Yesterday, I was encouraged to see the news that President Obama announced that his administration would no longer defend the "Defense of Marriage" act.

The Defense of Marriage Act will no longer be defended by the Obama administration. The President has concluded that his administration cannot continue to defend the Defense of Marriage Act, a federal law banning recognition of same-sex marriage, because it only defines marriage as between a man and a woman.

According to Attorney General Eric Holder, the congressional debate during passage of the Defense of Marriage Act "contains numerous expressions reflecting moral disapproval of gays and lesbians and their intimate and family relationships — precisely the kind of stereotype-based thinking and animus the (Constitution's) Equal Protection Clause is designed to guard against."

"Much of the legal landscape has changed in the 15 years since Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act," Holder said in a statement. He also noted that the Supreme Court has ruled laws which criminalize homosexual conduct are unconstitutional.

According to Holder, the President has concluded that given a documented history of discrimination against gays, classifications based on sexual orientation should be subject to a more heightened standard of scrutiny than the department had been applying in legal challenges to the act up to now.

1. Obama announces he will ignore a law passed by Congress and signed by Clinton that bans homosexual marriage. He says the law is unfair and so won't enforce it. A new low in legal jurisprudence.

2. NC Senate (now under GOP control) introduces bill to ban homosexual marriage from the NC Constitution (widely expected to pass).

3. CMPD running sting operations against homosexuals in Mecklenburg County Parks because they set up web sites telling other homosexuals where to go for 'public sex'. Kids exposed but homosexual leaders say they have their rights also. They claim that it doesn't harm kids to be exposed to their 'activities'.

But wait, there's more:

The compelling interest of government is to protect the public from predators foreign or domestic.

In particular, from sexual predators, which homosexuals most certainly are. As a homosexual organization said correctly yesterday (and I said in different words about 4 weeks ago)

And then there is this:

Homosexuals are sexual predators because they get a thrill out of public sex and know (any reasonable person would know) that doing so in a park means that a child or others could be exposed to the behavior.

I wonder if James sits at home monitoring the news for the word "homosexual" so that he can spread his rhetoric on social media and in e-mails? Didn't we just have this discussion?

Once again, people just can't go out and get a lapdance without bullets flying around. Late Sunday night, the party at Club 124 on Atando Avenue was brought to a close after a group of men were escorted out of the club for behaving badly. Then, according to News 14, shots rang out.

Police say as a group of men was being escorted out of the club for rowdy behavior, a couple of them starting shooting through the door. One victim was struck in the back and rushed to the hospital.

This is the second strip club shooting in North Charlotte in the last few years. Last November,  27-year-old mother of six, Juquina Harris, was killed outside of the Silver Fox Club on Statesville Avenue. Two men, Elijah Akeem Ashford and Aaron Ashford were arrested in connection with the shooting.

These incidents, though not linked, beg the question: Why bring a gun to a strip club?

How is it that we keep hearing about the alleged John Edwards sex tape, but there hasn't been a leak of it at all?

The former presidential hopeful has been deposed about the tape he supposedly made with Rielle Hunter, the mother of his youngest child.

Robert Elliot said Edwards was deposed last week as part of a dispute between former Edwards aide Andrew Young and Edwards mistress Rielle Hunter. Elliot declined to discuss the content of the testimony. A judge said last year he didn't want the details discussed publicly and warned both sides that he could hold people in contempt if the deposition material is talked about outside of the case.

Hunter has sued Young to reclaim materials, including a video that Young has said depicts a sexual encounter involving Edwards and a woman he assumes to be Hunter. Young has said he helped cover up the affair and contends the tape was found amid trash Hunter left behind in a home he was renting.

Meanwhile, a separate federal criminal investigation in Raleigh has drawn several people in recent months to testify before a grand jury. People familiar with the case have said investigators are examining how much Edwards knew about money used to cover up his affair and whether he violated campaign finance laws. The investigation is particularly focused on whether money given to Hunter and Young should have been considered campaign donations.

Hunter worked in 2006 as a videographer for Edwards' political action committee, shooting behind-the-scenes footage as the Democrat prepared to launch his second White House campaign. Edwards acknowledged a year ago that he fathered a child with Hunter, though Young had initially claimed paternity so Edwards could continue his campaign.

