Monday, February 14, 2011

An alternative way to be anti-Valentine's Day

Posted By on Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 12:38 PM

click to enlarge Thanks to Meish.org for the photo.
  • Thanks to Meish.org for the photo.

This is my third Valentine's Day with Creative Loafing and for the past two years I've railed on Valentine's Day and encouraged everyone to check out the very funny "Be my anti-Valentine" website where you can read such precious gems as "I have 3,987 friends on Facebook, but none of them will sleep with me." Or, "This February 14th, I'll probably come home and make some food and then faff about on Facebook for a bit and IM with a couple of friends and maybe write a blog and look up some random shit on Wikipedia or whatever and I doubt I'll even register that there's anything particularly significant about this day because I'm not a brainwashed, vapid sheep-like moron. Why, what will you be doing?"

But, I decided that this year I'll try not to be so hard on all of the brainwashed, vapid sheep-like morons out there who really do get off on this bullshit commercial holiday.

Why should those of us who don't have an interest in enriching card, chocolate and floral companies spend the day -- especially a beautiful one like today -- being negative and grumpy?

So, instead of spending your day being pissed off, why not spend it doing things you like to do? I mean, if you want to get all depressive and stick your face in a tub of chocolate icing, go ahead. But, what I'm talking about here is taking some time to love yourself and put a positive spin on an otherwise ridiculous "holiday."

Take the afternoon off. Go outside and get some sunshine. Pick up your favorite dinner on the way home. Watch that cheesy movie no one likes but you. Get drunk and run around the house naked. Whatever floats your boat. If you're having trouble coming up with an alternative VDay plan, check out ODE Magazine's suggestions, which include

Let the brainwashed, vapid sheep-like morons do their thing. It makes them happy and helps identify them so the rest of us know who to avoid.

Now, go do something fun and stop sulking around.

Rhiannon Fionn-Bowman is an independent journalist who contributes commentary on Creative Loafing's CLog blog four days a week in addition to writing for several other local media organizations. To learn more, click the links or follow Rhi on Twitter.

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