• image courtesy of Driftglass at driftglass.com

[First, for the clueless trollers out there who never seem to get these things, this blog post is satire. Happy now?]

Rumors swirled around the world last week that Libyan dictator Moammar Gaddafi had been shot. Those rumors proved to be false, but we’re starting a new rumor about Col. Gaddawful here and now. After examining relevant evidence, we believe it very likely that Gaddafi left Libya just as citizen protests there began, and he has traded places with another tinhorn jackass, Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin. It makes sense when you think about the similarities between Walker and Gaddafi. Both are first-class liars; neither cares what the majority wants; both look weird in similar ways; are authoritarian goofballs; and are openly clueless about history.

Consider:

LYING LIKE A RUG Walker repeatedly lies through his teeth, claiming that his proposal to strip Wisconsin’s public employees of their collective bargaining rights is all about cutting the budget, and not a union-busting measure. He also claims that the union is “inflexible,” although they have agreed to his demands for pay cuts. Gaddafi has been a “liar’s liar” for decades, first claiming he would form a democratic government in Libya, then denying any knowledge of the 1988 Lockerbie terrorist airline explosion that killed 270 people; and finally, claiming that he is still in full control of his nation.

MAJORITY THIS! Gaddafi has refused to step down despite every indication that the vast majority of Libyans want him gone. Walker keeps saying the public is on his side, although national polls show that 61% of Americans support public employee union members’ bargaining rights.

WEIRD LOOKING Walker and Gaddafi both have nearly blank, vacant eyes, and serious five o’clock shadow issues. Coincidence? We doubt it!

AUTHORITARIAN JERKS Walker refuses to budge on public employee unions’ bargaining rights, and sent state troopers to Democratic legislators’ home to force them to come to the Capitol building in Madison, Wis., although there is no law against legislators skipping out on votes to avoid radical changes. Gaddafi refuses to step down, and sent armed soldiers and mercenaries to shoot protesters. OK, Gaddafi's got a leg up on Walker for cruelty, but not on the authoritarian thing.

HISTORICALLY STUPID Walker says he’s following in the footsteps of Ronald Reagan, whose firing of striking air traffic controllers, says Walker, “was the first crack in the Berlin Wall.” First, Wisconsin pubic workers are not on strike and have, in fact, offered concessions that Walker refuses to consider. And, needless to say, firing air traffic controllers in the U.S. didn’t have a hell of a lot to do with the fall of communism halfway around the world. Gadaffi, for his part, claims to be the “King of Kings,” when everybody knows that was the title of a Jesus movie; plus, he says the revolt in Libya is the result of al-Qaeda giving hallucinogenics to young people, when everyone knows A. that's crazy as shit, and B. al-Qaeda condemns drug use.

So there you  have it: incontrovertible proof that we are starting a rumor that Scott Walker is actually Moammar Gaddafi. Let the fearful trembling begin ...

Like many people, I have relatives who forward chain e-mails. Thanks to a couple of cousins I really like but rarely see, I can keep up with a slew of cool nature videos, “you won’t believe this” photographs and goofy games, along with the occasional FoxNews-ish political rants. Yesterday I received one of the "Foxy" e-mails, which has been making the Internet rounds for some time. Trouble is, it’s completely false, and I thought you might want to know, in case you’ve either seen the message or it pops up in your in-box. The e-mail claims that “Obama has directed the US Postal Service to REMEMBER and HONOR the EID MUSLIM  holiday season with a new commemorative 44-Cent  First Class Holiday Postage Stamp.”  The message goes on, in enormous letters, to remind recipients to tell postal clerks that they don’t want "Muslim stamps," and to “pass this along to every Patriotic American you know and get the word out!   Honor the United States of America!”  Here is the supposed Obama Muslim stamp, sent with the e-mail.

The truth, ironically enough, is that not only does Obama have nothing to do with the stamp, it was George W. Bush’s administration that began issuing stamps to honor two Muslim holidays, about a month before 9/11. According to the nonpartisan factcheck.org, the stamp was reissued on Oct. 10, 2002. Factcheck.org continues:

At that time, the Bush White House posted an item promoting the special stamp, as part of an effort to reach out to the world Muslim community on Ramadan. Bush himself marked Eid al-Fitr with an address at the Islamic Center of Washington, D.C., Dec. 5, 2002.

Bush issued statements of personal greetings to Muslims in connection with the Eid al-Fitr holiday not only in 2002, but again in 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007 and his final year in office, 2008. (In 2004 we couldn’t find a Bush message honoring Eid al-Fitr, but Bush did follow his usual practice of honoring Ramadan that year, even as he was campaigning for reelection.)

There’s another bit of irony here, if you want to call it that. The stamp above wasn’t issued by the USPS, but by Zazzle.com, which sells custom-made products, including postage stamps. Here is the actual EID stamp from USPS:

And here’s a message that today’s rabid anti-Muslim crowd may be interested in. It’s from former Pres. G.W. Bush, who when he addressed the D.C. Islamic Center, a mere 15 months after 9/11, said, “The spirit behind this holiday is a reminder that Islam brings hope and comfort to more than a billion people worldwide. Islam affirms God’s justice and insists on man’s moral responsibility. This holiday is also an occasion to remember that Islam gave birth to a rich civilization of learning that has benefited mankind.”  Just thought you'd like to know.

At a town hall hosted Tuesday by Rep. Paul Broun, (R-GA), an audience member asked the congressman, ”Who is going to shoot Obama?” The question got a big laugh from the rest of the Oglethorpe County, Georgia audience, according to Blake Aued of the Athens Banner-Herald. The congressman did not repudiate the question, didn’t even say something like, “That kind of talk doesn’t belong in my idea of America.” Heck, he didn’t even flinch. Instead, the elected representative merely said, “I know there's a lot of frustration with this president. We're going to have an election next year. Hopefully, we'll elect somebody that's going to be a conservative, limited-government president.” Broun then, Aued wrote, “segued into Republicans’ budget proposal.” And that was it.

Broun is a member of the Tea Party Caucus, and is considered one of the most far-right members of Congress, which, in the current House, is saying something. He’s the guy, you may remember, who skipped the State of the Union Address and, instead, tweeted from his office about how Obama is a “socialist.”

After the town hall, Aued, the reporter, asked Jessica Morris, Broun’s press secretary, about the congressman’s non-reaction to the question. Morris replied, "Obviously, the question was inappropriate, so Congressman Broun moved on."

”Inappropriate”? More like, “begging for a visit from the Secret Service.” For Broun to casually slough off a constituent’s statement that he supports shooting the president is simply, and utterly, outrageous — and something for which the GOP House leadership needs to at least call Broun on the carpet. Hell, even Sen. McCain, in the heat of a presidential race, had the poise and guts to tell a woman who claimed “Obama is an Arab” that her remarks were out of line.

The town hall took place Tuesday, but it wasn't until today, Friday — after Broun's non-response triggered a viral Internet firestorm — that the congressman finally released a statement calling the constituent's question "abhorrent," noting that his office had notified the Secret Service, and declaring that "Such rhetoric cannot and will not be tolerated.” Except, apparently, when it's at one of your own town hall meetings and you're not aware that the press is paying attention.

As one, anonymous master of sarcasm put it in a comment on the TalkingPointsMemo site, “If only a Congressperson had been shot recently to teach us the danger of violent rhetoric, maybe we'd learn something.”

• Rep. Paul Broun and his trusty retriever get ready for the hunt