Mobile
Thursday, November 29, 2007
News Free Condoms Lead To Amorous Union With Rhino
Posted By Web Editor on Thu, Nov 29, 2007 at 2:34 PM
By Pat Robertson
Recently I’ve been going through old 700 Club footage in preparation for our “Best Of” holiday season DVD. Here’s a classic quote from an early season:
"Planned Parenthood is teaching kids to fornicate, teaching people to have adultery, every kind of bestiality, homosexuality, lesbianism-everything that the Bible condemns." – Pat Robertson, The 700 Club, 4/9/91
I will NOT stand by with my hands behind my back while organizations such as Planned Parenthood lay the path for man/warthog, woman/elephant sexual relations or any other vicious combination (like three-toed sloth/two gay guys etc.).
On top of it all, they propound the use of condoms. Look, if you’re gonna have bestial relations, it is improper to use a condom. Sex is for procreation only. If you’re not ready to look into the eyes of your half-human/half-rhino baby, then perhaps you shouldn’t be having relations with the rhino. Just stay friends you know. Take it slow. Ecclesiastes 9:17-19—“the man who lays in amorous union with a rhino must know when to take it to the next level and when to just get his cds and his Scarface poster back and move on.”
I tell ya who else is getting on my nerves: those Planned Parenthood Lesbian Sorceresses. They are teaching good, decent alligators to leave their husbands. Now see here, if you’re an alligator woman you must submit to the power of your human husband. It’s not his fault you have short stubby arms and can’t wash dishes well. It’s not his fault you’re only in the mood once a year or that if he wanted to he could hold your mouth closed because it is only strong one way and not the other.
I also take great umbrage with Planned Parenthood pamphlets. In order to promulgate their message they features pictures of lesbian lemurs and gay ostriches. Where are all the happy, conventional heterosexual ostrich couples? Not every lemur is an unhappy communist lesbian. Some want to submit to the will of a man. Right?
Speaking of News
Latest in The CLog
More by Web Editor
-
Charlotte Talks about summer movies
Jun 12, 2018 -
Charlotte Talks About Oscar
Feb 22, 2016 -
Charlotte Talks about summer flicks
Jun 11, 2015 - More »
-
Question the Queen City: The story of Nellie Freeman, aka 'Razor Girl' 2
She decapitated her husband, was declared innocent, and never hurt another soul.
-
5 Reasons To Buy Home Insurance Policy
-
Catching the CAST Quad
Four plays have taken over CAST: The Edge of Our Bodies, A Steady Rain, Eliza and Under the Red Cloak.