Can we get a screen shot, a 30-second clip or something? Otherwise, we are so over hearing about this without seeing if it really exists. I'm beginning to thing that this video like N.C.'s Bigfoot — we keep looking for it, but never, ever see it.

Thursday, Charlotte Mecklenburg Police took a U.S. Army sergeant Charlie Landrum Ingram, 45, into custody on charges that he allegedly assaulted a woman who was signing up for the army. The alleged incident happened last Thursday, Feb. 3, at the Army recruiting office located at 440 McCullough Drive.

Ingram allegedly made inappropriate sexual comments toward her. Then, he reportedly took her into a supply room where he sexually assaulted her.  The victim told police that she  attempted to leave the room, but Ingram pushed her into the corner of the room and continued to fondle her.  The victim was finally able to escape the assault when someone came into the building, startling the suspect.

He was taken to the Mecklenburg County Sheriff’s Office and given a bail amount of $5,000, for the four misdemeanor charges.

Anyone with information regarding this case or any other incidents involving Ingram is asked to contact Detective Banner with the Sexual Assault Unit, at abanner@cmpd.org or 704-336-8279.

Ingram's case highlights an issue the Army has been dealing with since 2005, recruiters facing sex charges. According to The Army Times, there have been case across the country dealing with this issue — including the dismissal of 15 recruiters in Indiana in 2009.

The former recruiter, Sgt. Eric P. Vetesy, 39, is expected to plead guilty Friday in the Hamilton County case. He faces 39 charges relating to sexual misconduct with females he recruited — mostly high school teenagers — when he appears in court in Noblesville.

The state’s top Guard recruiting official said the dismissals since Vetesy’s arrest, though troublesome, show that new rules and procedures implemented to prevent and expose sex-related wrongdoing in Guard recruiting are working.

“In other words, violations stopped being swept under the rug,” Lt. Col. Ivan E. Denton noted in an update to the National Guard Bureau in Washington earlier this year.

Denton, who oversees nearly 200 Guard recruiters statewide, has logged and investigated 36 sex-related complaints since the February 2005 indictment of Vetesy.

Last year in California, an Army recruiter was arrested after a mall security guard saw him having sex with a 17-year-old girl, who police said was a potential army recruit, in the parking lot of a mall.

Christian Rigal Mercado, 25, who worked as a recruiter at the Army's office on Mount Vernon Avenue in San Bernardino, was suspended from his recruiting duties while the incident was investigated, the newspaper reported.

A 2006 Associated Press report uncovered these facts about sex abuse in the military:

The Army, which accounts for almost half of the military, has had 722 recruiters accused of rape and sexual misconduct since 1996.Across all services, one out of 200 frontline recruiters — the ones who deal directly with young people — was disciplined for sexual misconduct last year.

Some cases of improper behavior involved romantic relationships, and sometimes those relationships were initiated by the women.

Most recruiters found guilty of sexual misconduct are disciplined administratively, facing a reduction in rank or forfeiture of pay; military and civilian prosecutions are rare.

The increase in sexual misconduct incidents is consistent with overall recruiter wrongdoing, which has increased from just over 400 cases in 2004 to 630 cases in 2005, according to a General Accounting Office report.

When you hear the words safe sex, immediately you think of condoms, right?

Well, add something else to your safe sex data bank — no cameras.

According to an article in The Daily Telegraph, recording your sex act isn't safe. Just ask the former Miss North Carolina Rebekah Revels (and she lost a lot because of photographs, not even a video) or Kim Kardashian ... well maybe not Kim, since her sex tape shot her into fame.

You excitedly board the plane to rendezvous with your new lover. Your mind is overflowing with anticipation and you can barely wait to arrive at the luxurious hotel where you will spend a decadent weekend together.

You wake up together the following morning and realise that it is not a dream. You then do it all over again but this time with less urgency.

You order room service, more champagne and giggle in delight. You both feel deliriously happy. Your lover then suggests a recording to capture the memory.

Your ecstatic emotions are swirling around in your head. You want to respond and please your lover. You feel flattered, swept up in the moment and it is hard to resist the temptation

You are heady with all the champagne and your usual discretion becomes blurred.

You go along with it, knowing it will add further thrill to another exhilarating lovemaking session.

