Mutual friends told me she was creative and passionate and a bit quirky - just my kind of gal. When we initially met for lunch at Levant in Uptown, I assumed we were going to have a friendly "meeting of the minds" to discuss networking, writing and Charlotte's socio-political climate. Then, as we were settling the bill and gathering our things to head back to work, she surprised me with an invitation. Rather business-like, she asked me if I would like to join her in bed. After a moment's hesitation, I agreed. Even though we had only met an hour earlier, we had a connection. We set a date for a few weeks later. I wasn't quite sure what was in store, but I enjoyed the anticipation.

• Donald Devet

When I arrived at her home, I was nervous. She greeted me at the door wearing nothing but a lilac negligee and bright red lipstick. (Gulp!) She offered me a drink, but I declined. I went directly to the guest bathroom and stared into the mirror. What was I thinking? How do I keep getting myself in these situations? Why do I agree to do things that terrify me? I gave myself a short pep-talk and gathered my courage. I changed into a pink nightgown, newly purchased for this special occasion, smoothed my hair, and put on a fresh coat of lipstick. I opened the door and stepped bravely into the unknown.

Not only did we get into bed together, but we did it under hot lights and in front of a camera. Yes, friends, I joined Joanne Spataro on the set of "Pillow Talk." What did you think I was talking about? Sorry to disappoint you. Yes, I did get into bed with a woman, but no it was not to have sex. It was to talk about sex - something I find incredibly satisfying, but in a wholly different way.

Joanne is a contributor to Creative Loafing and a blogger at The Huffington Post. She writes about LGBT issues and gender politics. She is also the creator and star of several YouTube episodes of Look It's Joanne. Recently, she has developed "Pillow Talk," a series of filmed short interviews with local folks, conducted in the comfort of her big pink bed.

I assume she asked me to be one of her guests because she thought I would be saucy and provocative and maybe a bit naughty. But alas, I fear I was none of those things. I went into sex nerd mode instead of sex kitten mode. Seriously, I was in a pink nightie, in bed with a woman and a giant vulva pillow, and I was boring!?!?! I hope my saucy side shines through but I won't know until I see the finished product. Episodes begin airing on Jan. 14, and mine will air just in time for Valentine's Day. Click here for a sneak peek.

I have toyed with the idea of hosting a cuddle party - a safe space for people to enjoy nonsexual touch. I've never been to one, but I see their significance. Skin hunger is a real thing. We are made to give and receive touch, and without it we suffer.

Psychologists who have studied skin hunger find that those who have less access to touch (what I call "affection deficit disorder") show greater incidences of depression and stress, and have poorer general health. Just as orphaned babies who are not held experience a "failure to thrive," so do adults. People now touch their cellphones more than they touch each other, and reports of loneliness are up 16 percent over the previous decade. Despite all of our online "connections" we are enjoying less skin-to-skin contact.

I would argue that it's not only an increase in the quantity of the touch that we need, but an increase in the quality, too. I'm not much of a hugger, but there is a guy friend at work who gives the best hugs. Every time I see him, we exchange a long, firm hug. It instantly makes me feel better. It's not my imagination. Hugs release a feel-good chemical cocktail of endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin. When I feel like I am awash in a sea of work and obligations and deadlines, it feels so good to be held down for a minute. It feels comforting to be connected and grounded, in a very real way, to a friend.

The paperwork will be stamped by a judge this week, meaning the new year brings with it my new reality: I am a divorcee. I am not going to say that ending a long relationship is easy or without its emotional ups and downs, but I can say that I feel strangely fine. I'm happy and I feel hopeful about the future. Prone to either ruminate on the past or worry about the future, I am working on being present in the moment. This moment is all that I have. Instead of self-critique, I will self-create. My mantra: Who am I? Who do I want to be?

Every year I choose a word to be my theme. In 2012, it was "courage" - to make changes, to be on my own, to start my private practice. In 2013, it was "strength" - to persist when life got hard, to push myself physically, to resist what was not in my best interest. In 2014, my word is "become". I will have a milestone birthday this year, and with that comes a sense of "the time is now." I can't wait for the perfect relationship, or until I have more money, or until I lose weight ... I'm not waiting. I will be my own beloved.

Here are my resolutions for the coming year. What are yours?

Body acceptance is harder than it should be. We have hundreds of specialized parts working in intricate fashion to do amazing things like dance, perform music, toss a football, swim, do yoga, build blanket forts with our kids, give hugs and make love. Even simple activities like walking, eating and speaking are minor miracles in my book. For the most part, my body works the way I want it to. My body has been good to me, and when my body has suffered, it's usually because of poor choices on my account.

Even people who accept their body often lack the ability to praise and celebrate it. How can we when we are constantly sold an impossible ideal? If we loved our bodies as is, think of how many companies would go out of business. And I'm not just speaking about women or those who are overweight. Everyone struggles to love their body. I know some stunningly attractive people who obsess about their perceived imperfections. Sometimes I think that the closer someone is to being perfect, the more they focus on the things they don't like. I am so far from perfect that it would take all of my time and energy to get anywhere near the American ideal for a woman - and I mean every waking moment and every ounce of energy. It would consume my life. I try to eat right and exercise, but there are only so many hours in the day. My motto is "I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable."

