Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Signs of domestication

Posted By on Tue, Nov 10, 2015 at 1:53 PM

From previous ramblings, you should be able to tell that I’m anything but tame. Recently finding out I was in a relationship has led to some changes in my going-out habits to say the least. (Side note: Yes, I say “found out” because I’ve only been dating this young sir for a couple of months. Having been out of the “dating” game for so long, I didn’t know you could actually be committing to monogamy without checking “yes, no or maybe.”)

My weekends have gone from binge drinking as soon as I get off of work and ending each night at a different co-worker’s house — clarification, these were JUST friends and I was genuinely just passing out — to planning my weekend around the boyfriend’s schedule.

Sign #1 you’re being domesticated? Plans have become a “we” thing instead of a “me” thing. What are “we” doing this weekend? What do you mean I’m not invited? Seriously, what has the world come to? Me, settle down? *Scoffs*
Most of his friends are older and already domesticated, so every weekend I’m usually being berated about what my friends are doing, as if my company isn’t enough. smh.


So, Friday night, despite my strong desire to stay home — that’s sign #2 — I tried to wrap my head around going out. I started texting my friends. My bestie was headed to visit her mom. My partner in crime was in N.Y.C. And all of my co-workers were going to see Grace Potter. And we have sign #3 — your friends no longer feel obligated to see what you’re up to. They figure you either aren’t going to respond or don’t want to come, so they just don’t bother.

So, the boyfriend and I went to Plaza Midwood. We attempted Soul Gastrolounge, but the wait was going to be, “Only two-and-a-half hours,” the hostess said energetically. Yeah, no.

We ended up hitting The Diamond and then the drinking ensued. Before 2 a.m. rolled around, I was desperately asking to go home.

Sign #4, “heading home” now has two implications. Anyone who lives in Charlotte knows even if you have a Charlotte zip code, with traffic you could be looking at an hour ride from one neighborhood to the next. As such, relationship life has become one constant commute. I can hear my bestie now: “You headed home? His or yours?”

Nevertheless, at 10:20 a.m. on Saturday, my alarm was blaring and I realized I had to get up and get a gift for the baby shower that started in less than two hours. And we have sign #5: having to attend baby showers and weddings.

Forced to take an Uber since I never made it back to my own apartment, I nauseously headed to Babies R Us to grab a gift. I’ll tell you one thing, babies and hangovers aren’t the greatest combo. Deciding on a gift even with a registry is dizzying. I completed my purchase, which included Sprite, and hailed another Uber. I had just enough time to grab my car and head to the shower — in the same clothes I had on the night before, I might add.

After getting to The Summit Room, where the shower was being held, I decided “hair of the dog” would be the best remedy for my hangover. Two glasses of wine later, I’m feeling the side effects of sign #6: You have a love-hate relationship with the idea of babies and long-term monogamy.

Even while I’m well-aware that the way my patience and account is set-up *Kevin Hart voice* I’m not ready for a child, I’m staring at the kids running around, chatting up guests about the benefits of adopting and asking my friend if I can rub her belly. Not to mention, I was a beast at the “Name that Fairytale” game.

My old co-worker, who was the mom-to-be, asked me about my relationship with my boyfriend and joked about the prospect of us moving in together. My response? It probably looked a little something Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Not familiar? It’s oddly similar to the competing emotions of finally using the bathroom — relief and fear all at the same time... which I honestly thought would happen if we kept talking about it.

Even though going out has slightly changed, one thing I AM looking forward to is sign #7: no shave November. If guys can do it, why can’t we? Winter time is for leggings and sweats, no need to shave the legs!

What signs have you noticed when cuffing season has led to domestication?

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