We Didn’t Start The Fire:
Responding to a call, officers came across a very bizarre scene: an oddly placed traffic cone that had been stuffed with rags and set on fire. The cone was blazing in the middle of the road; about 10 yards away, the arsonist had left a jug with a gallon of diesel fuel in it.
Eggs Over Easy And A Side Of Poop:
After returning home, a local man saw that his house and property had been vandalized. Persons unknown had thrown eggs at his home, and if that wasn’t enough, the persons in question had also defecated on the man’s front porch.
Hoover Or Dirt Devil?:
Fearing for her life, a local woman called the police after having her life threatened by a suspect wielding a vacuum cleaner. The suspect apparently thought that the woman was slandering his name to his friends and proceeded to threaten to kill her. The suspect fled the scene before police could arrive.
I Want It All:
At a local playground, a man was accosted by another man demanding his money. After the victim gave what he had, the unsatisfied gunman took it upon himself to pat the man down for more money or other items of interest. Apparently still dissatisfied, the suspect then took the sweater that the man had been holding in his hands. The gunman got away on foot with $15 and the article of clothing.
On Second Thought:
Perhaps suddenly having mid-crime doubts about his deed, an unknown suspect broke into a local woman’s car through the driver’s side door and tore out the ignition, leaving the rest of the car.
Late Night Reading:
At a local store, one man demonstrated that he had no intention of paying for his porn. After selecting the ones he wanted, the suspect snagged six adult magazines and fled the store without paying. The owner reported last seeing the suspect on foot, running through the parking lot of an adjacent business.
Sister Act:
A very angry woman called a local man on his mobile phone in an attempt to extort money from him. The suspect stated, “If you don’t want me to tell your wife or take it to a judge, you have to give me some money.” Not only was the suspect trying to get money for herself, she apparently also wanted to get a family member in on some of the action, as she also warned, “If you don’t want us to tell, you gotta give my sister some money. We can do this nice if you want or we can get a judge involved.” The victim went on to tell police that the suspect alleged that he had sexually harassed her sister while she worked in a restaurant that he owned.
Friends In Low Places:
After having his life threatened by his roommate, a local man called for police help. The victim said his roommate communicated a threat, saying, “I know people who can kill you.” The victim felt sure that the suspect might go through with his threats, since he had served 12 years in prison for robbery and murder. The victim told police that he was leaving the residence for the night and would make plans to move. Still, even after all that, the victim was unsure if he would seek a warrant.
The Munchies:
At a local motel, a resident called police after noticing that the vending machine on the fourth floor had been broken into. Unknown quantities of snack food were taken and the coin box smashed and looted.
Tire Tracks:
Between the hours of 10pm and 8:30am, an unknown assailant vandalized a local man’s front yard by driving a car through it. The suspect did visible damage to the sod in the front lawn of the house by leaving deep tire tracks.
WACKY WEED:
A thief used bodily force to smash his way into a local woman’s tool shed. Besides damaging the doorframe, he also stole the woman’s weed eater.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.
This article appears in Jan 22-28, 2003.
