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Monday, June 20, 2011
She Said / Sex and the Queen City The two kinds of women in this world
Posted By Brittney Cason on Mon, Jun 20, 2011 at 12:02 PM
In third grade, I met this girl Shannon, and we found ourselves liking the same guy, Andrew. So we went about it by drawing ugly, taunting pictures of each other and hanging them up in the hallway at school. But even at the maturity level of third graders, we decided that no guy is worth fighting with another girl over, and we have been best friends since.
Then there was this other girl who grew up down the street from me. Every time I told her I liked a guy, she decided she liked him too. She would actively pursue him, and ultimately make out with him to get him to like her instead of me.
And ever since, I’ve only met girls like that throughout my life — my friends like Shannon and the frenemies like the slut next door.
Because I’ve learned there are two types of women in this world — those who know the boundaries when it comes to other women’s men, and those who cross them. Your teammates in life vs. your competitors.
So why do your “friends” try to keep you from winning? So they don’t feel like the losers they are, that’s why.
Because they’re so insecure they need to prove to themselves that they can get all the guys, including yours. By pushing you down, they feel higher up. But friendship is not a competitive sport: a true friend will celebrate your wins with you, not try to deflate you in order to inflate their ego.
We’ve all found ourselves in a classic case of the fake people. But if someone stabs you in the back, well then, that means that they’re behind you.
Don’t turn around, don’t let them slow you down or pull you back to their level. Just shrug them off and keep it moving. I know it's hard to keep the wounds from cutting, though. A danger of being a nice person is I am often too nice to mean people — those playing the role of my friend so they can steal my stage and/or my boy.
As many stab wounds as I have in my back, I’ve struggled with how to remain an open-armed caring person vs. becoming a cold and cynical person skeptical of everyone. But I realized that every person who has betrayed me gave me the same feeling. And now whenever my gut is telling me not to let a person into my circle of trust, I am going to listen. And keep it moving.
There is a strict girls code. If your friend likes a guy, he is off limits. Period. End of story. Just like guys put “bros before hos,” why don’t we put chicks before dicks?
These petty vagina wars are a field day for the guys. Do you not think they see these competitive games women play with each other? Of course they do, and they see it as an opportunity to play us and win. But did you ever stop to think that if a guy sees a girl not being loyal to a friend, he’s going to rightfully assume she's not a loyal person, and just play her. Then she's stuck with no girls, or boys in her life.
In the end, those who step out of bounds always lose.
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