Sexual Fantasies 

Maya was three months old when her father ran out on her mother a few weeks before her parents were to be married. Maya, who asked that we not use her real name, is now 17 and a student at a Charlotte public high school. She has never seen her father, but says it doesn't matter. "My mom and I have a really good relationship. She's always been there for me," Maya says. "She's honest with me and gives me good advice. We just get along great. ... I hope I can pay her back some way when I'm on my own."

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• Former CMS Superintendent John Murphy, who initiated the committee that put together the system's health education curriculum.

When Maya was in the eighth grade, her health teacher told the class that marriage was the only circumstance in which anyone should have sex and that "merely living together" was not acceptable because one of the two parties could just up and leave at any time. The impression Maya was left with was that "my mom had messed up her life by having me, and that the way we lived, just the two of us, was a terrible thing."

Unlike some students, Maya had enough self-esteem to shrug off the teacher's opinions. "I talked to my mom about it and I finally decided that if they didn't know any better than that, why should I pay attention to the rest of what they had to say (about sex education)?"

Josh, another high school student in Charlotte, is 18 years old. Like Maya, he asked us not to use his real name, fearing repercussions from school officials. As a young gay man, Josh considers the sex education he got in Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools "irrelevant at best"; at worst, he says, it was "a rough ride."

"The teachers always talked about how being in a marriage was the only acceptable way to be when you were ready to have sex," Josh says. "And they never mentioned being gay or lesbian. One boy brought it up one time but the teacher wouldn't talk about it. Here we were, in the sex education part of health class, and the way I am wasn't even something they would talk about, like I didn't exist."

Josh's parents sought counseling for him, but it didn't help much. "I probably thought about it too much and it got pretty depressing," he says. It took Josh a couple of years -- "and really supportive parents" -- for him to accept himself "the way God made me."

Maya and Josh were alienated by their public school sex education experiences because CMS follows North Carolina state guidelines mandating local school systems to teach an abstinence-based curriculum, as opposed to a broader curriculum termed "comprehensive." In Charlotte schools, abstinence is taught as the "best and only 100-percent effective" way to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Monogamous, heterosexual marriage is touted as the only acceptable situation in which two people should have sex.

Although CMS' sex education curriculum, which is required for students in grades K-9, is less restrictive than most in North Carolina -- for example, it does acknowledge the existence of contraceptives -- it is far from what the majority of experts consider a balanced, comprehensive understanding of human sexuality. In the CMS curriculum, for example, homosexuality, masturbation and abortion are simply not allowed to be mentioned.

On the other hand, discussion of the various types of birth control, which begins in eighth grade, is fairly thorough, offering descriptions of each method and prominently showing the respective method's effectiveness and failure rates. Still, according to CMS Health Educator Merry Angela Gallo, students are not told where they can get free condoms. (One place, ironically, is the Mecklenburg County Health Department.) Actually providing birth control in schools is completely off the radar.

Changes to the way sex education is taught in North Carolina public schools came about as part of the 1994 national conservative shift in government. Newt Gingrich-led Republicans pushed for a sex-ed regime change in congress, and North Carolina was ahead of the curve. Thanks to Concord politician Robin Hayes, the legislature in Raleigh mandated that schools teach an abstinence-based curriculum. (See our sidebar for more on how the government got involved in what kids are taught about sex.)

The Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools' health education curriculum is called FLEBHS (pronounced flee-bus), short for Family Living, Ethical Behavior and Human Sexuality. It was developed in 1995 by a consortium of local educators, clergy, medical authorities and parents after conservative groups pressured then-Superintendent John Murphy for a strong emphasis on abstinence. Sex education is only part of the health curriculum, but as is the case in the rest of the country, sex has been the most studied and sensitive part.

CMS lesson plans for FLEBHS teachers repeat the "abstinence is the best and only 100-percent effective" mantra through all grade levels, a viewpoint not too many parents would disagree with, no matter what their political leanings are. But the lessons also evince a persistently conservative bias that places sex in a social and moral context that brings to mind the fantasy world of 1950s sitcoms. In Father Knows Best, after all, everyone went to church, drove safely, combed their hair and never, ever acknowledged the existence of divorce, single parenthood, gay men or lesbians.

In addition to the pervasive conservative bias, FLEBHS lesson plans also include the following:

• A multiple choice question for seventh graders on how to effectively reduce the spread of STDs that makes no mention of condoms.

• An instruction to sixth graders that two of the consequences of getting pregnant outside marriage are "diminished self-esteem to both parents" and "feelings of alienation and guilt." In other words, it's not possible to feel OK about having kids unless you've tied the knot. Leave It To Beaver's June and Ward Cleaver would be proud -- and would probably approve of the Ann Landers essay on maturity sixth graders are required to read.

• A strong warning to teachers against talking about "certain topics" for fear of political repercussions: "Certain topics are beyond the limits of this class. Some topics are politically controversial and are best discussed in a small group of interested learners, with parents, or individually with the teacher or counselor, rather than in a classroom setting. Topics not appropriate for general class instruction include: abortion, specific information about the mechanics of sexual intercourse (i.e., various sexual positions) and various sexual lifestyles. Students should discuss these topics with their parents."

• A seventh grade homework assignment that could have been pulled from a fundamentalist Sunday school lesson in which students are asked to name the "types of sexual behaviors that will improve my reputation" or "will harm my reputation," "consequences of sexual behaviors that would bring shame to my family or me" and "consequences of sexual behaviors that would make me and my family members ashamed of myself."

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• Mette Andersen, executive director of Time Out Youth.

