Think back your 21st birthday ... seriously ... do it.
Got it? Cool. Now, let me tell you about mine. I spent 17 hours of my 21st birthday sans debauchery in a college newsroom working on stories that, while deathly important to me at the time, I can't even remember now. So I now make it my duty to torture the livers of my peers joining the Green Driver's License Club.
The youngest of our little circle finally got to belly up to the bar without a fake ID, and we, of course, indulged her inner alcoholic. The drinking voyage started at Common Market with the usual casual brews and CL crossword, then it was on to EB's (Elizabeth Billiards, for those of you not in the know) where we finally had a chance to get some hard liquor in the birthday girl's tummy. Nothing like a bartender wishing you Happy Birthday while trying to figure out if he'd served you in the past and been burned by a fake ID.
There it was funny to see how years of drinking and thousands of cigarettes can turn the hot blonde with a pretty smile into something far less desirable. Good times were still had between pool and darts but a middle-aged guy doing a Ross Perot impression like it was 1992 was pretty much everyone's cue to make the trek across the parking lot to Cafe Central.
Now this was more our group's speed (and age).
The music was cool enough, but the drinks were cheap, and most importantly, the kitchen was open after midnight, meaning we could teach birthday girl an important lesson: always keep food on your stomach, preferably something bready or greasy, to soak up the liquor.
Like a trooper, she was still standing when we declared like Swingers this party was dead, which it wasn't, and moved on to the night cap — a house party, which meant the drinks weren't well mixed and the liquor was a heavy-handed. While this was my type of party, for the novice alcoholic, it was too much. I don't think she can tell you too much about this party after arriving there, and for the sake of the Constitution, I'll plead the 5th.
The top five nightlife-related events going down tonight, Aug. 31, as chosen from the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Boots & Bikinis at Whisky River
• Foreign Affairs Tuesdays at On The Roxx Southend
• $2 Tuesdays at Pub at Gateway
• Country Tuesdays at Snug Harbor
• Karaoke at Bar at 316
I am so highly amused that the GS Boyz performed at Alley Cat last night. I mentioned it to my editor, and his immediate response was, "They're still around?"
This fabulous duo
In case you're not familiar with the "Stanky Leg" song and dance, here's the video. I'm sorry, I just had to do it.
OK, I'll admit it to you and no one else ... I can vaguely recall one drunken evening at a club back home in Georgia in the near past in which I ... yes, I think so ... did the "Stanky Leg." For shame, Kim Lawson!
Here's photo from last night from one of our photographers ... check QC After Dark later to see more!
Hello Friday. It's so nice to see you again.
Friday, Aug. 27
• For those of us working on our higher education, school started back this week. Whew. Town Tavern welcomes us back with its :: Back to School Bash ::
• A night in Vegas, featuring the :: 4th Annual Rockin' With Ribbons Benefitting Susan G Komen For The Cure :: at The Sunset Club
• It's fall fashion show time. First up, it's the :: Rock the Republic Fashion Show :: at Pavilion at Epicentre, featuring Rock and Republic Denim.
• Single Cell Productions brings you :: ALLOY :: at Closet with a special Iconoclast fashion show
• :: Latin International Night :: at Apostrophe Lounge
• It's a ::Foam Party :: at Bar Charlotte!
Saturday, Aug. 28
• :: 6th Annual White Trash Party :: at Ultimate Gym
• Local band's :: The Lights Fluorescent final show :: tonight at The Milestone
• Dharma Lounge and Culture Initiative presents :: Abstract Culture :: an abstract showcase of 3D art and music with musical guest Q-BURNS ABSTRACT MESSAGE
• Power 98's No Limit Larry hosts the :: I Luv Music Weekend :: at The Forum
• :: Kiss :: live at Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
Sunday, Aug. 29
• Rockhouse Events brings you :: ReFRESH :: pool party at The Blake Hotel
• :: Tea Leaf Green :: performs at Neighborhood Theatre
Have you ever noticed how nightlife venues almost always use some sexy girl's image on their promotional flyers?
Let's look at a few, shall we?
First off, here's a flyer (with the name of the venue edited out) snagged from an EpiCentre club's Facebook. A naked girl wearing red heels laced up the thighs is drenched in water. The text promises us that this place is "redefining nightlife." But tell me, have you ever seen a wet T-shirt contest going down in the EpiCentre? In fact, I'm pretty sure if patrons dressed up to club standards and paid good money to get into the establishment, they'd be pretty pissed if they were doused with a bucket of water.
"What's your story baby? For real, not the stuff you tell these other n*ggas..."
I was more surprised than the woman this was actually whispered to at a semi-upscale birthday party I went to recently. But I soon realized this was just another lesson in "old head" game.
