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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
feature Friends with an 'ex' on Facebook? Why?
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 1:48 PM
Mama always said he/she is an ex for a reason, but in this social media world we live in these days, is an "ex" also a Facebook friend?
One camp says you should remain friends on social media:
You might not want to have anything to do with the guy now, but it's likely that your bitter feelings will subside in time. A birthdaywish or a friendly wall post may be in order at some point in the future. Resist the temptation to defriend and simply hide his stories from popping up in your news feed.
Another camp says you shouldn't remain friends:
A Facebook de-friending from a recent ex may seem like a slap in the face, but it’s really quite healthy for both parties.If you actually meant that line about still being friends, Facebook defriending may help you create the space you need to become comfortable on your new footing. You may refriend him the future, when time has passed and you’re both ready to reconnect; but until then, you don’t have to be reminded of him whenever you see his status updates. Also, you won’t have to read sickly-sweet wall chatter between him and his new girl, and you won’t be reminded when he goes back to your favorite brunch spot. Even after a mutual decision to split, reading a feed of your ex’s daily life and thoughts can be unpleasant.
Of course, I have to wonder: When did it become cool to have social media relationships? For the sake of your other friends on Facebook, please keep the details of your happy relationship and/or dirty breakup to yourself.
Plus, if you’re inclined to bittersweet obsessive page-checking and wall reading, you’ll be saving yourself hours of agonizing over what your ex really meant by that innocuous status update.If your breakup wasn’t an amiable parting of the ways, defriending draws a clear line of separation between you and Mr. Horribly Wrong. If he does leave nasty status updates or notes, you won’t have to see them and be drawn into a tacky battle.
After all, Facebook doesn't give us the right to act like children, even though many people do. Just remember why you broke up and that Facebook is supposed to be for friends. I can't think of one ex that I consider a friend. Because, like mama said, he/she is an "ex" for a reason.
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