Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Hallway Hump

Posted By on Wed, Dec 3, 2008 at 7:06 PM

For lack of a better title, this position is designed to do just what it sounds like. You will need to find a narrow room to accomplish this task, which includes anything from a bathroom, hallway, corridor, alleyway, or closet, etc.

To begin, the man removes enough clothing to expose his throbbing erection. With his back against one side of the wall and the balls of his feet pushed against the other, he should be able to position himself in a sitting position in mid-air.

The woman can now enter the scene and sit on top of him, while dangling her feet on either side of his legs. The motions will resemble a rocking/thrust motion, with room to get as wild or slow and romantic as you wish.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)?

The man involved says 7, while the female disagrees with a heartier 8.

Did you have difficulty getting into the position? As simple as it sounds, it is not as easy as it looks to find yourself secured in this position. The degree of difficulty will depend greatly on the amount of space between the two walls you are dealing with, but in general the tighter and more textured wall spaces will give the man the most gripping power to limit slippage.

Did you feel like a pretzel? Were you able to do the motions once in position? This position is not too complicated, but the woman may need a few minutes to get her groove down. In general however, this is no more difficult than the standard woman-on-top.

Any recommendations on getting either in or out of this position: Just as some restaurants insist, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service”. In the case of this position, I caution you with the note, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Stinking Way." Having a shirt and shoes will greatly enhance holding power as the seated figure. Completely nude is great, but once the sweat starts beading, the standard drywall can get pretty slick and your next stop will be on your rear.

How long did you last in the position? 12 minutes.Enjoyment once you were in position (for the woman): She was very turned on by the impromptu nature of this position. The seated grinding action also did a good job of reaching her multiple “spots.” She enjoyed having the control of the motions.

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the man): ”Sex is good in any position!” is what my Grandpa used to yell out in the back of the nursing home bus, and you know, he was right. But with this said, this position only received a 7 from me because it's greatest points of pleasure are when she is first slipping over your manhood, and then later when you are orgasming. Perhaps this is meant for a 2 minute quickie, which would only leave about 30 seconds of boredom.

Short Answers:

Was the position comfortable? Were you able to relax?

Man: This is not relaxing, and while it doesn't sound to difficult, it is actually more tiring that it would appear on paper.

Woman: She was plenty comfortable and relaxed.

Would you consider this to be an intimate position (Why or why not)? I would say this position was of average intimacy. It is actually great for the man who doesn't like intimacy because he will have a great excuse for looking like he is standing there holding up the wall. “That's right, I am trying to keep your big butt from falling on the ground, honey,” he says. Sound romantic? In truth, this position can be as intimate as you want to make it. It just depends on how many calories you want to burn, or how much energy you want to exert.

Are you achy or sore after the fact?

Man: My pubic bone was a little sore from all the grinding.

Woman: She was just fine and dandy

What did the position feel like (both mentally and physically) in 50 words or less? I basically felt like a mime imitating a chair for the first two minutes, then I felt like an actual chair for the next nine and a half minutes, then during the last 30 seconds I felt like a guy who was orgasming like a freight train plowing through a nitroglycerin tank.

Did she reach orgasm? ...Yes, two!

Did he reach orgasm? ...Yes, a very nice one!

Did it take longer than usual to reach orgasm? No... it probably took too long in my opinion.

Would you do this position again (why or why not)? If ever I was in a tiny hall way and we had already done it doggy, missionary, standing, and spooning, then yes, I might pull this out of my repertoire for a few moments... that is if my mind hadn't already subconsciously buried it in favor of some other Kama Sutra favorites of mine.

Any suggestions to make the position more pleasurable: Short and sweet is my golden rule when it comes to relatively action-less position like this one. Give her a few strokes of foreplay to get her pre-heated, then move right into the finale! This is as honest as I get folks, you want romantic, read Danielle Steele...

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