January 12, 2002 News & Views » Cover

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Standing Tall 

Little People Making It In A Big World

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"My sisters told me to go over and meet him," Pam said. She did, and the two became good friends. However, romance was not yet in the cards. In 1989 Jim left Baton Rouge and moved to Pittsburgh, and the two friends lost touch. Jim was transferred to Charlotte in '96, and two years later attended an LPA convention in Atlanta. He was strolling across the lobby of the hotel that was hosting the convention when he spotted Pam. It was the first time they had seen each other in over six years, and sparks flew. "That was it," Jim said.

The couple married less than a year later, and settled into their new home in Highland Creek. Then, a little over eight months ago, Pam (who stands four-feet- three, Jim is two inches taller) gave birth to Campbell James Gildersleeve. Both Jim and Pam knew having a child was a risky proposition. A person with achondroplasia has one dwarfism gene and one "average-size" gene. If both parents have achondroplasia (as Jim and Pam do) there is a 25 percent chance their child will inherit the non-dwarfism gene from each parent and thus be average-size. There's a 50 percent chance the child will inherit one dwarfism gene and one non-dwarfism gene and thus have achondroplasia. And there is a 25 percent chance the child will inherit both dwarfism genes, a condition known a double-dominant syndrome, which invariably ends in death at birth or shortly thereafter. (Conversely, average-size people can give birth to dwarf children. In fact most people with dwarfism are born to average-size parents with no history of dwarfism in the family. It's simply a matter of the recessive dwarf gene making an appearance.)

"All we wanted was a healthy baby," Pam said. "We would have welcomed a little baby. But when the doctors told us he didn't have the dwarf gene and is average size, we both just started laughing. It was a huge relief."

And not just a huge relief because of medical reasons (Pam's had five spinal surgeries; Jim's had spinal and leg surgery) but because they both know what it's like growing up a dwarf.

"It wasn't that hard until I started public school," Pam explained. "I was the youngest of five kids and had all the protection I needed. But then, on the first day of high school. . .it was the worst day of my entire life. Somebody, believe it or not, thought it would be funny to dump me upside down into a big trash can. But I didn't let her get that far. Once everyone got to know me, it was fine. By the time I got to college, if anybody said anything I would turn around and tell them where they could go."

Jim had it a little easier. "I had the luxury of going to school with the same people from kindergarten through high school," he said. "In college I had a ball. I had a couple of classes with basketball players and we were the best of friends. If the halls were crowded they would pick me up on their shoulders and carry me."

When asked about dating while in high school and college, both admit they didn't exactly have the busiest social calendar with members of the opposite sex.

"It wasn't fun," Pam said.

"It was tough," Jim agreed. "I pretty much wrote it off. I didn't worry about proms and stuff like that in high school. In college I actually dated an average size girl for a while, but that didn't work out."

Both Jim and Pam seem to have developed a good sense of humor about their dwarfism and take a lot in stride. However, they said, some days are still a struggle.

"There are some mornings when I get up and the prospect of facing the world is tough," Jim said. "But you can't let it bother you because otherwise you would never leave the house."

"There's something everyday -- a look, a comment. But you learn to live with it," Pam said. "What really gets me is when the kids -- and it's not their fault -- say, 'Mommy, daddy, look at the midgets,' and the parents just turn around and stare. That's when I fly off the handle. If you're curious or have any questions, just come and ask us. We don't live in dollhouses. We eat, drink and go to the bathroom just like everybody else."

Frankie Finley can relate all too well to many of the Gildersleeves'

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