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Friday, June 5, 2009

He said/She said Dating tip: Screening is essential

Posted By on Fri, Jun 5, 2009 at 10:48 AM

One man. Twenty one kids. Minimum wage job. Eleven baby mamas.

I’m sure most of you have heard or read about this ridiculous story about the 29-year-old man in Tennessee with 21 kids. And if you haven’t ... then I need you to read the newspaper, turn on the TV or something!

This foolishness combined with listening to folks whining, kicking and screaming about their baby daddies, baby mamas and ex-boos is killing me. It boils down to one damn thing in my book: Did you do your research before deciding to lie down with that person?

Clearly, somewhere along the line, the process of weeding out folks is missing from today’s dating world.

I am an advocate for this — screening your potential baby daddy/mama/boo/jumpoff or whatever before you proceed in any type of relationship.

"What you mean 'Meik?"

Let’s hone in on an example: Girl meets boy. Booty call relationship takes off within just a few days. A couple months later, boy decides he doesn’t want to be bothered with girl and throws her the deuces. Oops, girl finds out she is pregnant and then finds out boy has three or four other kids and no job.

Now had said girl screened his ass, she would have known all this information BEFORE she pro-created with him.

The same idea applies to people who are just getting to know each other and are thinking about taking it to the next level.

How do you go about screening folks? You know I love making lists, so here we go:

1. The Internet is the ish plain and simple. Need directions: simply type in the person’s name in a search engine and see what comes up. You may find out that person has been involved in the news in some old “Set it Off” type of ish.

2. Look them up on Facebook, Myspace, or any other social networking Web site ... if their page isn’t set to private ... pay attention to the types of folks they are friends with and the stuff posted on the page ... you can learn a lot and pick up on any red flags.

3. Ya’ll know the Queen City has just a few degrees of separation. Someone is bound to know someone that knows someone. Open your mouth and just ask.

4. There’s nothing wrong with doing a little background check to find out what you could be laying up with. Just like employers do background checks to see who they are employing, think about who you are letting in your personal space and get busy being nosy!

5. Simply taking the time to talk to each other and being honest is one of the best ways to find out what you need to know.

Lesson Learned: A lot of drama can be eliminated if you just take the time to do your research. Screening folks doesn’t take up much time. Dealing with a triflin' mofo after you decide to take it to the next level is what will eat up time, sweat, blood, tears and make you have bad nerves or even worse ... make me put you on blast in mofochronicles (shameless plug).

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