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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (July 9) 

Dazed and confused

Something Fishy: A Charlotte man refused to give up on his bid for some expensive fish he wanted to buy from a Craigslist seller. The man took to Walmart to send three money orders to the seller three separate times, totaling $1,510, and never received any fish. He turned to police when the seller solicited a fourth payment. If only there was a superstore that sold discounted fish.

Hunger Strikes: Everyone hates the lunch rush, but a local woman at McDonald's took it to another level when she assaulted a manager in an attempt to get her food early. Instead of waiting her turn in line, she took matters into her own hands and went straight to the kitchen area to grab her order. When the manager tried to stop her, the woman pushed him and pinched his arm, leaving a mark.

Dazed and Confused: Some people just know how to find trouble. An officer in northwest Charlotte reported that a visibly impaired man approached him and asked for a ride because his car broke down. When the officer asked if he could search the man, he handed him a pistol. The officer ran a check on the .45-caliber Glock and, sure enough, it came back stolen.

You're Not You When You're Hungry: A man was threatened after a suspect came into the his place of business and demanded a refund from a vending machine that had swallowed his dollar bill at lunchtime. When the victim could not help him, the suspect became hangry and threatened bodily harm to the suspect.

Runaway Bride: Things got weird when a woman called police and reported she had been abducted from her home in Rock Hill and brought to Charlotte. Further investigation revealed there had actually never been an abduction, but her husband had reported her missing three days earlier.

Smash Brothers: Two suspects reportedly attempted to throw a large rock at an employee from Austin Canvas in northeast Charlotte. The suspects missed, but left their mark regardless. The rock hit the glass door of the victim's business, resulting in $300 in damages to property.

Don't Be Jumpy: Security at a local Walmart was caught in a conundrum last week as they apprehended a shoplifting suspect who they may not have wanted to be around. Security reported catching someone attempting to leave the store with a lice-killing shampoo without paying. Security kept the suspect (probably at a distance) while waiting for police to arrive.

Defensive Drivers: A great instance of irony occurred in southwest Charlotte when a property owner said she witnessed a man approach her yard and attempt to steal her neon green Kids Alert sign, designed to get cars driving by to slow down. She said the man dropped the sign and ran off after being scared by a car driving by.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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