpected complexities in Minority Report, the previous Spielberg-Tom Cruise collaboration, can hope for something beyond grade-A special effects. Third-billed Tim Robbins is conspicuously missing from the trailer, but Cruise musters enough intensity for everyone.
JULY 1
REBOUND
The bad attitude of a successful college basketball coach (Martin Lawrence) gets him banned for life on the collegiate level, so he accepts a job coaching a group of high school misfits. And yes, he actually says, “No matter what the scoreboard says, you’re winners.” Could be painless, but definitely for those who like their movies surprise-free.
JULY 8
DARK WATER
As far as Americanized versions of Japanese horror flicks go, this one’s got me more psyched than either The Ring or The Grudge simply because it stars (hubba hubba) Jennifer Connelly as a woman who moves into a haunted apartment. And what’s up with John C. Reilly, a schlub whose screen wives have included Julianne Moore, Renee Zellweger, Jennifer Aniston and now Connelly? The guy’s a fine actor, but when did he also become a matinee idol?
FANTASTIC FOUR
It’s about time the Marvel Comics classic made it to the big screen, but did the trailer have to be so chaotic and cluttered? (The international trailer, minus the blaring rock score, is marginally better.) And aside from Michael Chiklis as The Thing, it’s hard to get too excited with the rest of the casting (Jessica Alba?). But those who’ve waited up to 40 years for this movie won’t be dissuaded — just try keeping them out of the theaters on opening weekend.
JULY 15
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Is it just me, or does Johnny Depp’s Willy Wonka look like Michael Jackson? Moving beyond that creepy subtext, what we have here is a trailer that promises the movie itself will be the most wigged out piece of entertainment this summer. Will this be a worthy albeit darker remake of the venerable Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or will it be another Toys? Given the track records of both director Tim Burton and Depp, I’m banking on the former.
WEDDING CRASHERS
This summer’s dum-dum comedy casts Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn as two womanizers whose m.o. of scoring with the bridesmaids hits a snag when they both hook up with women who won’t let them get away so easily. In terms of laughs, let’s hope this is closer to Dodgeball than Anchorman.
JULY 22
THE ISLAND
You wouldn’t necessarily know it from the trailer, but this thriller tackles the hot-button issue of cloning. Of course, with hack director Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor, Armageddon) at the helm, it’s hard to say how deeply it will delve, but the preview nevertheless works as a down payment on a slick piece of entertainment. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson are the leads, backed by the dependable likes of Djimon Hounsou and Steve Buscemi.
JULY 29
THE BROTHERS GRIMM
TNA. The siblings (played by Matt Damon and Heath Ledger) known for their fairy tales run afoul of real sorcerers in this feature directed by the always interesting Terry Gilliam.
MUST LOVE DOGS
This film about a couple who meet through an Internet dating service could be the season’s premiere date movie — then again, how many times has that been stated about past John Cusack comedies that failed to live up to their box office potential? Still, Cusack and Diane Lane sound like an irresistible pairing, and while the trailer doesn’t suggest anything groundbreaking, this could be just the item for sunburnt couples seeking a reprieve from the sun.
SKY HIGH
TNA. Plugged as a live-action The Incredibles, this family film finds Will Stronghold (Michael Angarano), the son of superheroes The Commander (Kurt Russell) and Jetstream (Kelly Preston), attending a high school exclusively designed for teens learning to cope with their powers.
STEALTH
Three US Navy pilots (Josh Charles, Jessica Biel and Jamie Foxx) find their job security at risk when a super-plane that operates on its own threatens to turn manned jets obsolete. But when the plane starts making its own decisions (most involving humankind’s death and destruction), it’s up to the flyboys (and flygirl) to save the day. Sure, it’s absurd, but the charismatic leads and some sharp dialogue featured in the trailer suggest that this one might surprise.
AUGUST 5
THE DUKES OF HAZZARD
TNA. The movie I’m least looking forward to this summer would have to be this adaptation of the inexplicably popular redneck comedy that aired on TV in the early 80s. In this version, Johnny Knoxville, Seann William Scott and Jessica Simpson play Luke, Bo and Daisy respectively, with Burt Reynolds cast as the corrupt Boss Hogg. God help us.
THE PINK PANTHER
Alan Arkin, Roberto Benigni and Ted Wass all attempted to play various members of the Clouseau clan in a trio of flops; now, Steve Martin tries to fill Peter Sellers’ shoes in this update in which the bumbling Inspector Jacques Clouseau continually frustrates Chief Inspector Dreyfus (Kevin Kline) while attempting to locate the stolen title jewel. The funniest actor in the trailer is neither Martin nor Kline but French veteran Jean Reno as Clouseau’s put-upon sidekick.
