Friday, December 26, 2014

12 crass tips for doing NYE partying right

Posted By on Fri, Dec 26, 2014 at 10:13 AM

After you've locked in whatever you're doing to bring in 2015 — see big-ass party list here to help with that — take heed of some of our crass advice.

Tip #1
Leave your fucking phone at home. Your friends will tag you on social media anyway, and it won’t end up floating in a hotel toilet.

Tip #2
All cash everything. Instead of plastic, ball out like a real boss and know exactly what you spent the morning after. For extra player points, you can even make it rain at midnight.

Tip #3
Don’t be a party rookie — eat something prior to drinking so you’re not puking your guts out before midnight.

Tip #4
Determine ahead of time what is officially your jam. Songs to avoid: “I’m All About That Bass,” “Fancy” and “Shake It Off.”

Tip #5
Practice your fucking dance moves beforehand. Drunken helicopter spins are not cool.

Tip #6
Once you start feeling tipsy, put the noisemakers away. No one wants to hear that shit.

Tip #7
For fuck’s sake, avoid shitty beer. Is that really the tone you want to set for 2015?

Tip #8
Don’t kiss strangers with tongue. We’re still freaked out about ebola, remember?

Tip #9
If you’re gonna stay home, for fuck’s sake, at least be naked.

Tip #10
If you pass out before midnight, your friends have free reign to draw all over your fuckin’ face.

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Tip #11 (Dad Edition)
Just like any other night — sober friends, pedicabs, taxis, your own two feet … just get home safely.

Tip #12
Make it a great fucking night. Remember: Uber is watching.

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