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Post Op Week 51/52: ... And in the End
February 19, 2010: 365 days ago today, I took on what I believed to be, at that time, my biggest demon. My weight. I wanted to believe that when I got to a certain size that I would somehow be OK with who I was. That the boys I wanted would suddenly want me. That all of my wildest dreams would come true ... if I just lost the weight. Then as I began to melt away, I realized just how fucked up my insides were.
Gastric bypass surgery for me was like imploding a condemned building and starting to rebuild in the vacant space. A trip to rehab, a broken ankle, a relapse, a 12 step program, 111 pounds and many other naughty bits later, I accept that destruction is quite necessary in order to rebuild. It hurts like a motherfucker, but you most definitely come out of the fire purified (if you survive.) And I survived a full year dedicated to getting to know who I really am.
Melted and ready to reform,
Stacey — 243 pounds