AUGUST 12
DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO
Deuce (Rob Schneider) heads for Holland, where his studly duties require him to dress up like a baby and toss a dwarf through a window. I wasn’t a fan of Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, so I regret that I was unable to locate the magic in this trailer.
THE DEVIL’S REJECTS
Because it’s not cited in the chaotic trailer, only diehard horror fans who read up on their Fangoria will know that this is the sequel to Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses. Then again, I don’t imagine that the Herbie: Fully Loaded crowd would care to know.
FOUR BROTHERS
TNA. Four siblings team up to avenge the death of their father. John Singleton (2 Fast 2 Furious) directs; Mark Wahlberg and Tyrese Gibson head the cast.
THE SKELETON KEY
This has the potential for giggles galore, as Kate Hudson moves into a haunted house while John Hurt overacts from his death bed and Gena Rowlands flutters all over the set. The trailer says this is from the writer of the American remake of The Ring, helpfully omitting that he’s also responsible for such junk as Reindeer Games and The Ring Two.
AUGUST 19
THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN
TNA. Steve Carell, Jim Carrey’s adversary in Bruce Almighty, plays the title character, a nerd desperately seeking sex; Catherine Keener, currently in The Interpreter, plays his new girlfriend, who dates him only on the condition that they not do the nasty.
RED EYE
The trailer cleverly makes this look like a standard romance in which a young woman (The Notebook‘s Rachel McAdams) meets an intriguing stranger (Cillian Murphy) while they’re waiting for the same flight; only in the final seconds is it revealed to be a thriller. Might be worth a look; I’d feel more comfortable if Wes Craven wasn’t such a terrible director.
VALIANT
TNA. Ewan McGregor, Tim Curry and John Cleese are among those lending their vocals to this Disney animated effort about a plucky but undersized pigeon who dreams of joining the Royal Homing Pigeon Service during World War II.
AUGUST 26
THE CAVE
Alien in a cave; what else is there to say?
INDEPENDENT’S DAY
A notorious (and notoriously raunchy) vaudeville joke is at the center of THE ARISTOCRATS, as over 100 comedians (everyone from Chris Rock to Fred Willard) offer their own unique version of the hoary gag whose punchline is “The Aristocrats!”… Yet another documentary that focuses on the splendor of the world’s oceans, DEEP BLUE, narrated by Pierce Brosnan, promises viewers some never-before-seen underwater footage… George W. Bush’s close and personal friend Kenneth Lay is the star of ENRON: THE SMARTEST GUYS IN THE ROOM, a documentary (based on the best-selling book) that relates the whole sordid story behind the rise and collapse of a company whose corrupt leadership irrevocably damaged the lives of countless ordinary Americans… HUSTLE & FLOW arguably generated the most buzz at Sundance this year; it stars Terrence Howard as a pimp who finds success as a rapper… The LADIES IN LAVENDER are Dames Judi Dench and Maggie Smith, cast as sisters who come to the aid of a stranger (Daniel Bruhl) who has washed up on the beach next to their seaside home… Schoolkids in New York City learn the pleasures of professional dancing in the documentary MAD HOT BALLROOM… Narrated by Morgan Freeman, MARCH OF THE PENGUINS centers on one flock of emperor penguins as they make their way across the Antarctic… ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW copped a Sundance honor for writer-director Miranda July, who also co-stars in this piece about a lonely shoe salesman (John Hawkes) and his relationships with those around him… Another award winner at Sundance, MURDERBALL is a nonfiction film about former rugby players who don’t allow their newfound status as quadriplegics to interfere with their enjoyment of sports… MY SUMMER OF LOVE finds two girls (Natalie Press and Emily Blunt) on vacation in the English countryside falling in love with each other, much to the consternation of the born-again brother (Paddy Considine) of one of them… A bigger hit in its Russian homeland than either Spider-Man 2 or Return of the King, NIGHT WATCH (NOCHNOI DOZOR) is the first entry in a trilogy based on Sergei Lukyanenko’s sci-fi novels; it relates how the centuries-old balance between good and evil has been upset by the sudden emergence of a figure known only as “The Other”… Not to be confused with the Jack Black comedy School of Rock, the documentary ROCK SCHOOL focuses on Philadelphia’s Paul Green School of Rock Music, where kids ages nine through 17 learn the history of rock from A to Zappa.
This article appears in May 11-17, 2005.
