What initiates that initial attraction reaction we have towards certain people ... and not others? Is there a chemical formula in our pheromones that bonds with some people and repels others? Is there some sort of scientific equation that they left out of our college biology curriculum?
Ever wonder why in a crowd of people there are few strangers that you are instinctively drawn to? Why do we even have a "type"?
And why am I attracted to older men, while the friend to my left is attracted to pretty frat boys, and the friend to my right attracted to geeks? And why is the guy over there only attracted to skinny blondes, and his friend curvy brunettes?
What attracts us to other people?
Consider this my thesis on the study of attraction. The following quotes are derived from my focus groups on the subject.
The Sixth Sense
“The way this girl smelled appealed to my senses.” – some dude
It makes perfect sense that a person is attracted to someone via a smell they radiate. After all, we are animals; many breeds of animals in the wild tend to sniff out a mate to mate with, literally. But isn’t there also usually something about the way someone looks, talks, feels and tastes that has you infatuated? Those are our senses, and perhaps attraction is our sixth one.
The Forbidden Fruit
“I like the thrill of the hunt.” — female lions and male predators
"Let a guy chase you until you catch him." — my mother
... And shit my dad says: "The trick is finding a person you can fart in front of."
Why do you think Romeo and Juliet liked each other so much ... were they really soulmates or was that just an open-and-shut case of forbidden fruit complex? What makes the unattainable so attractive? Why do we want what we can't have when we can have something that wants us?
The Gilbert Theory (named after my friend Laura who came up with it)
"We tend to be attracted to someone we see as better than us … whether it be hotter, smarter, richer, nicer. A partner that will counteract our insecurities and weaknesses."
So I guess that is what Jerry Maguire meant when he said that famous line, "You complete me." Perhaps we naturally attract someone with the genetics we would breed well with — the ying to our yang.
The Shallow End
Attracted only to attractiveness
"I like a girl with a big ass." — Some douchebag at Butter
"A flashy guy. Nice ride, big house." — Some shallow soul who would date the douchebag at Butter
“A good job” or “In shape”
Is this shallow? Not exactly. A good job is a sign of ambition, success and motivation — not just a paycheck. And being in shape is a sign of healthy living — and typically someone who does their body good, will do yours as well. *wink*
“I only attract emotionally unavailable men.” – Too many women that deserve better
"I apparently like bitches" — The nice guys that finish last
Like attracts like ... don't be an asshole and be attracted to assholes