Wednesday, September 28, 2011

If you suck at dating, read this

Posted By on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 9:02 AM

If you're having trouble finding that special person, maybe stop and admit that perhaps you may just suck at dating, like me. If dating were a sport, I would be sitting the bench in the JV league. I guess we all can't be good at everything! I know I could use some coaching myself.

My new co-host and work husband Otis on Kiss 95.1 says I am too dorky and I challenge men by being too smart. I will try and be cool and then rattle off some facts about something I read or saw in a museum and lose their interest in the conversation — and me. So should I dumb myself down?

But that's just one explanation of how I screw up dates!

Let's examine how we act on a first date. A first impression is usually a lasting one, and it's easy to make a first date your last.

So here are some coaching tips on plays you should not make in your game:

Talking about your ex. That is the fastest way to scare a guy away. No guy wants to hear about your ex-boyfriend; they want to hear about you. Check your emotional baggage at the door and travel light into your dates.

Getting hammertimed. Clearly, having a couple of drinks softens the awkwardness of a first date, but no guy wants to have to drive you home and tuck you in like a 5-year-old. Plus, being sloppy usually correlates to being slutty.

Not being friendly. The way you treat waiters and waitresses at restaurants is a direct reflection of how you will treat him, as it's representative of how you treat others.

Being too emotionally slutty. A first date is not the place to reveal your psychological scars. If there's no leather couch, you're not allowed to cry or puke out your sad little story. The objection is to smile frequently — and get a free meal maybe — not a therapy session.

Not knowing the difference between a date and an interview. It's not an interrogation or interview, it's just getting to know someone without a goal of what you may or may not employ them for. "So where are you from? Where did you go to school? What is your degree? Where do you work? Do you like working there? Do you have kids? Do you want kids? Do you still talk to your ex-wife?" ... Shhhhhhhh! It's nice to inquire about the other person, but don't just skip frantically from one question to the next. Let the conversation flow, and don't be afraid of a few silent pauses — it gives you more time to chew your food anyway.

Being a pretty, pretty princess. Kate Middleton actually is a princess, and she doesn't act like one. I don't care if you only eat organic. Even if the venue isn't your favorite place, be low-maintenance about it. And worry more about the company you're being than what you look like.

Playing on your cell phone. Unless he's so boring you can't stand it, the least you can do on a first date is make a good first impression by not answering your phone at the table or playing Angry Birds during dessert.

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