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Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from the Charlotte police reports

SOMEBODY LAID A FINGER ... : ... On someone's Butterfinger. A man told police someone put the candy bar in the gas tank of his Jeep. The tank locks with a key, so he figured he knows the culprit's identity. He was certain the candy damaged the engine, but police told him to call back after a mechanic checked it out.

PANNED OUT: A woman reported a $800 six-foot-tall statue missing from her flower bed. The statue? Of Pan, the goat-footed god of the Greeks that looks after shepherds. Too bad Pan doesn't look after property.

WHERE WAS MYRICK?: Under the cover of darkness, someone removed several flags from the roof of a South Boulevard restaurant. The flags included those of Puerto Rico, Ecuador, Colombia, the Dominican Republic and Mexico.

NO CHEAP POLE: Someone entered an apartment and removed one item. This wouldn't warrant notice, except the item taken was an $800 fishing pole. An $800 fishing pole?

BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT: A man left his cell phone at a downtown restaurant and someone picked it up. He called the number, and someone answered. He asked for the phone back and was told, "This is a nice phone. You're not getting it back."

THREATS OF THE WEEK: A fortysomething man reported receiving this text message: "Fat boy, I am going to fuck you up." A twentysomething woman received this voice mail message: "I'm going to do some shit to you." A man threatened to beat up a woman because she wouldn't provide him with transportation. Another woman received this warning: "I am coming up there to take care of it! I am going to bury you!"

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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