• Instructions to teachers that, even when venturing into discussions of contraception, "care must be taken not to overemphasize contraception. ... When teaching abstinence and contraception in the same lesson, there is a danger of conveying to students a mixed message. We do not want them to think that we expect them to be sexually active." In addition, teachers are told that when telling students about the percentage of effectiveness of various forms of contraception, "remind them that the data reflects laboratory conditions and that human error and/or product failure could lower the effectiveness and heighten the rate of failure."

• A reminder to teachers, in case anyone had forgotten the main point, to emphasize the abstinence-based nature of the curriculum: "Sexual intercourse ... should take place only within a long-term, monogamous, committed relationship, such as marriage."

The students we talked to say their FLEBHS instructors seemed as though they were just going through the motions when teaching the curriculum.

"Most of what they taught didn't sound right, like it wasn't in touch with real life, you know what I'm saying? Plus, the teachers never did seem to want to be teaching about sex anyhow," says JaWayne, a Charlotte public high school junior.

Maya agrees: "They usually seemed bored. I'd get bored, too, if I was them, having to say the same thing all the time -- don't do it, don't do it, don't do it."

Elizabeth Boarman, the development director for Planned Parenthood in Charlotte, suggests the school system's abstinence-first focus is shortsighted. "We strongly believe in comprehensive sexuality education," Boarman says. "It's the best way within a school setting to promote healthy human development, relationships, sexual health and responsibility and knowledgeable decision making."

Boarman points out that comprehensive sex education also recommends abstinence as the ideal behavior for teens, but that it includes more thorough information about contraception, such as how to use it and where to get it, and provides information about sexual orientation.

An overwhelming majority of national health-related groups agrees with this tactic, saying that teaching an abstinence-based curriculum at the cost of downplaying information on safe sex and sexual orientation gives students an unbalanced, unsafe and unrealistic view of sex. The most active national groups pushing for comprehensive sex education include Advocates for Youth, SIECUS (the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States), Planned Parenthood and the American Medical Association (AMA).

The AMA has been particularly outspoken on the subject, stating in one of its position papers that "it is unethical to censor vital life-saving information from people who need it. American teens deserve medically accurate, realistic, and honest information about sex. Anything less in the era of HIV and AIDS is not only naive and misguided, but also irresponsible and dangerous."

Mette Andersen, executive director of Time Out Youth, a Charlotte organization that works with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered (GLBT) youth, says sex education that ignores sexual orientation "is very concerning to us, and it's also a big failure. It's devastating for gay and lesbian youth. When policies don't include GLBT youth, the message is that they're less important than straight youth. We've seen that it has the effect of increasing GLBT youths' isolation and it hurts their sense of self-worth dramatically. ... It's worse than a joke -- it's destructive and it hampers development."

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• Elizabeth Boarman, development director of Planned Parenthood in Charlotte.

Even though teen pregnancy and birth rates have been on the decline since the late 1980s -- in Mecklenburg County, the pregnancy rate among ages 15-19 has dropped 49 percent since 1990 -- a wide-ranging study of American teens by the Alan Guttmacher Institute in 2000 found that 80 percent of the decline is due to improved contraceptive practice. The other 20 percent may be attributed to fewer teenagers since 1990 having had sexual intercourse. Even after the past 20 years' significant decline, the United States teen pregnancy rate remains much higher than in Canada, England, France and Sweden, and 10 times higher than in the Netherlands.

No scientific evidence suggests that the sexual behavior of teens in abstinence-only programs is much different from that of other teens. A report on the effectiveness of abstinence-only teaching, which the US Department of Health and Human Services was supposed to release in 2004, has been pushed back to 2006. Several states -- Arizona, Iowa, Florida, Pennsylvania, Washington, Minnesota, Maryland, Oregon, Missouri, Nebraska and Texas -- evaluated the effectiveness of the federally mandated abstinence-only curriculum. Each found little evidence of success in impacting teen sexual behavior. A few of the evaluations show growing support among students for delaying intercourse, yet those students still had sex at the same rate as those who hadn't been in the program. What's more, students in the abstinence-only programs were less likely to use contraceptives. No evaluation was able to demonstrate a positive impact of abstinence-only programs on sexual behavior over time.

On the other hand, according to a number of studies including the Guttmacher Institute project, students in comprehensive sex education classes do not engage in sexual activity more often or earlier, but they do use contraception and practice safe sex more dependably when they become sexually active.

Time Out Youth's Mette Andersen says, "It's amazing what young people will do if you allow them to know what they need to know."

There are signs that many North Carolinians want a change in the way human sexuality is taught here. In February, the NC departments of Public Instruction and Health and Human Services released a joint, statewide survey of more than 1,300 public-school parents. Among the findings were that a majority of parents think the following topics, none of which are currently included in public school sex education classes, should be taught as part of the curriculum:

• Testing for HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases (88.3 percent)

• Use of birth control methods, such as birth control pills or Depo Provera (80.8 percent)

• Use of condoms (80.1 percent)

• Where to get birth control, including condoms (73.9 percent)

• Classroom demonstrations of how use a condom correctly (56.8 percent)

• Sexual orientation (77.7 percent)

Supporters of comprehensive sex education, led by the North Carolina chapter of the pro-choice group National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL), pushed the State Board of Education to broaden the sex-ed curriculum. They didn't convince the board, but with the election of Dr. June Atkinson as the new State Superintendent of Education, the supporters are likely to try again. Atkinson ran as a supporter of comprehensive sex education. She could not be reached for comment.

CMS student Maya says she would hope a change to a comprehensive sex-ed curriculum would make a difference for students, "but it depends on whether the teachers would talk to students in an honest way about the way things really are today. Then it would definitely make a difference, because the way they do it now, leaving out people who are different, that's whack."

Josh is more cynical, "At this point, I don't really care," he says. "They made me feel so bad, I don't even want to think about it anymore. But I guess it would be better if it makes sex education more complete and they recognized that not everybody acts or thinks alike. But like I said, they lost me."