- "At least half of American women will experience an unintended pregnancy by age 45, and, at current rates, one in 10 women will have an abortion by age 20, one in four by age 30 and three in 10 by age 45."

Source: Guttmacher Institute

Until this year, although I knew the statistics, I didn't know anyone who had an abortion. Even though I have training in human sexuality, am known to have liberal social views, and support women's rights, no one has confided in me. Yet, I likely know many, many women who have had an abortion. For something so common, it is something we don't talk about.

Therapy is for the brave. Baring your soul to a stranger is not for the faint of heart. Sex therapy is often an even more emotionally vulnerable experience. Many people turn to sex therapy precisely because their urges, fantasies, or behaviors are so shameful that they can't bear to confide in their friends, family or partner. Now imagine putting all of that confusion and hurt on public display.

Chris Donaghue, sex therapist and host of Logo TV's Bad Sex, says his goal is to release people from the shame they experience. He gets emails from fans all over the world who respond to his pro-sex stance and long for his anti-shame message. Although he began his career as an addictions counselor, he says it never felt like a good fit. Sex addiction counselors are trained in addictions, but not sex. He believes the sex addiction model is "horribly shaming" and based not on health but on value judgments.

PFLAG Gaston has grown from a handful of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays to a dynamic group of activists engaging their community. Founded in 2009 by Amy Sifford and Robert Kellogg, the group is now a visible participant in community events, such as the Downtown Gastonia Zombie Walk and Food Drive, Run for the Money and Taste of Gaston. A recent summer picnic sponsored by the group at Stowe Park in Belmont drew over 40 attendees, perhaps due to the appearance of Fortune Feimster. Feimster is a Belmont native who now lives in L.A. doing comedy and regularly appearing on Chelsea Lately. Feimster's mom Ginger is the current PFLAG Gaston president.

To fulfill its mission to spread education, support and understanding, PFLAG Gaston has been intentional about reaching out to local churches, the media and the health department. It has also supported the development of gay-straight alliances at area schools; there are GSA's at Highland School of Technology, Forest View High School, South Point High School and Gaston College. Creating and maintaining a safe learning environment for LGBT youth is just one of the issues that members are passionate about.

In an effort to inform and educate on trans issues, PFLAG Gaston invited Janice Covington to speak at their next meeting, which is Nov. 21 at 7 p.m. at St. Mark's Episcopal Church, 258 W. Franklin Blvd., Gastonia. Janice is a well-respected activist in the Charlotte area. She was honored with this year's Harvey Milk Award at Charlotte Pride for her work raising awareness of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and her election as North Carolina's first openly transgender person to represent the state at the Democratic National Convention.

Some people quietly complain about injustices and wait for someone else to make things right. Not Janice. She makes people pay attention to what's wrong in the world. I recently spoke with this self-described "radical." (This transcript has been edited for brevity and clarity.)

• Courtesy Janice Covington
• Covington

"It's going to be trashy." That was the description a small group of 30-something women gave me when I asked them how that night's SuicideGirls Blackheart Burlesque was going to compare to the Dita Von Teese show I had seen at the same location, The Fillmore, a month prior. The talkative one predicted that the SG show was going to be "totally different - they get completely naked and make out with each other." She leaned in a little closer to me, "They're a big deal with lesbians."

Judging from the crowd, the SuicideGirls appeal to plenty of heterosexual men too - and not just the pierced and inked guys. Everybody has their fantasy girl and for some, it's a small-chested 22-year-old with neon green pig-tails and a tattoo of the Millennium Falcon on her thigh.

• Jeff Hahne

In the interest of pseudo-scientific research, I created an online dating profile for an attractive woman who was looking for nothing more than a good time. The response was overwhelming. I tried to return the emails as they came in but it became too time-consuming. In less than five hours, I received emails from 100 local men anxious to meet this brunette beauty. The sheer speed at which the response came was laughable.

I created the fake profile based on a few simple tips from the pros:
1. The pictures should be flattering, but realistic
2. Keep the biography portion short and light-hearted
3. Keep your interests generic and vague
4. Be fun and positive

Does the world need another hook-up app? Peter Simmons thinks so. This week, his Raleigh-based startup launched Catalyst - "the social network that goes out with you."

Catalyst attempts to set itself apart from other location-based social apps by touting its unique features. First, unlike other apps that identify users by general locations or within a certain radius, Catalyst users will check-in to a precise location. Instead of just knowing who is in Uptown on Saturday night, or even who is at the Epicenter, you can know exactly who is in the same bar or club as you are. Second, the app protects privacy by only disclosing mutual "likes." The hottie at the bar won't know you've got your eye on him unless he's likewise fond of you. From there, it's up to the two of you to make the connection. Third, selfies aren't original, but Catalyst hopes that a daily prompt to take a selfie will assure users that the user profiles and pictures on the app are real and recent.