Time's up, pal.
Answer: You go to North Carolina, the nation's third-largest movie-producing state.
That's right. For years, the Old North State has been attracting studios to its mountains and beaches, its plains and sand hills, its cities and small towns for hundreds of movies, including blockbusters like The Hunt for Red October, Forrest Gump, Dirty Dancing, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I and II, mind you), The Fugitive and The Color Purple.
It's not just the big budget movies, either. Dawson's Creek, the (for better or worse) phenomenally popular WB series about and for angst-ridden teens, is one of several TV shows and small-screen movies taped in North Carolina, along with countless commercials, promotional videos, etc.
Since 1980, according to the North Carolina Film Commission, the state has been the scene or part of the scene for nearly 600 movies and six network television series, which have reaped $5.5 billion in production revenue. The state has more studio facilities (seven) and soundstages (30) than any other state except California (yup, even more than New York and Florida, home of Disney).
But times have recently gotten tougher for North Carolina's film and TV industry. While the state is still way ahead of the other 47 states in annual production revenue, according to the US Department of Commerce, international competition is taking a significant bite out of North Carolina's studio appeal.
Estimated production revenue in 1993, according to the film commission, was an all-time state high of $504.3 million. But in 2000, the last year figures are available, revenue was less than half that.
Those taking this drop-off in on-screen dramatic work hardest are local actors. There's still work to be had -- and there's always traditional theater -- but there's not as much movie and TV work as there was only a few years ago.
People probably laughed when then-Gov. Jim Hunt started the North Carolina Film Office in 1980: "North Carolina? It's got great scenery and good weather, yeah, but c'mon, it doesn't even have an international airport." Or something along those derisive lines.
According to its director, Bill Arnold, the new Raleigh-based office had no staff, equipment or budget. But it grew, and so did the film and TV industry in North Carolina -- and no one's laughed at it in a long, long time. In 1980, according to Arnold, there was no film activity in the state. By 1986, North Carolina had risen to its current third-place spot.
"It seemed so far-fetched in the 1970s that Jim Hunt had trouble getting funding [for the film office]," Arnold says. "Few people realized North Carolina's potential role then."
The film office became the North Carolina Film Commission. North Carolina's reputation as a film and TV mecca, nurtured and trumpeted by Arnold's office, eventually drew more than 400 production and support service companies, as well as around 1,500 local professionals available to producers to work on sets. The soundstages and studios popped up, and North Carolina now boasts the biggest film studio facility east of California: EUE/Screen Gems Studios -- North Carolina (Frank Capra Jr., president) in Wilmington, the capital of the state's film and TV success.
"We kind of hit the wave as it was going up," Arnold says.
The production revenue kept increasing along with the newfound reputation, topping $100 million annually in 1983 and never again dropping below that mark, according to the film commission. In the following year, the state was the site of 12 major productions, a hefty number that would seem paltry by 2000, when 81 major productions did work in the state. This number included 19 feature films, six movies-of-the-week, 56 TV episodes and several commercials.
What gives?
North Carolina's a bargain, that's what, especially with the facilities and professional pool already in place.
Arnold and others cultivated North Carolina as a welcoming place economically for studios and networks. Would-be producers could save up to 83 percent, for instance, on the state's 6 percent sales and use tax on items purchased or rented for filming in North Carolina. And it never hurts that North Carolina enjoys good weather almost year-round and has a diversity of geography (mountains, plains, cities, hills, beaches, islands) that is surely the envy of many states. (Go ahead, try it: Name a distinguishing feature of, say, Wyoming or Kansas, besides flatness. Exactly.)
North Carolina's future as a filming destination is assured, for the time being. Things lately, however, have looked sort of bleak, especially if you're an actor. Blame it on Canada -- mostly.