Your fantastic, enchanting weekend comes to an end and you promise to do it all again soon. But soon never comes. Just as quickly as it started, it ended.

Things can go awry very quickly. One of you has decided to call it quits for whatever reason. The other person may feel raw and confused with mixed emotions.

They may feel startled with relief because that level of passion is draining. Indeed, passion fades in every relationship after the initial euphoric phase of falling in love.

What about the tape? It is too late to undo what has been done. Despite the initial fun, sex tapes can be dangerous. If one partner is left bitter or resentful it is unpredictable what they may do with the tape.

So, grab your condoms and leave the video cameras, video phones and other recording equipment out of your bedroom.

A new website recently launched that has the potential to be a stalker's best friend: Spokeo.com.

The homepage let's you know, "Not your grandmother's phone book." And boy is that an understatement. Type in a name and it brings up that person's address, phone number, cell phone number, marital status and even social media sites. Scary that so much of your personal information is out there. Welcome to the digital age.

I give this site props, though. You can remove your information and it comes off instantly. So, when you log on (because I know you will) and type in your name, copy the link that comes up and then click on the privacy link at the bottom. If you have more than two entries you want to remove, you have to do it from another e-mail address. The site limits the number of entries you can remove from on e-mail address.

So, if you think that dude in the club (the one with the iPhone, nice body and kind of creepy vibe) that you want to have a one-night stand with might not take "it's never going to happen again" very well, pass him a fake name — until your remove your information from Spokeo. Sasha Fierce works for me.

Ever notice that after you eat chocolate, you feel sated and relaxed? If you're with your partner, you feel more loving and romantic toward them?

It's not just love, it's chemistry — more over your body's reaction to the chemicals in chocolate. Don't believe me? Public health advocate Dr. Marcus Wells writes, in a recent article sent my way:

Studies now are looking at how the same brain centers called the Thalmus,  hypothalmus, Amygdala and substantia nigra are areas where potent neuro-chemicals intensify libido, romance and cuddling. It is these brain centers that trigger sexuality, selecting our sexual partner, cuddling, even sexual addiction.

Dopamine a neurochemical has been studied and is believed to be the substance that creates romantic feelings between couples who are developing  sexual energy , giddiness or  a state of euphoric high one feels when they begin to "fall in love" and are very attracted one another. But, what makes a couple stay together through the thick and thin of it? In women the hormone oxytocin plays a strong role after sexual activity has played out. Oxytocin is the hormone of cuddling. The lower this hormone exists in both men and in women the more distance you might see between them. The hormone Vasopressin which is biochemically equivalent in men plays this same role more so. When you see break ups between couples happen, you might want to check the oxytocin-vasopressin levels because it might be low. Low intimacy and post-coital hugging, kissing and cuddling means that this neuro-chemical may be low for a couple.

What might drive ones libido overboard is a brain chemical called dopamine and another biochemical we will come back to later called Phenylethylamine (PEA). We see these chemicals rise in the body with sexual climax.

He says this about chocolate:

Chocolate is not only a natural aphrodisiac , but the latest scientific research is showing that it contains multiple chemicals that play a role in enhancing one's ( or one's partner's) libido. theobromine is a stimulant that is known to enhance tactile stimulation including sexuality. "Just one touch" with chocolate could send your mate spinning!  Tryptophan is a major ingredient of chocolate and is a major precursor of Serotonin, the chemical that raises the "crave" for sexuality and climax!

Chocolate also has endorphins. Remember them? The Flavonoids in chocolate reduces inhibition to pleasure and increases pain threshold.  We always said there was a fine line between pain and pleasure, this may be why. Endorphins also act as an antioxidant. Other chemicals playing a role with this are Anadamide and methylxanthine to help relax smooth muscles. But, do you remember that other sexual booster from the brain, PEA we mentioned earlier with serotonin. It raises pheromone attraction through your secretions.

So, when Valentine's Day (or any day when you want to eat chocolate) rolls around, make sure you share so you can get some good loving or make that loving feeling in your relationship return.

**Dr. Marcus Wells has spent over 20 years working as a public health advocate and metabolic specialist and has spent several years working at the NIH in Washington DC as well as the National Institutes of Health and the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute.  He has done research and has read the most recent studies on hormones and internal chemical reactions which supports the theory that there are ways to help improve your love life naturally and without the use of drugs.

