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Thursday, March 20, 2008
News Pastor Manning, you put the crazy in crazy black pastor
Posted By Web Editor on Thu, Mar 20, 2008 at 11:40 AM
By Al Sharpton
Please take a few minutes and watch this anti-Obama video from Pastor James Manning.
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From one outspoken pastor with a funny voice to another (your voice sort of sounds like mine on helium), maybe turn down the vitriol a notch or twelve. You started out strong with humor:
“Obama is a Macdaddy! You don’t get your campaign started with a big-chested white woman. She must be a 54-D. Double D. That’s the first place I saw his name. On a pair of great big ole tits. Obama is a long-legged Macdaddy!”
Long-legged? You sure you aren't mistaking him with the roadrunner? But then the gloves come off:
“I haven’t trashed Obama. His African in-heat father went whoring after a trashy white woman. He was born trash. I said he was born trash!
Listen, I'm jealous of Obama too. He has the world wrapped around his finger the way Jesse, me and you never will. But did you hear those audible gasps from the crowd when you said the trash line? Can I suggest an edit? Rubbage. It's a cute-sounding British word. It'll go over better. Next target: your parish.
"You hypocrites you. You spineless you-know-what. You don’t have enough sense to poor piss out of a boot, and you’re talking about Obama as your president. You’re despicable.”
Passionate diatribes infused with tangentially-related biblical passages is the communciation platform for us black pastors. It's like the sonnet to the poet, or the freeverse to the rapper. But attacking Obama and all black people is the wrong subject for that rant. There are two billion white people that would be better suited for your target. And what about the Jews ... stealing our money.
"The future of you African American people is in my mouth. It’s not in your hands, it’s in my mouth. And I don’t have to compromise with not one of you nappy-headed people. Your heatlh isn my mouth ... Gawd will stricken some of you with cancer. "
OK, here you get kind of crazy with it. You've obviously learned something from the master of jive-talk. I like the metaphor "your health is in my mouth." It is a metaphor, right? Not an illusion to oral sex? Oh and the part where you threatened people who speak against you with cancer, again perhaps a little strong. Maybe something not terminal but just annoying. Like canker sores.
News Groper features more than 50 parody blogs by politicians, celebrities, business tycoons, and foreign despots.
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