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Wednesday, July 12, 2017

When Nap Time is Not Optional

Having a spell

Posted on Wed, Jul 12, 2017 at 4:00 AM

Have you ever fainted in a crowd of people? Without hardcore drugs and limited alcohol in your system? No? Well, I've got a story for you.

Picture it: Uptown, Charlotte, NC, July 4th weekend 2017. After grabbing a few drinks at The Blind Pig in NoDa on Friday night — it's popping there on a Friday, in case you didn't know — I was very excited to sleep in and hit up the pool with some friends on Saturday. You know: "Hair of the dog" or "sweat it out" are both popular phrases when someone's trying to figure out how to get rid of their hangover.

I forced down a couple beers, foam included, and was completely sold on the idea of sweating it out. I stretched out on a poolside lawn chair and prepared for the alcohol to leave my system magically. Somewhere between ordering a floating drinking game off of Amazon's Prime Now app at 2 p.m. and leaving to escape the thunderstorm that had swept in around 5 or 6 p.m., I lost track of how long we had been at the pool.

We ended up tucking away to a new friend's apartment for a postgame party.

Now, this was no festival situation where I'd had way too much to drink and "popped a Molly or Percocet" like Future, but you would've thought I was at Bonnaroo when I tell you what happened next.

In a fog of humidity and cigarette smoke I started to realize I was swaying. My friend asked, "Aerin, do you need to sit down?" I looked up and responded, "I'm swaying, I know, but I'm good."

But then as I started thinking about it, I realized just how damn hot it was outside. Just as I'd made up my mind that, yes, I needed to go sit down inside, another innocent bystander asked me a question. I thought about ignoring him so I could escape faster, but I answered.

Everything went black. When I came to, I was looking at the floor, and everyone around me was staring in silent shock. That's when I busted out laughing.

It must have been hilarious watching how my tumble caused all those people's buzz to be killed. Party foul!

Next thing you know, I've fallen again but this time I'm sitting on the cold floor of the apartment with frozen peas and blueberries on my shoulders.

As if it wasn't humbling enough that this time I fainted on a stranger's porch, now produce was being used to cure my fainting spell. #winning

It's safe to say that once I rounded the corner to The Corner Pub I wasn't too keen on the idea of pouring up. I opted for bacon cheese fries and ate as if my life depended on it. Later on, my friend asked if I'd like to venture with her to the University area. She'd left her car there the night before but knew I wouldn't mind hanging out with her and her squeeze at a spot you've probably heard of before: Boardwalk Billy's.

I walked in still wearing the bathing suit I'd fainted in and an oversized grandpa's shirt-dress. #keepitclassy. While Boardwalk Billy's may best be compared to a cheesy, Myrtle Beach bar, I was still underdressed. And yet, we shut the bar down. You can't take me and my friends anywhere.

The next day, my friends invited me to the pool once more. I couldn't decide if they really wanted to see me of if they wanted to witness another fainting spell, and this time be ready to capture it on video.

I kid, I kid, however, that would've been epic. Just like the kid that learns not to put his or her hand on a hot stove, I learned my lesson about hydrating.

Yes, I went back to the pool, but not without double fisting a huge water and Gatorade. Not to mention, I retreated to the shade every single time I stepped out of the pool.

After surviving a couple hours of summer sun, I thought I could handle rallying at The Corner Pub yet again. I didn't realize I'd surpassed my threshold and lost track of time chatting it up with all the regulars until I looked up and saw the staff shutting the place down for the night. This is when I should've realized that it was time for me to go home.

Instead, someone convinced me I should pay a visit to Crave Dessert Bar. My first time visiting and I was wearing a faux leather bathing suit and a sheer cover-up with Rainbow flip-flops. Dress code violation, anyone?

Well, that's a story for another time.

backtalk@clclt.com

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