A Miami man is facing manslaughter charges in a case of rough sex turning deadly — if you believe his story, that is.

For two days, a Lake Worth man kept a woman’s body in his bed as he tried to figure out how to dispose of it and later he told authorities she had died during rough sex, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.Doris Lopez’s body was found inside a car parked at a Delray Beach parking lot on October 26^th.

Three months since that discovery, police arrested 40-year-old David Muringer and have charged him with manslaughter in her death.

Allegedly, the couple had had sex before, in which he'd choked her during the act and she passed out.  In that case, she regained consciousness moments later.

It's called asphyxiophilla (the act in which people like to be choked during sex). People who enjoy the practice say it intensifies sexual arousal. There's nothing wrong with trying something new or kinky, but how do you know when enough is enough?

Muringer allegedly told authorities he had been casually dating 48-year-old Lopez, who was unemployed and lived in West Palm Beach. He told police he choked Lopez during sex, but said her death was accidental.  He said she lost consciousness once before and she had awakened moments later. However, on the night she died, her losing consciousness angered him and he threw her off the bed, the Sun-Sentinel reported.

He left the apartment and when he returned she remained on the floor dead. Muringer is being held without bond.

Muringer waited two days before allegedly stuffing her body in a plastic bag then pushing it into a cardboard barrel he had since childhood, according to the Delray Beach police report.

“He told us he sealed the barrel with duct tape, rolled the barrel out of his apartment and placed the barrel into the back seat of the victim’s car,” Delray Beach police Detective Jason Jabcuga wrote in the arrest report, which was quoted in the paper.

So, if you're going to have rough sex, try not to kill your partner. If your partner does die, however, take note: trying to dispose of his or her remains probably won't play well in front of the jury.

When I heard The Reddoor Store on Woodlawn was relocating to 9605 N. Tryon St., which is not as close to my residence as the old location, I was sad.  The Reddoor is like the Target of sex stores, with a wide selection and decent prices.

But my tears dried today when I checked out Arringtons Boutique and Specialties (located at 200 W. Woodlawn Road). Not only can you get your club gear (stripper clothes) and novelties (dildos) from this shop, there are people there to do your makeup and nails.

So imagine this: You want to surprise your lover with a brand-new look tonight. Go over the Arringtons and purchase some sexy lingerie — the selection there is pretty good — get your makeup done and step out in a pair of sky-high heels. When you get home, guaranteed your partner will be super excited to see you.

Arringtons Boutique is open Monday-Thursday from 11 a.m. to 12 a.m., Friday and Saturday, 11.a.m. to 2 a.m. and on Sunday, 1 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Last week, I was flipping through the channels and found out that Lifetime was doing a movie about The Craigslist Killer. I was kind of excited.

Remember, the alleged killer, Philip Markoff is one of the reasons why the site closed its erotic services section. That means many people who lack real-life social skills were cut off from sex. The dark ads for the movie made it seem as if Lifetime was going to pull back Markoff's mask and show why he did what he's accused of doing. After all, it's 2011 and Lifetime has gone beyond making all of those bad stories that happen in the real world tidy and ultra-girly.

Big sigh — I was wrong. Here's what the real Markoff did:

Markoff was a Boston University medical student, charged with the 2009 murder of Julissa Brisman, a masseuse he was said to have met with via a Craigslist appointment. Markoff, who pleaded not guilty, was also charged with robbing another masseuse at gunpoint four days prior to the murder.

There were even reports of him going to fetish sites and things of that nature. Guess what Lifetime did? Glossed over this, as well as the women he robbed and killed, and focused on his whining wife-to-be. Talk about a waste of two hours.

Lifetime even cleaned up his suicide scene, which ABC News reported like this:

A law enforcement source told ABC News that Markoff was able to take a razor blade from one of the disposable razors jail inmates are allowed to use, and he used it to slash not only his wrists but also the femoral artery in his leg.

He then wrapped the wound in his leg in a garbage bag to conceal the blood, and put another garbage bag over his head and tied it tight around his neck, the source said.

Lifetime's ratings grab fell short, and with a story this juicy, it's a shame. This movie could've used some of its two hours to inform people how to use the Internet safely, because with stories like this and the death of Charlotte resident Nikki McPhatter, who met her killer online, shows that the danger is real.