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The Blotter 

Cheddar Beef Gets Me Hot: An employee at an East Charlotte Arby's witnessed a man enter the eatery at 8:40pm on a Monday evening. The man proceeded into the men's restroom and attempted to have sex on the sink. Unfortunately, the report does not indicate who or what the man attempted to have sex with. The report does indicate, however, that the man shattered the sink, valued at $200. Afterwards, the sink sex culprit left Arby's without attempting to make contact with management about fixing the sink. Can you blame him?

Free Fish: A couple dined and ditched at a seafood restaurant on Pineville-Matthews Road. Instead of currency, a note was found in its place. "Sorry I came expecting to ask you for money, but you owe me from so far back so I decided tonight was on you. Thanks Tamara." Apparently, Tamara left without paying the tab.

Unfair Trade: Unknown suspects broke into a Volkswagen Passat parked at a restaurant in Matthews. The driver's side door was damaged. Nothing inside the car was taken, but the hooligans stole the woman's antenna. They had the decency to leave a broken antenna in its place.

Johnny Appleseed: During the construction of a sidewalk, a man reported unknown suspects opened bags of seeds and scattered them on the sidewalk. Apparently, attempting to green the earth is a crime.

Hard One To Crack: The Division of Community Corrections has reported that a criminal has stolen a $500 ankle bracelet monitoring device. The report indicated the bracelet is on the suspect but the suspect has not contacted the officer he is supposed to check in with or return to the address he is supposed to. Um, is there a reason they just can't pinpoint his location with said monitoring device?

Grammatically Incorrect Threats Of The Week: A man received the following threat at his place of work from two callers (possibly on an intimidation conference call). Suspect one said, "I'll put you out. I'll shoot you. I'll put you out." (Note the effective use of repetition.) Suspect two added, "I'm gonna shoot you in the head and I'm not scared. I'm not no punk." In a separate incident, a man left the following message after his 15 calls were not answered: "I'll come down there and beat your ass worse this time like I did last time."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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