CLTV

In honor of the Snoop Dogg live show at Amos' Southend tonight, we present this here video of the man in action.

Ms. Taken, a company that makes fake diamond rings for ladies to wear to fend of puke-inducing men, has an official You Tube video. Here is their response to Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg's SNL "Jizz in My Pants" song. It reminds me of an expression my friend and I used to use -- "PIMM!" (which stands for Puke In My Mouth).

And here are the lyrics for your enjoyment:

Douchebags all across the club

Ladies' night straight poppin' the bub

Stalker eyes right above his drink

Cheese-dick style, with a shoot and wink

Snatch the ring from its hiding place

Flip the bird right in your face

Leave the bar, to escape your glance

Cross the room, now its time to dance

You sneak behind, don't mind, I guess

Until your dance on my cocktail dress

Cold as ice, yet you advance

And say you might, jizz in your pants

and I PUKE IN MY MOUTH

Swallow it back, I need some room

Plus I said I've got a groom

I turn away, you start to pout

AND I PUKE IN MY MOUTH

You ruined my night, esophagus hurts,

Take a hint, I'm not here to flirt

Round up the girls, its time bounce

Now I'll go brush my teeth

I'm 15 late for my Yoga class

Kick through the door, now I'm up in that ass

Find a spot, last in the room

Focus, breathe, now its time to ohhhhmmmm

Thats when I noticed this guy behind me

Quite a big smell from a guy so tiny

Pit-stained T-shirt drenched in sweat

O-face grin, bad as it gets

He made a grunt, then his body turned

Saw up his shorts to his inner-thigh perm

AND I PUKED IN MY MOUTH

Upside-down, so it's even worse

Son of Shiva, what a curly curse

Help me please, I could use a towel cause I

PUKED IN MY MOUTH

Why are there dudes up in Yoga class?

Nonchalant, looking at my chest

Please stop staring when I'm on my knees

Plus bearded men shouldn't wear capris

Last week, I was on a site

As I recall, it was a Facebook site

In my bed with a piece of toast

Checked my wall and saw your post and I

PUKE IN MY MOUTH

Soaking in the tub like a f***ing queen

Need to relax, need to feel the steam

A bubble comes up that reminds me of you and I

PUKE IN MY MOUTH

The next day, I put on jeans and PUKED IN MY MOUTH

I opened the fridge and a fruit rolled out, I PUKED IN MY MOUTH

When I saw Tom Cruise in Valkyrie I PUKED IN MY MOUTH

I drank a Kombucha and I PUKED IN MY MOUTH

I just felt PUKE IN MY MOUTH

I puke right in my mouth, every time you're next to me

And when you spit your game, it's like a train wreck to me

You're such a royal douche, I don't know why you step to me

Forget a rubber, you should go get a vasectomy

PUKE IN MY MOUTH...

... and Obama credits them with sharing their luck during his presidential campaign.

President Barack Obama loved the gifts the North Carolina Tar Heels gave him Monday, but he had one more request for the 2009 national basketball champs.

"If somebody could please present me a jump shot, I need one of those!" Obama quipped in a celebration ceremony on the South Lawn of the White House.

Obama, a fervent basketball fan who grew up playing hoops in Hawaii, told his visitors they'd all done pretty well since he famously scrimmaged with them during a North Carolina campaign stop in April 2008.

"I'm not sure whose luck rubbed off on who - there was some good vibe there - because they're now the national champions and I'm now the president," Obama said to laughter outside the White House.

Read the rest of this Charlotte Observer article here.

Watch the news from ESPN:

That's right, folks. After announcing to the world that he wouldn't allow homosexuals near his children, Joe the Plumber (aka SAMUEL the Plumber) says Republicans just aren't doing it for him anymore.

Joe the Plumber, aka Samuel Wurzelbacher, sat down for an lengthy interview with Christianity Today to discuss his views on the future of the Republican party. Wurzelbacher took the opportunity to speak out against gay marriage, which he says is wrong. The unlikely conservative spokesman went so far as to say he doesn't allow openly gay people "anywhere near" his children.

From The Huffington Post.

Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, tells TIME he's so outraged by GOP overspending, he's quitting the party — and he's the bull's-eye of its target audience.

More from this TIME Magazine article here.

Even Elisabeth Hasselbeck of "The View" is on the man's case:

New soul vocalist Laura Izibor is playing Amos' Southend tonight, opening for veteran India.Arie. Never heard of Izibor? Well read the story we wrote about her this week and/or take a look at this clip of her in action:

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

When it comes to living a greener life, all sorts of questions come bubbling up. Today we address an age-old one that has tickled many a brain: Can I recycle a beer bottle with a lime wedge in it? As usual, advice maven Umbra Fisk gives a smashing answer.

Read more at Grist.org.

Watch Umbra's solve the lime riddle here:

Rep. Alcee Hastings reads a list of sexual fetishes on the floor of the House.

From Gawker.com:

Of course he is pointing out that being on the Rules Committee sucks because Republicans are craven assholes who think fucking with the Matthew Shepard act is the absolute pinnacle of comedy but still, a congressman talking about animal-fucking!