How can you spot "an old head"? It's a little more complex than looking for Ed Hardy stragglers who two-step to every song. Completely ignoring just the old, creepy guys at the bar making references to things that predate your birth sometimes by decades, I, personally, break them down into five major categories and, ironically, I've seen all of them recently in Charlotte party spots.
Daddy Warbucks
In my mind, this guy was a lame in high school but used that scorn to power his successful climb up the corporate ladder, and now, the girls he couldn't get when he was 21, he'll buy the affection of their daughters. He's so quick to flash cash or plastic, it screams desperation — but the women benefiting from his eagerness to impress them aren't bitching. They'll run his tab up and leave with a dude that didn't buy them shit.
Dance Fever
There are two versions of this guy. There's the one who's embarrassingly bad but nonetheless committed to dancing to every song — he's usually dressed like the era he came of age in, in this case, the House Party 1, Martin Seasons 1 and 2 era — and is the living definition of the anti-poon with his over-energetic dance moves and advances. The other version is a little more suave. He also doesn't need an excuse to cut a rug. It can be Earth, Wind & Fire or Wacka Flocka Flame; either way, he's on the dance floor and really good. He's going to smoothly grab any woman in the vicinity, pull her out on the floor and get in a song or two. The advantage he has over the young dudes: He knows not to dance with that one girl all night. He ends his run with a chivalrous, "thank you," then walks to the bar. I can dig it Class of '87, I can dig it.
Seasoned Game Spitter
Not to be confused with the old man making awkward passes at the bar, this guy is a pro. His sense of humor, conversation starters, image and style have been impeccably crafted over decades of scooping women at the bar.
Forever Young
Pretty self explanatory. This guy is grasping to every bit of youth he has left. Whether it's wearing "what the kids wear" or blindly ignoring the fact that his 50-year-old physique isn't exactly what designers had in mind when they thought about the cut of those jeans. He's tries to stay as current as possible, which is cool enough, but every time he brings up "seeing that young cat" on 106 & Park, all you can think is, I stopped watching 106 & Park in high school.
Confident Coug
There's no rule saying that oldheads are exclusive to men. Confident Cougs are the women who may be committed to the single life or hot divorcees that are at times jarringly upfront but also admirable aggressive. They don't need to see ID — they know you're old enough drink and that's old enough for them. You may be rough around the edges but they have the bank account and keen eye for fashion to fix you up. Let's just hope you don't end up dressing like Forever Young.
The top five nightlife-related events going down tonight, Aug. 26, as chosen from the folks at Creative Loafing.
• T.R.E.N.D. Thursdays at Bentley RSVP (with a UNCC party bus)
• Jazz on the Lawn at the Van Landingham Estate
• Free music night at Neighborhood Theatre: Mindelixir Presents Bass Church IV
• End of Summer Bash with GS Boys Performing "Stanky Leg" and "Booty Dew" at Alley Cat
• Shiprocked with Scott Weaver at Snug Harbor
The top five nightlife-related events going down tonight, Aug. 25, as chosen from the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Elevate's After Work Surrender at Chima
• Free cover at Suite
• Ballantyne's Mix at Six
• Poetry & Hookah Party at Apostrophe Lounge
• R&B Live Charlotte at The Sunset Club
You know when you have to stand in line to get into Black Finn — not Suite or Whisky River, but Black Finn — the crowd at the EpiCentre is getting a little ridiculous.
So here's my solution to those of you like me who have none of the patience it takes to stand in line to get into an overly crowded bar that boasts nothing out of the ordinary: Venture somewhere outside of the EpiCentre once in a while.
I can hear your disgruntled replies now: "What? Are you kidding me? The EpiCentre is THE place to be on the weekends!"
But why? Why is it THE place to be? Because there are so many people there?
Let me share a little secret with you, my friends. If more people ventured outside of the multi-entertainment complex, perhaps other places in Uptown would get a fair shot at being "THE place" to be.
Anyway. After standing in line for a few minutes at Black Finn this past Friday night, my friends and I elected to make a stop at Molly MacPhersons instead. The trek wasn't that far down 5th Street (by the way, how late am I to find out that Fiji/Kashmir closed? Alas, not that we didn't expect that to happen, right?) as we passed Latorres and Dandelion Market (both venues which seemed to be doing quite well — this makes me proud).
The top five nightlife-related events going down tonight, Aug. 23, as chosen from the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Back to School Hollywood Party at Breakfast Club
• Pint Night at Flying Saucer
• Monday Funday at Dixie's Tavern
• Revolver with Shawn Lynch at Snug Harbor
• Carolina Unplugged at The Wine Up
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